Dirtbunny Hates Valentine's Day

Hate Hate Hate it. Always have. They jack the price of flowers up temporarily. More obnoxious "He went to Jareds!" jewelry ads. Basically, a whole marketing industry plot to make single people feel bad and make non-single people wonder if there's something wrong with them for not feeling compelled to buy diamonds, roses, bad chocolates in heart-shaped bozes, cheap teddy bears with heinous slogans, creepy mylar balloons, etc. Ick. If The Man ever shows up with a teddy bear wearing an "I WUV U" t-shirt, he can hit the road. Fortunately, he knows that, so he is safe and all is well.

We don't normally do VD (see? even the name!), but this year, The Man has decided to "show his affection" for me by making dinner: Coq au Vin. I am showing my affection for him by helping him with the shopping, explaining what certain things in the recipe mean, prepping the pearl onions, and putting the parsley into a nice chiffonade, and then backing the hell off. If it were me, I'd improvise that recipe all to pieces, but he's not that kind of cook, so I'm not kibbutzing. And that is my gift to him.

So. Love Stinks. We all know that. Well, almost all of us. Some people still believe. And in honor of that (and because I know you're all wondering when I'm just going to get around to it for crying out loud), it's time (past time, probably) to call up to FC Dirtbunny the one the only Gianluigi Buffon, goalkeeper supreme for the Bianconeri and gli Azzurri, and internationally-recognized fool for love.

He was resplendent in his purple kit last weekend against Catania. I wish I had a photo to show you.

When it's time to work, he's all business. See? Working. No time for playing with Iker Casillas. He's tough. But he's also tender. He has love for the guys on the other team.

[Gigi and Fiorentina/Romania striker Adrian Mutu]

[Gigi and Zinedine Zidane]

[Gigi and some Spanish guy, maybe David Villa, who just missed]

[Gigi and Thierry Henry]

[Clearly, Gigi is the dominant one in this pair.]

[Do you think they are using tongues?]

[Never in American sports. Never, I tell you.]

Gigi also loves his fellow goalkeepers.

[Gigi and Fabien Barthez]

[Gigi and Julio Cesar]

Gigi loves the guys on his own team too.

[Gigi and fellow Bianconeri/Azzurri Camoranesi]

[Gigi and fellow Bianconeri/Azzurri Gio Chiellini]

[Gigi and fellow Azzurri Daniele De Rossi]

[Gigi and fellow Azzurri Luca Toni, the only Azzurri bigger than Gigi]

[Gigi and fellow Azzurri Andrea Pirlo, with Azzurri Alberto Gilardino in the background]

[Gigi and fellow Azzurri Marco Amelia and Simone Perrotta]

[Gigi and Protz again]

[Gigi and fellow Azzurri Fabio Grosso]

But most of all, Gigi loves Fabio Cannavaro.

A lot.

Lots and lots.

Ever since the Olden Days when Cannavaro grew out his hair.

It's mutual, by the way, in case you couldn't tell from Cannavaro's big smile.

So. Dirtbunny's ode to love.

aaaaaaand, I think The Man is done crisping the bacon, because They Boys have left the kitchen and are now gracing me with their presence.