Marco Mercoledi Venerdi

But first, here's your "daily" decrepit:

And now on with our show.










Mmmmmmm, Marco.  Yeah, that's right, you don't care so you don't get a Marcophoto, even though he scored this week, about which you also don't care.

This passive-aggressive post was brought to you by Dirtbunny, center of attention since 1967.

Happy Hellhole

It's better in a hellhole

You know where you stand in a hellhole

Folks lend a hand in a hellhole

Girl get me back to my hellhole

---David St. Hubbins & Nigel Tufnel

Sometimes, the level of decrepitude with which I am surrounded is mindboggling.

How did this happen?  I really wish I still had a live-in Daddy to take care of all this stuff so I could just knit and watch futbol all day.  (Serie A has midweek fixtures today and tomorrow.  Juve versus Samp.  Yikes.)  But I don't.  I am required to be a grownup, and so I am.

In this time of turmoil, The Boys are willing to have a little more together time than previously.

Look!  They're sharing!  Aww.  There has also been some learning:

Wise Kirby, figuring out after 3 1/2 years that sometimes it's a waste of dogtime to follow Dirtbunny all the way down to the basement if she's only going to be down there for a few seconds.  So he waits, on yellow alert, at the top of the stairs for her to come back.  If she takes "too long" according to his internal dogtime reckoning, he whines, then he comes down anyway.


No learning going on here:

Always, ALWAYS checking for food, even though he's not getting any.

Which one is the cutest?  Which one is the good-est?  Which one is the nicest?  I can't decide either.

Luca Lunedi Mercoledi

He's baaaaaack.

Not scoring goals, of course, but he's starting for Bayern Munich again, and he's flailing around inthe box as usual, drawing lots of defenders and freeing up other strikers to score.  And he got a haircut.

All Wound Up

That may sound like a good thing, but The Man will be happy to assure you that it is not.  When Dirtbunny is All Wound Up, that means someone/something/some combination of multiple someones/somethings has turned her crank really hard and her spring is about to  SPROIIINNNNNGGGG!   Not good.  We will be working on the Deep Breaths, the GoToYourQuietPlaces, Hey!  Why the hell is a County Police patrol car driving back and forth in front of the house?--  Where was I?  Oh yeah, my calming strategies.  Hmmmm.  I really can't remember what they are.  Anyway, we will be working on it.  So what is Dirtbunny all wound up about?

1. It stopped raining on Sunday.  So why is that on the front porch?
2. Dirtbunny may run out of yarn before she finishes the Ray-Ray hat/scarf combo, which means she'll have to rip back a few inches of scarf to come up with yarn to complete the hat.
3. Heat on or heat off?  It's 75 during the day and 45 at night. 
4. Can't mail package to Oregon because just realized out of packing material.  Have to buy more.
5. Can't go to nearby office supply store because it has been razed to make way for another high-rise.  Have to find some other source.
6. Should probably eat remainder of bean soup today, but it is disgusting.
7. Champions League this week.  Also, recurring cable issue has returned this week.  The problem:  weak signal.  We need a cable booster but cable company doesn't want to give us one.  In the 3 1/2 years since we went digital, we have had One television, Seven cable boxes, and Six service calls (at least) all for same weak signal problem, which remains unresolved. 
8. Champions League is broadcast on Fox Soccer Channel.  Fox Soccer Channel is channel 725.  Channel 725 is the channel the most affected by signal problems.  (726 is watchable.  723 is fine.  There is no 724).  Oh, and is most affected during afternoon hours (noon to about 8pm) which is when the Champions League games are carried live. 
9. The whole house is in an uproar, and my major source of peace and pleasure (futbol) is unavailable.  So I've been eating too much.  Which means I feel vaguely sick all the time, plus I hate myself for eating too much.
10. When I start hating myself for one reason, my brain automatically searches through the memory archives for more evidence of my suckitude so my self-hatred can blossom and flourish.  This means that I will suddenly find myself ruminating about all sorts of bullshit I'd rather not be thinking about, such as:  
    

    --The fact that The Man squished a slug on Monday and didn't clean it up even though he knows I have a special thing about slugs and so I was trapped in the house and could not go outside because ~IT~ was out there and I was going to vomit if I saw ~IT~ again and he should have considered my special sensitivity to slugs and spent the 60 seconds to take care of it instead of leaving it there for me to freak out over all day, and
    

    
    

    --various professional disappointments, from the recent stuff to the not-so-recent stuff
    

    
    -- like the time I was supposed to test drive a new laptop and I lost it on the Metro on the way home,
    -- to the time I postponed my honeymoon to go to a job interview because the Regional Director was too inflexible to allow me to reschedule so I had a job interview the Monday after my wedding and I still didn't get the job
    -- to the time I sent that embarrasing email trashing "Joe" to "Joe" himself,
    -- to the time I wasn't allowed to reserve the hearing room for a function because if I reserved it for a function then other people wouldn't be able to reserve it for their functions if they happened to need it on the same day, and no one but me saw any problem with that logic
    -- to the time I cracked wise to Pammie about something and inadvertently hurt her feelings really bad
    -- to the time I dumped an entire cortadita on myself and ruined a suit right before I had to take a deposition in Miami, and
    

    --childhood incidents such as that time I wringed/wrang out the dishrag on Sherry's head in elementary school (why did I do that?), and
    
    -- the time in college I went to a party with the grad students on my research team and seriously overstayed my welcome and was too socially tone-deaf to notice, and
    
    -- that dumb thing I said at lunch in Indianapolis.
    

    Et cetera.  Need I go on?
    
11. This leads to what is known around here as a Shame Spiral.  It is bad.
12. ADP is broken, Marco is broken, Diego Milito is broken, Claudio Marchisio is broken, Seb Giovinco is broken, Loooca sucks, Gigi it turns out is a sexist schmuck (not really surprised, but disappointed nonetheless), someone messed up Roberto Rossetti's wiki, one of my favorite Genoa players is all mixed up with the mob, Juve hasn't won a game in something like six matches, Landon Donovan got player of the year in the US, and all the stuff I was upset about on this day are still true.
13. I'm starting to think that maybe making a list of all the things I am upset about was not a good idea.
14. I can't end a list with number 13.

Juventus is playing Maccabi Haifa in Israel right about now.  IF the cable gets fixed in time, the game will be broadcast in the middle of the night and I can watch it tomorrow.

Luca Lunedi

That's right.  Our boy got the start in league play this week.  He's working hard, trying to get back on the national team.

Champions League (again) this week. 

What Dirtbunny Did this Week

Because, as we all know, she measures her lovability and self-worth according to how much she has accomplished.

• Talked with umpteen contractors and signed various contracts.
• Got flu shot.
• Solved mystery of the check the bank paid out twice.
• Flooded the basement.
• Availed self of golden oppurtunity to clean laundry room floor.
• Discovered this:

Do you want a closer look?

 

Now you know, and let's not speak of it for a while, OK?

• Gave dogs their monthly anti-flea and heartworm medicine on time.
• Finished and blocked two bits of lace.
• Went to the vampire.
• Ate broccoli before it went bad.
• Bought dishwasher.
• Took load of crap to Goodwill.
• Scheduled next visit with the head doctor.
• Completed annual "confidential" how do you like working here survey.
• Discovered that problem with heat and a/c in basement is not that it is crappy, but that there is no heat or a/c in basement.
• Confronted multiple instances of the celebration of mediocrity over substance and did not go postal or fetal.
• In connection with above photographs, confirmed suspicion that there is no insulation whatsoever in garage ceiling/bedroom floor.
• Cooked ground beef before it turned brown.
• Ironed a shirt that really needed it.
• Disposed of dead mop.
• Remembered to refill prescriptions before I ran out.
• Went to the toe store.
• Installed anti-virus software that Geek Squad deleted without my permission.
• Watched a whole lot of football and programmed the DVR to record yet more football.
• Paid off a credit card.
• Found apparently competent HVAC guy who says he can make all my HVAC dreams come true.
• Got snuggly wool blanket out of storage and put it on the bed.
• Retired ancient bathrobe with broken zipper.
• Wrote a really big check.
• Saw photograph of Italian calciotorri in The Washington Post and did not fall down dead.
• Kept most of my appointments.
• Knew results of Liverpool/Chelsea match, but did not spoil it for The Man.
• Remembered to wear my anti-TMJ device every night this week.

Luca Lunedi

I know, baby.  My heart's not in this either.   No Azzurri call-up for you this week, and no Azzurri for me either on account of American broadcasting indifference.  I can watch high school--HIGH SCHOOL!-- football on ESPN360.com, but not WCQs.  Such is the state of our nation.  *sigh*

You're going off to spend your international break playing cards with the old folks at the pub?  Good choice.  Don't let them fleece you.   You'll be glad you have some savings when you find yourself at West Ham in January. 

Gigi Giovedi

Because I am in despair over the state of the world.  Because I am disheartened that people with views like mine are called Not Real Virginians, Unamerican, and Unpatriotic.  Because things that I think should be obvious (Torture is bad.  Killing is bad.  Helping poor people is good.) seem to be merely debatable talking points instead of something we can all agree about.

Because our popular culture is escapist, empty, and without grace or class or nuance.  Because discussion has devoled into screaming at one another.

Because it has somehow become more important to be in charge than to do good.  That the concept of "making the world a better place" makes people smirk.  Because there just doesn't seem to be anything good left anywhere beyond the borders of my own back yard, and because I know that isolating myself and withdrawing into my own brand of escapism are the same as giving up hope that things will ever get better.

Just because.

I know it's all bread and circus.  I know it's only a shallow pursuit whose purpose is to distract me and encourage me to buy things.  I know it's only a matter of soccer jerseys instead of football jerseys, wine instead of fast food, yarn and fancy knitting equipment instead of stuff acquired for some other hobby.  I know I'm no better than anyone else when it comes to consumption and exploiting the labor and lax standards of industry in other countries.  I know that even to express misgivings about our American lifestyle or to confess my progressive liberalism is to invite ridicule, opprobium, and contempt.  I know no one is listening.

This is why I devote so much mental energy to soccer.