Oh yeah. That's why.....

Prologue

Last week I noticed that I needed new clothes. All of my warm-weather tops are old and faded. This one I never really liked because the collar is funny. That one has a little hole in it if you look hard enough. That other one has tiny little spots from a bleach accident. This one here suffered through an olive oil splatter. I can't wear these any more, especially not to work. I thought I didn't care how I looked, but I guess I do, at least a little.

It occurred to me that it's at least possible that I have something that fits in the downstairs closet where I keep the out-of-season clothes. I haven't looked in a couple of years because I have been going through a prolonged fuck-off phase. That's right. I've just been wearing the same three identical faded black tops over and over since at least 2008, maybe 2007. So I went and checked and lo and behold I discovered a whole stash of long-sleeve shirts in all of my favorite colors that I could have been wearing all along. Oh well. But even better, I also have a stash of non-faded, non-stained short-sleeve tops that I can wear this summer. Bonus! And half of them fit! Double bonus! I don't have to buy new clothes after all.

And now on to our story

So's I'm wearing a recently-rediscovered pale blue shirt today and I'm walking back from therapy through Dupont Circle and the fountain is going and it's a nice breezy spring day and I'm a thinking about what I gotta do when I get back to the office. And I'm enjoying the weather and feeling optimistic and I wonder if maybe I should dig out all my pretty summer shoes and start wearing something besides Birks all the damn time. Maybe I'll do that today after work before I lose my will to live again. Let's see. I got that thing at 2:20 and I've gotta stop at the drugstore after that, and then I got that other thing at 4:00 and I have to let the dogs out for a potty break for some point, especially since Tiki went on the ottoman yesterday and I won't be getting home until 6:30-7:00 so they'll be stuck in the house until Mr. D liberates them at about 6:15, and....

Wait a minute! When am I going to eat? I don't really have time for lunch but if I skip lunch I'll end up snarfing a whole bag of pretzels in the car on the way to the 4:00 thing and I'll still end up hypoglycemic and with a wicked headache by the time I get home and there's really nothing for dinner so I'll probably end up committing carbicide. Oh dear. I've gotta come up with a way to eat something that isn't a Mocha Frappucino or something. Wow. I haven't been to Starbucks in a very long time. If I make coffee with the French Press in my office, I'll have to clean it and I really don't have time for that today but I sure do want a coffee and they have food there, right? So for the first time in MONTHS, I stopped at the Starbucks on the way back from therapy and bought myself a cuppa joe and a freaking doughnut. And I'm wearing my sorta newish light blue shirt and walking the rest of the way back to my office and can you figure out where this is going yet? Does this help you out any? No?

Well I coffeed myself. It splashed up out of the little hole on the lid, like it always fucking does, and I now have a coffee stain on my sorta newish light blue shirt. I hope it comes out in the wash. I ended up spending most of the day in my office, waiting for the transparent wet spot right there on the left girl to dry so I would be decent.

this post powered by mediocre black coffee and a temporary sense of urban cool

 UPDATE

• Did not flash anyone at the office.
• Lunch was eaten , in a manner of speaking  put in the blender and drank
• pretzels were not snarfed
• hypoglycemic episode did not occur
• carbicide was not committed
• Dogs Yarn Bandit  did not pee n the house (that we know of)
• Have not yet gone on The Great Shoe Hunt

this update powered by unflavored seltzer water and the giddy anticipation of coconut layer cake, which will be baked later today, even though Mr. Kitchen Aid Mixer is dead