Oops, I did it again

Behold:  "Lunch."

Yeah, yeah.  Five bags and a long-eared grocery inspector.  Every single thing was an absolute necessity, I swear!

1. Sandwiches and potatoes (deep-fried for him, mayonnaise-coated for me):  Lunch.
2. Diet tonic water:  For G&T on the 1.8 billion dollar deck since it's going to be one of the ten weekends a year when the weather will be optimal. 
3. Farfalle and parm:  Carbonara for dinner, since I already got the pancetta at The Italian Store yesterday when I bought the linguine fini and the cheap Barbera.
4. English cucumbers:  Because explaining to The Man what English cucumbers are is too much trouble so I might as well get them myself.
5. Mascarpone and whipping cream:  For the tiramisu so I can economically use the last of the Christmas pannetone that's in the freezer.
6. Nuts and seeds: Snack.  I need the extra zinc, OK?  And if I eat almonds when I get peckish, I'm less likely to buy Pop-tarts from the vending machine.
7. Apples, cereal, bananas, and milk:  We're almost out.
8. Chocolate:  Brownies.  I put brownies on the to-do list a few weeks ago and I won't be able to rest until there are brownies.  This is an urgent matter of mental health.
9. Pellegrino:  Because the Glutton Place doesn't carry our kind of seltzer.  It's not like I had a choice.
10. Strawberries:  Organic strawberries at two pounds for five dollars?  Around here?  It would be a crime to pass them by.
11. May 2010 La Cucina Italiana:  Sometimes they sell out and I want to be sure to get one.  How else will I know the lastest spring-time recipes for meat and obscure regional Italian ingredients?  Plus it has an ad in the back with the address for that shop in Vienna (no, not the Austrian Vienna) near the yarn store that I've been meaning to visit.
12. Fontina D'Aosta, gorgonzola dolce, walnuts, mozzarella, and frozen pizza dough:  For two kinds of pizza, because I can't decide which one I'd rather have this weekend, and I can't very well make pizza dough with a broken Mr. Kitchen Aid mixer, can I?
13. Red snapper:  Umm....  Dinnner!    Yeah, that's it!  Dinner some time in the next few days when I don't have an arbitrary aversion to fish.  (I almost went for the whole trout with heads on, but I lost my nerve).
14. Four pints of ice cream/gelato:  But I haven't had any since last weekend!  Come ON!

Supervisory long-eared grocery inspector: Let's see.  Cheese......  fish....... strawberries......cheese.....ice cream.......cheese......  Yup.  It's all there.  Good work young grasshopper.  Soon you will be qualified to inspect groceries without a backup.