That, my dears, is the Saturday-afternoon view of the Price Club parking lot, or whatever Price Club is called nowadays. I don't see a space. You couldn't pay me to go over there.
'Tis busy at the mall as well, but I know what I want to buy and I do very little browsing. Get in, stand in line, get out. Remember fall 2003 through spring 2005? Those were the pink seasons. It was a good time for Bunny because pink flatters Bunny tremendously, and is rarely in style. Not that I care what's in style, but fashion affects what's available for purchase, if you're a girl. If you're a guy, you can go to Brooks Brothers and get a decent suit or decent looking dress shirt no matter what. If you're a girl, you have to stock up when they are selling stuff you can stand to wear, and hope it lasts until the next time they sell something non-horrid.
So I gots me some shirts. Lucky for me, and for the first time since I can remember during a fall season, they had green:
I bought two green shirts. Green is probly my best color. I also got a pink and a purple. I tried to find a nice tweedy pantsuit that I can kick some ass in, but everything I saw was either a velour track suit, or shiny, or sparkly, or itchy, or ugly. Oh well. New shirts, same old black pants.
Hey, maybe I should have bought every green shirt they had in my size. That's either genius or moronic. Either way, I am not going back into the mall today, and by tomorrow, I'll know better whether I am brilliant or stupid, or maybe even stuppid.
Do I miss The Boys? Ummmm, no. They are at the pet resort and spa. Don't believe me? Look it up. I have peace here without them, I know they are well cared for where they are, and no one is hogging the bed or pawing me with the Paw of Demand or waking me up in the middle of the night to go poop. On Thursday, YB was so happy to see me when I got home that he stood up on his hind legs and went after me with both Paws of Demand at once. I felt bitch-slapped. Then, at 4:30 am in the morning, GK decided he had to go real real bad. He tried to wake me up, but I'm hearing-impaired, so no luck. He was so desperate, he went over to The Man, pushed open the door, and woke The Man up. The Man responded by taking GK outside for a poop so Bunny could sleep.
Hahahahahahaha. Silly Bunny.
What really happened is that The Man dumped GK on the bed with Bunny and went back to sleep. GK sat there and trembled until the agitation woke Bunny up. Poor little guy. Trying so hard not to explode poop all over the bed. So we went out into the freezing dark pre-dawn for not just one, but a double poop. A double poop of the extra-stinky, can smell it from the end of the long retractable leash variety. Gag. And then, several pounds lighter, GK decided it was a good time to play outside. Bunny never did get back to sleep properly.
And so, no. In this moment, right now, I do not miss them. But I will be happy to see them later. If you need a beagle fix, here's another who's-in-charge short story. It takes place on one of the sofas on Bunny's lap, on a chilly day before the heat was working properly (that's another story) and The Boys are wearing their sweaters. GK is in blue, YB in red.
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