Alessa and Rino want you to Mangia your Arancias

So cancer is bad, mmmkay? Do what you can to prevent cancer by eating a healthy diet rich in vitamin C which you just happen to be able to get from delicious Italian oranges.


[looks like a dork in sweater vest]

[does not look like a dork, except for the stickers. what happened to the hair?]

[The Man, by the way, looks collegiate and handsome in a sweater vest.]

[American oranges also have vitamin C]

Enough of that. In non-Serie A, non-Azzurri futbol action, little makes Dirtbunny happier than watching Chelsea go down. Dirtbunny hates Chelsea (except for Deco, who apparently also hates Chelsea. And except for Petr Cech. But what's he gonna do? Play in the Czech Republic?). This weekend, Chelsea went down. At the hands of Liverpool. Courtesy of one El Nino, who got two at the very very end of the game. Because he was the only thing bringing Dirtbunny any futbol joy, he gets the next call up to FC Dirtbunny.

Ladies and Gentlemen (Hi Daddy!), I bring you Liverpool striker and Spanish international Fernando Torres. Here is his first goal, a lovely header right past poor Petr Cech, who never had a chance, bless his helmeted head:

And here is his second goal.

And here he is being very very happy.

He's a pretty, pretty boy.

And I do mean boy. Here he is next to a man, in case you were wondering if I know the difference.

Gigi is always with the giving of the love to opposing strikers. In American sports, the most you ever see is a butt-slap or a fist bump. The fist bump of non-gay American manliness. In Europe, there are hugs, kisses, and caresses, oh my! [fans self]