Old Lady Post: It wasn't just a dream

  Juventus  1:0  Inter




Are you serious?   Raise your hand if you thought that beating Inter was even possible.  *looks around*  That's what I thought.  I suppose we Juventini have gotten so used to playing without real forwards and a real left back for so long that we lost sight of what our boys can do.

"Our boys."  SNORT!  Of the eleven starters yesterday, only four of them were regular starters last season.  Maybe if you either sell or bench everyone who sucks and go out and get all new players who are better, the team will achieve better results.  Who knew?

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Old Lady Post: Sardine Spam

I know this is super tardy.  I know there was another match today.  I've seen it, but I'm not sure I can trust my eyes.  There's the delicious grape, see, which may be clouding my judgment.  I'm really not convinced by the score I seem to have seen, because I'm not that lucky.  This feeling that my senses can't be trusted is intensified by the sight of Leo running around the Stadio Olimpico in his underpants.  I must be in some state of altered consciousness, because God doesn't make them that special.  Boy puts DDR to shame.

Tomorrow, when I'm sober, I shall look to see what really happened.  Until now then (see?  The brain she is not functioning properly), I bring you last weekend's match.  I can't remember much about it anyway, so it's not like my commentary would be improved by mental lucidity.  That's not a nice thing to say.  Fine.  Relative mental lucidity.  Is that better?

Cagliari 1:3 Juventus

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Old Lady Post: Garlic Can Wait \\\o///

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 18, 2010

Yeah, it was a trip in the box.  Suck it up.


So the team that dresses like fast-food hamburger peddlers from the early 1970s came to Turin.  (Dudes, I did a Google image search on this and I swear to God I ended up with an image of David Beckham in a crew cut.)


There was all kinds of awesome.  Choose your flavor:



 

 spicy?



Sweet? 

The Hairz were there

Old Lady Post: Best Point Ever

 Juventus 1:1 Roma



Giorgio came to play.

The match ended in a draw, and not every moment shone with footballing excellence, but I didn't get to the end thinking that the boys had blown it.  They played hard, they played well, and they have every reason to be proud of what they accomplished, whatever the result.  Albertino played better than I have ever seen him, Sorensen was impressive, Pepe showed me why coaches love him, and Chiellini was fucking awesome.  He gets this week's Most Likely to Get Laid award.  The line queue starts over to the left.

Can you smell that?

If you ask Mr. D, he will almost invariably say "no."  His official position is that he can't smell anything.  So when you overhear him muttering this to the Yarn Bandit:

I can't stay mad at you, even though you reduce our environmental conditions to that of a hellhole.

...then you know you have a serious problem.  It's not like we don't clean up after the devilish urinator--we do--but he can be really sneaky, and it's hard to get it completely out.  Over time, and especially when it gets hot and humid, an above-and-beyond-the-call cleansing of the Hellhole is unavoidable.  And so, this morning, we rolled up the rugs, salvaged the salvageable rug pad and tossed the others, and took the rugs out to be professionally cleaned.  We will be back to the bare wood floors for three or four weeks.

WC2010: Day Three

1.   Dirtbunny is all wound up today. It's HHH outside (already), I'm tired and cranky, and Mr. D is making no move to get to the vet for Kirby's refills before they close. He's got about 75 minutes to make a move, or else I'm going to have to go myself. If I have to go myself, that means I have to get dressed, and I was planning on wearing pajama pants all day.

2.   Some critters are eating my 1.8 billion dollar landscaping, which I can't enjoy anyway because it is too hot and too buggy.

3.   God bless Martin Tyler. Of all the ESPN World Cup commenters, he is the only one who refuses to repeat the "one game changes everything" slogan forty times per broadcast, because he knows it makes him look like a tool and it annoys the viewers and because he's about the football, dammit.

4.   John Harkes, who apparently believes that Algeria is playing a mythical nation named "Slovania," makes me ashamed to be a Wahoo. He is a creep and an idiot for many reasons, but anyone with the education he has should be aware enough to learn the names of the non-United States nations playing in the world cup, especially if he is calling their game.

FCD prepares for WC10

Clarabelle will not permit me to give up, so I'm going to try to do this properly.  It's time to take stock before preliminary squad lists are due.  Where is FCB the weakest?  It would have to be the midfield.  Who've I got?  Rino (old), Cesckipoo (broken), Camoranesi (old and broken),  Deco (skeevy), Franck (perverted and possibly in disgrace), and Pirlo (only brings his A-game if he's feeling it that day).  That's not enough even when they all work properly.  This is bad.  V. bad.

BRB *dashes off to make a call*

News from around here (Calcio)

Like the MainStreamMedia, I use the term "news" loosely.  This news is from two weeks ago.


Number One

JuanManuel Vargas has recovered from his injury and has returned to the pitch for La Viola.  Even though he stole a PK from Jojo against the Donkeys on Sunday and then BLEW the PK, it is good to have him back.


Number Two

On April 18, Roma defeated Lazio in the Derby della Capitale, which was excellent news for a variety of reasons.  One reason is that we Hates Lazio.  Another is that this allowed Roma to take the lead over Il Diavolo's Personal Representative in Serie A Inter in the Scudetto race.  But there are other reasons.