Dirtbunny's Cold, Day 60

Another sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, but no fever, why God why day Chez Nous. Yesterday, my boss informed me that he could hear me coughing two doors down with the doors closed and maybe I should go home. So I did, but not before stopping to get some new over-the-counter cold stuff. Everyone says Try Mucinex, so I did. And I also looked for candied cherries for my holiday baking, since I was there anyway, and The Man would probably not cotton to looking for the special holiday display at an unfamiliar store for obscure seasonal baking products. But all they had were green. So I got my Mucinex and went home and worked on a sock for my Daddy and fell asleep then woke up and watched Juventus until the DVR ate the last 20 minutes of the match and then I went to sleep again, only Kirby did not stay in his dog bed and decided to sleep on my neck all night.




But today I woke up with less system-clogging snot and fewer phlegm globs in my throat, so I drank some coffee and ate some Cheerios and put in a full day at the home office, where I spent most of the day making little corrections to a memo, then erasing the corrections, then putting them back in, then fretting about them, then saying what the hell no one cares anyway, then deciding I want it to be good so going back to fretting. Long story short, I didn't make a lot of changes, but it took me all day to do what I did.




It has been an interesting few days. The Old Folks brought me Thanksgiving at my house so I didn't have to leave and I didn't have to cook and I could devote all my energy to worrying about GK and his tumor removal surgery. Special Sweetheart slept for about a day and then, once the turkey came out of the oven, he woke up and he's been pretty much his ole self ever since. His boo-boo is a little itchy and he isn't supposed to lick it. If I catch him at it, I say "No lick" and he nearly always stops. If he really, really can't help himself, I show him the e-collar that he has to wear if he can't stop licking, and that puts an end to it. He is such a good good boy.


Here is his leg after the biopsy but before the mass was removed. The growth was about the size of an egg and reportedly looked like a little brain.





And here he is post-tumor removal, before he got his little bandage off.







As soon as the Old Folks left, my head filled up with snot. This is not good. I have a holiday to plan, after all, and I never really got over the last cold. The Man doesn't register that it's Christmastime until about December 23, so it's up to me. Only I'm sick (again) and on unofficial House Arrest until The Man deems me healthy enough to face the world. Not really, but he secretly suspects that I'm doing something to make myself sick just to add to his stress and fuck with him. If he catches me at any Christmas stuff that is more effort than pointing and clicking, I'm in big trouble.




So I'm doing stealth holiday planning. Step one is to decide on what decorations we are going to have, get what we need that we don't have already, and put them up without involving The Man. That sounds hard. Let's come back to that later.



Step two is food. What holiday baking will I be doing this year? That sounds hard too. I need a nap. Maybe Warden The Man isn't completely out to lunch.


OK--step three. Step three is, given that I know that certain Christmas treats are non-negotiable, obtain ingredients for making same. To render that idea in as few words as possible, find and purchase candied cherries. And that's where I started with this post.


Candied fruit slices are the one, the only, the single, non-negotiable Christmas item, and candied cherries are required. [Proof: The Man just came home, saw the stack of candied cherries, and said "Oooh! Candied Fruit Slices!"] Since they are not organic, not all-natural, and in fact are probably contaminated with some sort of radioactive isotope (how else do you explain that color?) they are not to be had at the Fresh Fields. I can send The Man to the Fresh Fields with a grocery list, and he can get groceries as competently as anyone. I cannot send The Man out with instructions to find candied cherries, because I never know from year to year where I will find them because apparently no one bakes any more. He is not going on a Northern Virginia grocery store slog for something obscure that he may never find. It's not a job for volunteers. It's a job for Dirtbunny.




So, a few days ago, when I went for some unauthorized yarn therapy, I checked at the grocery store in the same strip mall. No dice, although they did have plenty of cheap plastic cookie cutters.


Then yesterday, I found some green ones when I got the Mucinex. But no red. Green without red would not be right. I need both. This is Christmas goddamn it! (That probably made the Baby Jesus cry, but I think that grown-up Jesus would find it funny. Jesus is cool, not uptight. But I digress.)


Today, after work, I tried the Glutton Place. They have come through for me before. Not this time, although they had lots and lots of gourmet pancake mix. Are pancakes really so hard that people need a mix? I don't get it.



So then I tried one of the Safeways. After losing a parking space and nearly getting killed by an oblivious Mercury Sable-driving cell-phone yakking creep, I went in and found........many, many disposable foil baking pans, and mint sauce in a jar (yuck) but no candied cherries. And so I headed home.


On the way home, I thought, by the time I get there, it will be too dark to work on project Hermes because I don't have a decent lamp at my desk for close-up no-glasses work. So what the hell, I'll try the Other Safeway. They have a new section with supposedly organic house brand food (I'm dubious) but no candied cherries. I think about getting a Starbucks at the in-store kiosk, but I'm too depressed. I leave.



As I'm pulling out of the parking lot, I decide that this is ridiculous. Exactly what is wrong with all-green candied fruit slices anyway? What kind of citizen puts fifty miles on the car looking for red candied cherries when there are plenty of green ones to be had? Am I a liberal earth-loving person or a hypocrite? OK, I'm a hypocrite, I don't do nearly enough to be green, but am I OK with the Hunt for Red Candied Cherries? No. I am not. I will settle for green and I will embrace the imperfection of life. So I go across the street to the HT, where I bought the Mucinex and saw the green cherries. OK, trouble getting a space. Why is everyone at the store today? It's only December 3 for crying out loud! I get a space in the garage. I ride the elevator up to the store, and I stomp down the aisle towards the green cherries not exactly settled on the idea that green-only is acceptable. Maybe I'll get green while I can and keep looking for the red. No! Bad Bunny! What is wrong with you! Get the goddamned green cherries and move on to something important!




Sniff. I'll come around. It'll be OK. I can deal with green cherries. I'm a big girl and I have lots of yarn and beagles waiting for me at home.



Green cherries it is. And there they are.




But wait!




Could it be?



It IS!




THEY HAVE RED CHERRIES TODAY! YESTERDAY GREEN ONLY BUT TODAY RED AND GREEN! JESUS LOVES ME! THERE WILL BE A REAL CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL!






I got extra just in case.