Bone Wars

If you have a dog, you know this already:

rawhide = crack

My Boys love them some rawhide. Kirby has a bizarre ritual he likes to perform with his. We couldn't figure out what the hell he was doing until Tiki came to live here. Once we saw Tiki successfully bury a rawhide in the yard, we realized that Kirby had been trying to bury his in the floor in his usual incompetent way.

Bunny to the old man: "I think Kirby may be retarded."

The old man to Bunny: "What do you mean, 'you think?'"

The introduction of the Yarn Bandit into the household has changed the whole rawhide thing. It used to be that Kirby would just carry his around the house in his mouth and he pranced around all "look what I got!" and he'd chew it and then just leave it when he got tired and come back to it later. No can do any more. Tiki would steal it. So now what happens is Tiki immediately take his and hides it somewhere. Kirby prances for a while, then he chews it and tries to finish it before Tiki can take it, with Tiki staring him down at close range the whole time. Poor Kirbs. Sometimes I can tell he's getting tired but doesn't dare stop because he doesn't understand that there will always be another rawhide. When I can see that we've gotten to that point, I take it from him. He pouts, but soon he forgets about it, and I give it back later when he's had some rest.

If The Man tries to take Kirby's rawhide, Kirby growls. GROWLS! and sometimes BARKS!

So here is Kirby trying unsuccessfully to bury his rawhide in a dog bed:

Look at those hind legs all tensed up for leverage!

Here he is trying to poke it down with his nose.

That didn't work too well, so he tried to use his nose to scrape some "dirt" over it.

That didn't work either. Unfortunately, the dog bed is all one piece.

Plan B: Let's dig a hole!

Hmmm. no.

Plan C: I'm high! I'm high on dog crack! I'm going to tear around the house! The aftermath of that is here:

He has relocated Tiki's wubbie from the bedroom to the living room.

Tiki, on the other hand, knows that if you're going to hide something, you need to put it under something else. He likes to put his down between the sofa cushions, but here he is putting it under the crate pad:

I have to, I mean get to, look at his butthole all day, so I don't know why you should be spared.

Just so you know, it's not that Kirby can't hide things. He hid his chew toy in the crate, as you can see here, along with more Tiki hiding the rawhide:

Not great, but not so bad, either. He's just not very good at it. And sometimes he forgets how.

Retarded or not, he's perfect exactly the way he is.