Marco Mercoledi

One of the many amazing things about Italian football is the wealth of Marcos.

This one is a Roman portiere who plays for Genoa.  And also, the Azzurri:

And this one is a Napolitano attacanti who is always injured.  He's a former Azzurri who warms the bench for Milan, and he's famous for his tattoo and his STD.  Really.  Look it up if you want, just not at work.  He's extraordinarily pretty, but is not, unfortunately, loved for his footballing skillz, although I would dearly love it if he would give me a reason not to be so shallow:

This one is another Roman, a centrocampista who plays for the Viola.  He is, again, an Azzurri, and Bunny's current favorite Marco.  He used to be in Bianconeri, but he was unhappy in Torino and transferred this summer.  Now he gets to play all the time.  After he had a couple of crap games, Bunny cast a magic spell on him and for once it actually worked.  His game markedly improved.  Really.  Look it up it you care to.   I has magic.

It occurs to me that my Italian grammar is probably all wrong.  I'm working on it.

Champions League this week.  I'm very very busy, so don't bug me.

Luca Lunedi

Have I mentioned this? Juventus and Bayern Munich are in the same group in Champions League, which means they compete against each other in group stage for two of the 16 coveted slots in the elimination round, and face each other directly twice. Their first meeting is this week. Later we will have to hate Loooca, but it's still only Monday, so today we love Loooca and his little delivery man Franck:

So cute together. I don't know whether Loooca will actually play this week (and if he doesn't, I won't have to hate him), but whatever may happen, I can go back to loving him on Friday. Note to Il Mister Ciro: plz to give up on Amauri; all the tifosi have; he hasn't scored in eight months; he sucks; don't waste a precious slot on him; thankyouverymuch.

Recent events you may have missed

1. While I was out and The Man was taking Yarn Bandit for a walk, Kirby learned how to open the screen to the sliding glass door. He opened it and set off, without his bling (that means no tags: No ID!), to join them. Luckily, he found The Man down the street without too much drama. Imagine The Man looking up and seeing Kirby merrily tripping towards him, big proud smile and tail flicking back and forth in self-satisfaction. Later today, I'll show The Man how the latch on the screen door works.
   
   



2. The Meat Man at the Glutton Place told The Man that it was illegal to sell ground pork. That's not true, by the way, so I had to make a trip out myself to find ground pork or a reasonable substitute because I have a hankerin for Salsa Bolognese and Bunny's hankerins must be satisfied or else..... well, we've learned the hard way that a hankerin's a hankerin and nothing else will do. News Flash: The Fresh Fields openly sells ground pork, so it's either not illegal to sell it or they (and I) are blatantly flouting the law. So be it. I hope I don't lose my license to practice law over this. (That's right. I have one, you know.) There will be Fettuccine alla Bolognese for dinner.
   
   



3. Dirtbunny's canned tomato of choice is Muir Glen organic diced tomatoes, no salt added. This has been what's in the pantry for years. When I write "can diced tom" on the shopping list, this is what I expect The Man to bring home, if they're available. He usually does, but every now and then he has a brain fart and forgets that this is what I want. A couple of trips ago, he came back with something else, which is not a big deal, really, but this was his explanation: "All they had was no salt added and that sounded gross, so I got another brand, but they're low sodium. I hope that's OK." When Dirtbunny burst out laughing, he couldn't understand why. I swear he's really, really smart about most other things. Really.
   
   



4. The Man isn't the only one with challenges. The last time Dirtbunny went to the Fresh Fields by herself, she noticed that they were finally carrying Amaranth again. Yipee! So she put three scoops worth in the bag, and then she lost them somewhere in the 10 meters between the bulk foods and the cash register. Ew. Wiki sez that the common name for amaranth is "pigweed." Blech. I wonder if I can still eat Pigweed Porridge?
   
   



5. The end of the year at the Teeny Tiny Government Entity is September 30, and Bunny is going to hit her performance target. It looked shaky for a while, what with the 10 weeks of bronchitis, the multiple depressive episodes, the Kirby cancer, and the general attitude problem. As usual, of course, Dirtbunny pulled it off. The taxpayers are lucky to have me.
   
   



6. The Bianconeri face Bayern Munich in a Champions League match this week. That means my beloved zebras versus my beloved Loooca. Also, Liverpool versus Viola. I really don't know how I'm going to handle these matches.
   
   


7. The Man just got punk'd by the screen door. It was latched. He didn't know it could latch, and he was trapped in the house. Maybe Bunny has won the Battle of the Door after all.
   
   
8. Let's be fair to The Man, shall we? Today he made the coffee, took the dogs out in the rain for their morning walk, fed them, did the breakfast dishes, cleaned up a Tikipuddle (damn dog), took down the shower curtain and put it in the wash, did the grocery shopping, cleaned the bathroom, let me watch an old La Liga game instead of the Spurs game he's saved from yesterday, and probably some other stuff I forgot. I'd say thank you, but that would be so out of character, he'd probably fall down dead on the spot. I'll just feed him instead (Salsa Bolognese, remember? That means MEAT!).

What's for breakfast today?

It was so good, I just had to share:



Toasted walnut bread (homemade) with mascarpone cheese and fig jam (homemade). So yummy. There are advantages to having a Dirtbunny around.

Mercoledi pros and cons

Pro: It's Marco Mercoledi!






Con: Let The Man have the car today. No yarn crawl this afternoon, and I really need to find something I can use the red merino Pam fingering weight for.



Pro: They sell yarn on the Interwebs.

Con: Sometimes when I read stuff I've written, I cannot believe how crappy my proofreading is. Given that my job is to write things, it's a miracle I'm still employed.

Pro: It's raining! sort of Yard maintenance crew across the street can't make as much noise with their leaf-blowers as usual when it's wet. Plus, rain is wonderful.



Pro: WCQs today!


Con: So far, Tiger has not shown up to accept my offer of asylum.


Pro: But that could just mean that he's recovering nicely from his disgrace. The offer is still open, baby!


Con: I keep buying eggplant, so now I have to cook some for dinner.


Pro: Ziti and eggplant, cheap Barbera, and the Azzurri make for a pleasant evening.



Con: I have really got to shave my legs. No messing around.


Pro: Maybe I can just wear pants to the office.


Con: I am very very thirsty, and too lazy to get myself a drink of water. What the hell is my problem?


Pro: Convinced the girlz to upgrade Marco in the Fangirl's Guide to Serie A! I spent all night on it and it worked! And I am getting better at HTML sort of


Con: This laziness/thirst thing is really disturbing. What, exactly, is keeping me from getting a drink of water?



Pro: I think this was the clincher that got me my upgrade for Marco:




Con: Fishing is gross. Eww

Pro: I managed to wrench myself out of the sitting position and have obtained water. It is cold, and wet, and good.

Con: In so doing, I had to enter the kitchen, and I noticed how grubby it is. Someone will have to clean it.


Con: We skipped Luca Lunedi this week.


Pro: There's always room for Loooca!



there he goes again, smiling with his tongue

Calcio Update

ISSUE NUMBER ONE




The Azzurri won their WCQ against Georgia yesterday by a score of 2-0. Dirtbunny is happy for the victory and for the three points in the Group Eight table, but there is no celebrating here. There is a problematic disconnect between the mids and strikers; the offense cannot seem to put the ball in the net, which is of course the object of the game. Gigi is playing like the rock star he is, for which we can all be grateful, but the team is not clicking.

Worse than that is the manner of this particular win. The Georgians scored two own goals. Actually, both own goals were scored by the same player.

Who happens to be the captain of the Georgian national team.

And the captain of the Georgian national team is .....

......Tiger.

Bad news for Tiger, and bad news for Tiger fans. He can't believe it. The Georgian press can't believe it. Some are saying that, with respect to the kidnapping and murder of Tiger's brother in 2001, well Tiger and Georgia are even now. Talk about a rough press. Poor guy.

I was probably going to call him up anyway, but now I definitely am. Welcome aboard. Poor guy.


Another unfortunate thing about Tiger is that he tends to take two kinds of photos. The unflattering candid sort, like this:

... and the embarrassing cheesecake sort, like these:

i guess we are meant to understand that one of Tiger's pasttimes is lurking in hotel hallways picking up johns. also, plz button your shirt.

what is it about cars?

He's a good-looking man, but these photos give Dirtbunny a skeevy feeling. Poor guy.

I am also doing something for Tiger that has never been done before. I am offering him asylum in the sovereign nation of Planet Bunny. He is a citizen now, and entitled to all the same privileges and protections that Planet Bunny's other citizen, that would be Dirtbunny, enjoys, for what it's worth. Planet Bunny is not recognized by anyone, anywhere (not the United Nations, not the Federation of Planets, not even TheManLand), but it's what I have to offer. Poor Guy.

So, Tiger. Ya want some time off, lay low and so forth? Or do you want to dive right back into training, get back on the horse, so to speak? Whatever you want, baby.

ISSUE NUMBER TWO

The summer transfer window is closed. Whew. Thank God for it. The Bianconeri benefited, on the whole, by signing some non-Dirtbunny Brazilians, and Capi and Fabi, although they lost Marco Marchionni to the Viola. One particular transfer has resulted in, well, he's DeadToMe (tm), so let's not mention it.

Most of the rest of the Dirtbunnies were stable this summer. Ole Man Panooch went from Roma to newly-promoted Parma. Sleepy was going to go to Chelsea, or not, depending on what day it was, but he stayed. Rino and Gian threatened to leave Milan, but didn't. ADP's evil agent/brother Stefano threatened to take ADP to China/Spain/MLS, but didn't. Capi, as I mentioned, went from Real Madrid to Juventus. Fabi, as I also mentioned, went from hell in France to Juventus. Olof left Juventus for Olympiacos, in Athens. Other threats were made, but in the end, everyone else stayed put.

The new season is beginning to shake out. Loooca is either injured or in disgrace, depending on who you ask, and is not playing. ADP is on the bench for reasons known only to Il Mister Ciro while lesser mortals like Vincenzo Iaquinta, That Wanker* and Amauri (grrr) get lots of playing time. League play is on an International Break for WCQs right now, but resumes this weekend.