Dirtbunny.net: Old Lady Post: Sardine Spam

I know this is super tardy. I know there was another match today. I've seen it, but I'm not sure I can trust my eyes. There's the delicious grape, see, which may be clouding my judgment. I'm really not convinced by the score I seem to have seen, because I'm not that lucky. This feeling that my senses can't be trusted is intensified by the sight of Leo running around the Stadio Olimpico in his underpants. I must be in some state of altered consciousness, because God doesn't make them that special. Boy puts DDR to shame.

Tomorrow, when I'm sober, I shall look to see what really happened. Until ~~now~~ then (see? The brain she is not functioning properly), I bring you last weekend's match. I can't remember much about it anyway, so it's not like my commentary would be improved by mental lucidity. That's not a nice thing to say. Fine. Relative mental lucidity. Is that better?

Cagliari 1:3 Juventus

pagelle

So there's this new guy Juventus borrowed from Cagliari in January. He's young. He's got chesticles. He fast (at least for the Zebes he is). He's got 11 goals so far. He's got big brown eyes like Japanese anime characters. He's kind of pretty, pretty enough to make Max Patrick go on and on about his "movie star looks" to the point where I was getting a little embarrassed for him. Also, he warmed up.

Whenever there's a new guy who gives the press boners, there are always a lot of photos.

Say hello to Alessandro Matri.

Say hello to the other Alessandro. I mean to the original Alessandro, who also warmed up.

Before the match, Matri bade greetings to The Don. After that, it was all ass-kicking.

Gigi started. Gigi gives the press boners, so Gigi gets photographed.

Claudio has been impressive lately, so he got photographed.

You never know when God's Favorite Brazilian is going to Go Off, and every photographer in Italia wants to be credited with the image they end using on his "WANTED" poster, so Felipe Melo gets photographed.

Momo gets photographed. I've been trying to figure out why, but I can't.

Aquilani also gets photographed, but I think this one might have been aimed at Andrea Cossu, tiny Sardinian midfielder.

Milos gives the press a boner, so he gets photographed. Lucky for us, this shot contains collateral damage, namely proof of Sorensen. Also? Lorenzo Ariaudo, former zebra, who was sold to the sardines as part of the Matri loan. Godspeed, Chicken Head. You seem to be doing really well over there. I hope you're happy and I hope you continue to play well, as long as you suck against Juve.

Ooops. Yellow card for Captain of Team Ginger. Get a haircut.

Jorge got the start up top. next to Matri.

That is literally all I can remember about him.

I remember that there were goals. Three of them. The first one was a humdinger because it was Matri's first and it put Juve in the lead, which seemed like it might never happen again after what happened with Udinese and the pinks. The second one was also a humdinger, because it put Juve up 1-2, which seemed like it couldn't possibly happen after Juve gave up the equalizer. Oh, and was also Matri's again. The press loves the supposed dramaz involved in playing your former team and blah blah blah.

After both goals, there were minor celebrations:

Matri didn't want to put on a show in front of the people who still own him, but Claudio was happy to put on a show.

Can you imagine Milos's glum, dim, unsmiling face?

The third goal was a humdinger becayuse it was a brilliant header from the edge of the box by Loooca, and because it was his 100th league goal, and his first Juventus goal.