News from around here (Calcio)

Like the MainStreamMedia, I use the term "news" loosely.  This news is from two weeks ago.


Number One

JuanManuel Vargas has recovered from his injury and has returned to the pitch for La Viola.  Even though he stole a PK from Jojo against the Donkeys on Sunday and then BLEW the PK, it is good to have him back.


Number Two

On April 18, Roma defeated Lazio in the Derby della Capitale, which was excellent news for a variety of reasons.  One reason is that we Hates Lazio.  Another is that this allowed Roma to take the lead over Il Diavolo's Personal Representative in Serie A Inter in the Scudetto race.  But there are other reasons.

Lucio

How long has it been since I called someone up?  I've been really busy this season decrying the loss of Juventus' winning form.  (more on that later, maybe)  It's not as though the FC Dirtbunny scouts aren't always watching for new talent.  I suppose that FC Dirtbunny, as all Serie A teams, is crippled by the lack of focus amongst the suits (that would be Dirtbunny).  Let's remedy that.

There was a hee-ooooge Champions League semi-final match this week between Inter and Barca.  We rooted for Inter because although the team is only about 15% Italian, it plays in the Italian league, and one gets tired of all the hype surrounding Barca.  Yes, we acknowledge that Barca is a fabulous team and wonderful to watch.  Maybe I'll talk more about that later.  The hee-ooooge match was great fun and some of the photos have stirred me from my drunken sloth and caused me to temporarily abandon the cabana boys who bring me umbrella drinks at my island villa  careful training of the esteemed FC Dirtbunny squadra and attend to some business. 

News from around here (non-Calcio)

Item One:

The Yarn Bandit is still not completely potty trained.  But he is also still completely adorable.

Item Two:

Oh yeah. That's why.....

Prologue

Last week I noticed that I needed new clothes. All of my warm-weather tops are old and faded. This one I never really liked because the collar is funny. That one has a little hole in it if you look hard enough. That other one has tiny little spots from a bleach accident. This one here suffered through an olive oil splatter. I can't wear these any more, especially not to work. I thought I didn't care how I looked, but I guess I do, at least a little.

It occurred to me that it's at least possible that I have something that fits in the downstairs closet where I keep the out-of-season clothes. I haven't looked in a couple of years because I have been going through a prolonged fuck-off phase. That's right. I've just been wearing the same three identical faded black tops over and over since at least 2008, maybe 2007. So I went and checked and lo and behold I discovered a whole stash of long-sleeve shirts in all of my favorite colors that I could have been wearing all along. Oh well. But even better, I also have a stash of non-faded, non-stained short-sleeve tops that I can wear this summer. Bonus! And half of them fit! Double bonus! I don't have to buy new clothes after all.

Luca Lunedi

Roma got another three points this weekend and continue to breathe down Inter's neck in the Scudetto race.  Loooca didn't score, but he did do some hard thinking with his tongue:

Hello there, Halloween kit of love!

The Bianconeri have dropped to seventh.  This is bad.  Trust me.  Bad.  Last week, there were flashes of brilliance:

As you can see (if you squint), here we have ADP scoring from distance on a wicked free kick that curved in to sneak into the upper right hand corner of the net.  Twas glorious.  Twas just like old times.  Twas like he was 24 again, doing what he do.  He's the team's side's top scorer this season, despite being injured for the first five months.



This may sound like it's good news to an ADP fan, and it is, yes, but maybe you're asking yourself who else scores goals when he's not on the pitch?  The answer is pretty much no one.  The evil suits fired  Ciro for no defensible reason and hired Coach DeadToMe as a caretaker for the rest of the season, but his decisions would be laughably misguided if they weren't so tragic.  There are only two choices here:

1. Coach DeadToMe is hopelessly incompetent.
2. Coach DeadToMe is being paid by someone (possibly Aurelio De Laurentis) to kill Juve's season.

Either way, they shoulda never fired Ciro.  And if there was reason to celebrate a skin-of-the-teeth win two weeks ago (over a very weak side that Juve should have beaten comfortably), well, this is how Il Capitano looked on Saturday, when they played another relegation-bait team of suck that they should have beaten comfortably:

Football is suffering.

Our Nation's Capital, First Weekend in April

Oops, I did it again

Behold:  "Lunch."

Yeah, yeah.  Five bags and a long-eared grocery inspector.  Every single thing was an absolute necessity, I swear!

1. Sandwiches and potatoes (deep-fried for him, mayonnaise-coated for me):  Lunch.
2. Diet tonic water:  For G&T on the 1.8 billion dollar deck since it's going to be one of the ten weekends a year when the weather will be optimal. 
3. Farfalle and parm:  Carbonara for dinner, since I already got the pancetta at The Italian Store yesterday when I bought the linguine fini and the cheap Barbera.
4. English cucumbers:  Because explaining to The Man what English cucumbers are is too much trouble so I might as well get them myself.
5. Mascarpone and whipping cream:  For the tiramisu so I can economically use the last of the Christmas pannetone that's in the freezer.
6. Nuts and seeds: Snack.  I need the extra zinc, OK?  And if I eat almonds when I get peckish, I'm less likely to buy Pop-tarts from the vending machine.
7. Apples, cereal, bananas, and milk:  We're almost out.
8. Chocolate:  Brownies.  I put brownies on the to-do list a few weeks ago and I won't be able to rest until there are brownies.  This is an urgent matter of mental health.
9. Pellegrino:  Because the Glutton Place doesn't carry our kind of seltzer.  It's not like I had a choice.
10. Strawberries:  Organic strawberries at two pounds for five dollars?  Around here?  It would be a crime to pass them by.
11. May 2010 La Cucina Italiana:  Sometimes they sell out and I want to be sure to get one.  How else will I know the lastest spring-time recipes for meat and obscure regional Italian ingredients?  Plus it has an ad in the back with the address for that shop in Vienna (no, not the Austrian Vienna) near the yarn store that I've been meaning to visit.
12. Fontina D'Aosta, gorgonzola dolce, walnuts, mozzarella, and frozen pizza dough:  For two kinds of pizza, because I can't decide which one I'd rather have this weekend, and I can't very well make pizza dough with a broken Mr. Kitchen Aid mixer, can I?
13. Red snapper:  Umm....  Dinnner!    Yeah, that's it!  Dinner some time in the next few days when I don't have an arbitrary aversion to fish.  (I almost went for the whole trout with heads on, but I lost my nerve).
14. Four pints of ice cream/gelato:  But I haven't had any since last weekend!  Come ON!

Supervisory long-eared grocery inspector: Let's see.  Cheese......  fish....... strawberries......cheese.....ice cream.......cheese......  Yup.  It's all there.  Good work young grasshopper.  Soon you will be qualified to inspect groceries without a backup.