So. Three matches, two points, Zebes can't keep a lead, Delneri is canned, mercato rumors blah blah blah. Is there really any point to a big rehash? No. No there isn't. It might have been different.....
...but it wasn't.
The Chievo match started out just fine.
Captain Alessa scored an early penalty (hey there Sorrentino)...
...and Mitra got another one early in the second half. So. Early Happy.
See? A moment when not everything sucked.
Can you even imagine where Juve would have ended up in the table without Mitra? *shudder*
Pretty much everything else I have are nice portrait-style action shots of our heroes.
Yummy. Claudio. Ours for five more years.
Milos, looking less haggard than usual.
Albertino never learned how to pose for school pictures.
The re-take isn't any better.
He's... um... kicking the ball while simultaneously getting an invisible cattle prod up the ass. Or something.
Marcolino, making the duck in preparation for fisting somebody.
Yes, I'm bitter. And angry. What of it?
Pepster.
Pepster failing rather elegantly (and wearing adidas like his hero Mr. D)
Gio giving it a go. It didn't go in.
At some point, the boys got the feeling that the match was in the bag, so they took a little break as they often do and Chievo scored two goals in two minutes. And that was that. The whole season down the crapper.
Delneri, because he is a tactical genius, decided to use only one substitute.
All hail Loooca, who did not save the day.
And so what started out so promisingly ended like this:
....and this.
Parma on the other hand was doomed from the start. No Claudio. No Milos. Plenty of ex-Juventini to wreak revenge, and last season's Krap Kits. When I saw those butt ugly kits make a comeback, I knew that not one of the suits gave the smallest shit any more.
Matri worked pretty hard, but it's hard to be at your best when you don't feel pretty.
Oh, what the fuck do I know? I was at work during the match (yes, a government lawyer working for free on a Sunday---remember that, American friends, next time you watch politicians pontificate about bureaucrats), and I had the game cast on. That pretty much destroyed any desire to watch the actual match later, so I don't actually know whether Matri worked hard or not.
I choose to believe Matri worked hard. The photographic evidence seems to support that.
Awwww, poor Giandonato has a hard time taking a nice picture. On the other hand, he's holding Chair Pose very well. I think I need to grope his thighs and butt to see how strong he feels.
That's better.
The photographic evidence seems to support the theory that Motta was.....there.
Plus, he went all season without showing us his arms. Boo.
On what planet could this move possibly lead to something legal?
Defenders. Zaccardo's hair has grown out, but it's still the color of an orangutan on the ends.
RAWR, Gio. He looks like the BAMF he is no matter how ugly the kit. &hearts
MARTINEZ!!!!! *shakes fist at the sky*
Pepe. Always there, because we don't have anyone better. And one of Martha's balds.
Stupid butterflies.
Bitter, remember? I can hate on Pepe's idiot tats all I want.
grrrrrr
God's Favorite Eyebrow.
Um....Oops.
Dzemaili gets fouled in the pants too.
Whatevs. Don't just be frustrated. DO something! grrrrr
Loooca: His protests are magnificent, but his football, generally speaking, is not.
&hearts
I don't know if I can go on. BRB *heads off for more coffee*
Ok then. Alessa time.
Check it: Martha's bald has saggy socks. Not all of her preferences can be explained rationally, but you gotta admit she's on to something.
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! *sobs*
Enough with the cute, whiny disappointment. You're the captain. Go kick someone's ass!
Your squadra needs a leader of men. What are you waiting for?
Speaking of cute, whiny, POINTLESS disappointment....
Conventional wisdom is that Gigi gave up a while ago, which only fuels the rumors that's he's leaving.
1) He made a save or two.
2) Why does Melo have a huge bandaid on the back of his neck?
But Gigi didn't save everything. It was Elf. Naturally.
And you all know what happened at the end of the match. Gigi and Elf were friends.
Some saw this as a huge betrayal.
I say if Gigi can smile at and pat Didi Drogba, he can certainly take Elf to the prom.
Alena's an amazon. Gigi probably likes that protective thing big guys get when they hang with tiny girls.
The best thing about the Parma match is the Parma family photo.
It's, um, really hard to tell which children go with which players. The Carvalho de Oliviera family is familiar enough, but what's up with Candreva? He looks familiar enough with the procedure to conclude that it his baby, but the way Mirante is hovering over him all DON'T YOU DARE DROP THAT BABY has me wondering whether Candreva is holding Mirante's baby. Are any of those little Zaccardos?
All I have to say is thank goodness Juve doesn't do this every year. Having to face evidence that they are real people with real lives and who do it with women who are not me would surely add a confusing element to my carefully-constructed imaginary life.
Ahem.
Moving on, the season closed at home against Napoli. Napoli had third place sewn up and the only way Juve could get anywhere was if Roma lost to Samp (as if). The press hardly bothered to send any photographers.
One of the Lucarellis, the one who's been out forever because of a debilitating knee injury, got one on Gigi.
Claudio and Leo both seethed with anger and hate. & hearts
There he is, mah bb.
LDN had already been canned by this point, so why not start Brazzo?
Is there anyone who thinks Brazzo will still be here next season?
Albertino took an elbow from Gargano.
And he did other stuff too. Whatever. It's hard to get excited now.
Also: Milos.
Yup.
Napoli got the first goal, but Gio had enough of this crappy season. He showed up to play football.
That's right. He got one.
Oh Loooca, you green-eyed gorilla of love.
Matri got the equaliser in the 84th, thereby securing a point. Whoopee.
And thus ended the season:
Hark! Who is that?
It's Boniperti! Squee!
In addition to Boniperti, PDC came in for the last 10 minutes or so. The difference was immediate and obvious. He has been sorely missed. If only someone took a picture.....
Capitano thanked the tifosi.
Yeah, yeah. Forever in your heart. Whatever.
I hate that tattoo.
After all of that, Juventus played in a friendly against Manchester United to honor that reprobate, Gary Neville.
Ugh. Odious man. Don't worry. I made Alessa use the special soap and hosed him off on the deck before I let him come in the house.
GN: Your entire team is so much hotter than anyone in the EPL. It's no wonder our announcers put your league down all the time. You make them feel inadequate as men.
ADP: Um, thanks. Please take your hand off me.
There really aren't any photos worth viewing, just this one of Albertino:
Yay for Albertino, but also, I want to remember how comically bad Michael Owen was. PDC started the first ten minutes and he completely shut down the left side. *so proud*
I don't know how the match ended because the DVR ate the second half, but it appears that Giandonato scored:
Pay no attention to the media whore in red.
That's it for 2010-2011. I'm not sure whether Juve gets into the Europa League if Palermo loses the Coppa. I'm not sure whether I want another season that starts in July.
For now, all we have left is mercato and new coach rumors. We have entered the dark times.
Fortunately for me, it's the Grand Tour season in cycling. The Grand Tour means my Swiss-Calabrian boyfriend: Fabian Cancellara, world champion time trialist, olympic gold medalist, multi-year Swiss national champion, frequent bearer of the Maillot Jaune.
Code Name Spartacus. Unf.
2 comments:
bloody hell matches : | Giandonato scored the best free kick at Old Trafford : )
Hi.
Melo had a "neck bandaid" becuase he made a surgery to remove a mark that could cause skin cancer.
:D
See ya.
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