Bunny responds to comments, including to the commenter who was cruelly jerking her chain

Bunny is thrilled to have comments. Some of them deserve a response. A certain other comment does not deserve a response but will get one anyway.

1) Dear NACSAR fan,

Thanks for reading and thanks for commenting. Your comment means a lot because I am pretty sure I don't know any NASCAR fans, so you must be someone with whom I am not personally acquainted, and thus you haven't been driven to read by direct guilt trip. I'm not so much into NASCAR, and I could expound with a monograph detailing all of my NASCAR-related opinions, but I don't dare risk alienating you. I would never have imagined before I got them how attached I would get to The Boys. It sounds like you understand.

2) To the anonymous commenter who wanted to know how to tell The Boys apart,

It's obvious to me. They don't look anything alike. But I think all Norwegian Elkhounds at the dog park look alike and I'm sure their humans would disagree. I've posted a primer on the FAQ. Sorry it looks like it was written by a kindergartner. Maybe Santa will bring Dirtbunny a tablet and stylus for her laptop.

3) To the person who does not deserve a response,

You think you're funny but you're not. The Ghost and Mr. Chicken is a very scary movie, and it is unkind to tease the Dirtbunny.

4) To everyone who doesn't know what Bunny is talking about under number 3,

Commenter Wiseacre is referring to an old Bunny Family Legend. When Dirtbunny was a mere kitten living in Charlottesville, her family took a road trip to Richmond to the Virginia Museum. It was a long day, and when Bunny returned home, her tummy was upset, so she commenced to barfing. Then a Don Knotts movie, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, came on the tube. As adults, we all know that any movie with Don Knotts playing a character named Mr. Chicken is probably a comedy. As a 5-year-old Dirtbunny with the pukes and coming off a long road trip, it seemed like a horror movie. Some members of the Bunny family to this day think it is High-Sterical that little Bunny could be so scared at a Don Knotts movie. Hence, scaredy dog dressed as Don Knotts.

5) To the commenter who wondered if the Laws Of Bunny Planet require Bunny to finish a Rush Limbaugh book that she started reading by accident,

I've been trying to imagine how it could come to pass that Bunny started reading a Rush Limbaugh book by accident. Finally, I arrived at this hypothetical, but let's substitute Ann Coulter just for giggles. Let's say Bunny is at the Borders. Let's say that Bunny is on a book-buying binge. She is lugging around one of those baskets, and she is loaded down with books about knitting, self-help books (because she never learns), a cookbook, maybe a novel, probably a collection of Suduko puzzles, a trashy magazine or two, a travel guide, etc. The basket is heavy, and the wire handles are cutting into her little hands. The Man should be around here somewhere performing Pack Mule duties, but he is absorbed in the history section and is ignoring Bunny. Bunny makes her way towards the cash registers and passes a stack of new-release Ann Coulters. But Bunny is clumsy. She trips over the long trailing end of her scarf and stumbles, falling and simultaneously knocking over some of the Ann Coulters. One of the Ann Coulters does a triple-lindy and falls open, face-up on the floor just before Bunny's face slams down, eyes on the page. This is the only circumstance I can imagine coming across such a book in the open, reading position. If this were to happen to me, the laws of Bunny Planet do not require me to purchase the book and read it to the end. Without mens rea, it doesn't count as reading.

That's right. Latin. I bet you thought I wasn't a real lawyer.

(Please don't ask me to remember any other Latin.)

6) To the other potty mouth,

"Douchetard?" Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?