Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Old Lady Post: Coppa coppa Cáceres

Originally posted on February 4, 2012


JUVENTUS 3:0 ROMA
Come with me if you will to January 24, to the Coppa match against scary A.S. Roma.  The Giallorossi had just come off a 5-1 pounding of lowly Cesena whereas the Zebes were worried that their non-losing streak might come to an end.  Some of us hoped that we might see some lost boys in the line-up, given that it was a Coppa match.  However, Bunny favorites Vincenzo and the Green-Eyed Gorilla of Love were nowhere to be seen in any of the photos of the January training sessions, so it looked unlikely that either would appear.   Would Conte play to win?

Of course he would.  Conte plays to win every effing match.  It's the only way to maintain the proper grinta.

Before we dive in, let's consider this photo:


If it's January 2010, I think we all look at the smirk and the wink and think eeewwwwww.  But this is 2012, and we all love him now, and his creepy facial expressions are no longer all that upsetting.  Go figure.






Is everyone still loving the new stadium?




Luis Enrique has been bullied into keeping his captain in the line-up and Conte has to play Alessa at least a little in his last season, so both legends started.



Is it true?  Do they really hate each other?  Can you tell?  Fra seems to be looking off into the distance, but that's normal for him.



Mr. Banti wants Alessa really really bad.  Alessa, obliviously, helps Fra with the hand-off so he doesn't drop the doofy little flags.




Obligatory hug.  Fra's mind, such as it is, is obviously elsewhere.




Cooties.



Alessa flees while Fra can't quite let go, even though his mind is clearly empty.  Except for "boobies."  Boobies never go away.


boobies

Gigi spent the match up in the tribuna with Alena and her cell phone, so Marcostorari got a start in goal.



Ya know, he's indecently good, especially for a number two.



We are so lucky to have him.





Halfway through the season, I'm finally starting to adjust to the new keeper kits.  I still think Nike can do better.



That's right.  Barzagli started yet again, because he is indispensable.  And, as far as the press in concerned, invisible.  Say bye bye to Barza.  The photogs did.


Fra's saggy socks do nothing for me.

Don't get too attached to Bonucci, either.



Or Giorgio.




Oops.  I'm a little excited so forgive me for getting ahead of myself.



Gio was his BAMF self.

Don't worry about Bojan.  As a former Barcelonian, he's trained to put on a show whenever approached by an opponent.


plz to avert eyes from growing bald spot




Don't think Gio didn't pay for his vigorous defending.  He pulled Lamela down, and Lamela retaliated by kicking out at Gio's boys.



Lamela got sent off.  I'm beginning to better understand why Osvaldo punched him in the face.


Gago: Great.  Just great.  Two goals down, twenty minutes to go, and now we get to come back with ten men.  Moron.

Lamela was probably lucky to get sent off.  The BUM is getting more and more demented in recent weeks, and he looks here like he might have ripped Lamela's leg off and eaten it if he had the chance.



aww  *pats him*  at least you're away from Pepe, sweetheart



Look at BUM's face.  I'm telling you.  He's been on his good behavior, but the strain is wearing on him and he's starting to decompensate.  If only the Zebes had a decent back-up for the right back slot so the BUM could get a day off once in a while........




I'm watching Man City and Fulham play in the snow right now.  Mancini's hair is really suffering.



Estigarribia started on the left wing.  He got a yellow pretty early on, but he kept it together and finished the match nicely.



He's got a pretty wicked shot, but he needs to work on his finishing.



Luca Marrone got a whole 90 minutes.  Claudio and Vidal got a day of rest.



Pirlo did what he does.



Getting a little tired.



Maybe there's time for a power nap.



This brings us to Giaccherini, the little dynamo who's been on a real tear.



What is Gabi Heinze doing with his tongue?



The busy little pipsqueak opened it up with an early goal in the 6th minute.







Stekelenberg wills the ball to roll wide, to no avail.



We seem to be getting a wee bit smug.




rawr






Il Capitano made it over for the hugz.  Also, Borriello, who is either fitting in pretty nicely or is trying desperately to fit in.







Giach makes ADP look tall.  (ADP must wear lifts in his boots.)



Ah, yes.  Borriello.





Why in the hell he gets a chance, much less a start, and Iaquinta can't is beyond me.







He's not quite ready.  He's had little playing time this season, and it shows.



He's still pretty, and I'm not just saying that because Taddei looks like a chimp.



I hope his hair choices carry little influence on the team bus.  Really, though, there aren't many sheep among the zebes any more, except for Pepe, or course.



Remember the old days when he didn't wear the compression shorts and we all got a good look at his ass every match?



Borri and Gabi.



Roma really worked to shut him down.





And they succeeded.



Oh yeah.  Kjaer is back.



What, did he not like the Bundesliga?



aHA!  His roots are showing.  J'accuse!



Not working for him.  Sorry dude.  Keep putting that ointment on your sores and maybe you'll get your mojo back.



Borriello isn't the only one who's been on an interminable drought, the kind that makes you wonder if it could possibly be over.



It's not.



Gago and ADP together.  They'd make a scrumptious sandwich.





ADP is not going to give up his free kick duties just because Pirlo's on the pitch.  Pirlo defers completely to the master and he goes off to guard the post, cos Pirlo has grace and class too.





In the 30th, the zebes sent the ball forward to Borriello, who passed it back to the captain.   ADP took an ugly shot that Taddei managed to block, but then Alessa got the rebound and made a lovely, curling right-footed shot that just, just squeaked into the top right-hand corner.  Stekelenberg had no chance.



Kjaer failed to give the old man proper respect and allowed him too much space.





Aw yeeah!












Heinze:  WTF?  I thought he was done.



Alessa was overjoyed.  The whole fucking squad was fucking overjoyed.  Giach looks happier for ADP than he did at his own goal.





The tongue, of course, and the playful glee of a little boy.



Andrea was thrilled.  Look at that!   JOY!   ♥



When's the last time you saw Zlatan look that happy when he scored a goal?



*sniffle*



Wha?



Victory jump!  Look how high the old guy can get! (please not to hurt the knees on the landing)





And the calvary arrives.



Um, including Marcostorari, who came all the way down from the opposite goal.










This whole thing is just melting my heart.  His squad loves him.



He went out in the 77th for Quags.



Hm.  I would've liked to see a little more from the mister.  Anyway...



Who is that masked man?



Quags has to wear the mask a little longer until his broken face heals.



I really squishes up his face and makes him look grotesque, but it goes back to normal when he takes it off.



He may not have come on until nearly the end of the match, but that doesn't mean he didn't want to get a goal for himself.










He had one particularly good chance.



Close...



...but no cigar.  Oh well.


Ale Matri replaced Borriello in the 66th or so.



He came so close to a goal.  So close.  And he might have gotten one to, except.....



....Kjaer got a toe on it.



OWN GOAL!  HA!



Normally, I have a fair amount of pity for the scorers of own goals.



Remember poor Kaladze scoring 2 OGs in Georgia v Azzurri?  Ouch.



Not so much this time.  OWN GOAL!  *taunts*



It was probably going in anyway.



Stekelenburg has already turned away in disgust.  And Matri's reaction is more "hee!" than "I AM THE GREATEST!" which is appropriate.



MS:  haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate



The celebration wasn't overly ostentatious, which was right and fitting.








Matri has a beautiful smile.



Yeah.  Krasic got about two minutes at the very end.   Long enough to get carded anyway.



So that was the Coppa round-of-eight match against A.S. Roma, which came to Turin without its mojo (and without DDR).



The guys milled around and patted each other, and then they did the big jump.


Fucking Milos.  You are not going to ruin everyone else's fun.


Note to Milos's agent:  the Russian transfer window is still open.  Stop acting a tit by claiming that Chelsea wants him, and get out while he still has a little dignity.




What happened to Leo's shirt?




And now the shirt is back on.





Yayz!



Yayz!





Yayz!

Let's finish with a summary of the Juventus winter mercato.



Out
Sorensen to Bologna on co-ownership
Loooca to Al Nasr in Dubai *sob*
Vincenzo to Cesena on loan *sob sob*
Pazienza to Udinese on loan
Marco Motta to Catania on loan

In



Simone Padoin, a middle-aged midfielder/left back from Atalanta




Good ole Marco "Crusty Crotch"  Borriello on loan from Roma




Martin Cáceres on loan from Sevilla.





Those cheekbones!




Those shoulders and arms!  (Although we have learned from Marco Motta that lovely guns are not enough.)



The steely gaze.



The BUM will at last get a day off once in a while, and there will be rawr and maybe when it gets warm, he'll take his shirt off.



Hey babyI



How youse doin' ladies?



And he only tries a little to hide his smirk when he hears media BS.




Happy!



Gigi's happy too, so everyone is happy.


Next match is tomorrow, home to Siena.  Here are the call-ups:
1 Buffon
3 Chiellini
4 Caceres
7 Pepe
8 Marchisio
10 Del Piero
11 De Ceglie
13 Manninger
14 Vucinic
15 Barzagli
17 Elia
18 Quagliarella
19 Bonucci
20 Padoin
21 Pirlo
22 Vidal
23 Borriello
24 Giaccherini
26 Lichtsteiner
28 Estigarribia
30 Storari
32 Matri
34 Marrone

OMG!  I forgot that Amauri left!  Yeah, well, he did, for Fiorentina (poor bastards) and not a moment too soon.  Seems like the memory of Amauri was so horrible that my brain wiped it completely out.  Awesome!

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