Recent events you may have missed

1. While I was out and The Man was taking Yarn Bandit for a walk, Kirby learned how to open the screen to the sliding glass door. He opened it and set off, without his bling (that means no tags: No ID!), to join them. Luckily, he found The Man down the street without too much drama. Imagine The Man looking up and seeing Kirby merrily tripping towards him, big proud smile and tail flicking back and forth in self-satisfaction. Later today, I'll show The Man how the latch on the screen door works.
   
   



2. The Meat Man at the Glutton Place told The Man that it was illegal to sell ground pork. That's not true, by the way, so I had to make a trip out myself to find ground pork or a reasonable substitute because I have a hankerin for Salsa Bolognese and Bunny's hankerins must be satisfied or else..... well, we've learned the hard way that a hankerin's a hankerin and nothing else will do. News Flash: The Fresh Fields openly sells ground pork, so it's either not illegal to sell it or they (and I) are blatantly flouting the law. So be it. I hope I don't lose my license to practice law over this. (That's right. I have one, you know.) There will be Fettuccine alla Bolognese for dinner.
   
   



3. Dirtbunny's canned tomato of choice is Muir Glen organic diced tomatoes, no salt added. This has been what's in the pantry for years. When I write "can diced tom" on the shopping list, this is what I expect The Man to bring home, if they're available. He usually does, but every now and then he has a brain fart and forgets that this is what I want. A couple of trips ago, he came back with something else, which is not a big deal, really, but this was his explanation: "All they had was no salt added and that sounded gross, so I got another brand, but they're low sodium. I hope that's OK." When Dirtbunny burst out laughing, he couldn't understand why. I swear he's really, really smart about most other things. Really.
   
   



4. The Man isn't the only one with challenges. The last time Dirtbunny went to the Fresh Fields by herself, she noticed that they were finally carrying Amaranth again. Yipee! So she put three scoops worth in the bag, and then she lost them somewhere in the 10 meters between the bulk foods and the cash register. Ew. Wiki sez that the common name for amaranth is "pigweed." Blech. I wonder if I can still eat Pigweed Porridge?
   
   



5. The end of the year at the Teeny Tiny Government Entity is September 30, and Bunny is going to hit her performance target. It looked shaky for a while, what with the 10 weeks of bronchitis, the multiple depressive episodes, the Kirby cancer, and the general attitude problem. As usual, of course, Dirtbunny pulled it off. The taxpayers are lucky to have me.
   
   



6. The Bianconeri face Bayern Munich in a Champions League match this week. That means my beloved zebras versus my beloved Loooca. Also, Liverpool versus Viola. I really don't know how I'm going to handle these matches.
   
   


7. The Man just got punk'd by the screen door. It was latched. He didn't know it could latch, and he was trapped in the house. Maybe Bunny has won the Battle of the Door after all.
   
   
8. Let's be fair to The Man, shall we? Today he made the coffee, took the dogs out in the rain for their morning walk, fed them, did the breakfast dishes, cleaned up a Tikipuddle (damn dog), took down the shower curtain and put it in the wash, did the grocery shopping, cleaned the bathroom, let me watch an old La Liga game instead of the Spurs game he's saved from yesterday, and probably some other stuff I forgot. I'd say thank you, but that would be so out of character, he'd probably fall down dead on the spot. I'll just feed him instead (Salsa Bolognese, remember? That means MEAT!).