A long, long time ago, in a place far, far away from Bunny's house, there were two tribes of zebras who met in battle on a wet, snowy day to decide which zebras were the most awesome. What actually happened on that day has now passed into legend as there is no one left who is alive to remember. However, there is some mention in church records that the battle was won by the Zebras of the West and that they were led by a strange Matri!beast with flowing brown hair and a strange star on his chest.
Historians, however, have recently discovered some strange etchings on a ruin in an abandoned town in southwest Lombardia. After carefully removing millennia of dirt and grime, they have uncovered a single, crucial word that gives the etchings meaning: Matri. It is widely accepted among academics that this important finding is indeed a contemporaneous record of the largely forgotten battle between zebra and zebra. For the first time ever, copies of the mysterious images have been made available for public viewing.
Historians, however, have recently discovered some strange etchings on a ruin in an abandoned town in southwest Lombardia. After carefully removing millennia of dirt and grime, they have uncovered a single, crucial word that gives the etchings meaning: Matri. It is widely accepted among academics that this important finding is indeed a contemporaneous record of the largely forgotten battle between zebra and zebra. For the first time ever, copies of the mysterious images have been made available for public viewing.
Juventus 2:1 Udinese
OK, so I can't keep that up, but the match did happen so long ago that I don't remember anything except Win! and Snow!
BUM has slowly been losing it over the past week weeks. It can't be long before he pulls one of his psycho things that he does.
Claudio's steely determination.
I love snow.
I wonder how much product it takes to keep the hairz up when it's wet outside. If it's my hair, then the answer is "there's not enough product in the universe."
Three things I like about Andrea right now: His plain shoes. His ring finger tattoo. His tanned (!) knees.
His hair stays bouncy and flowy in the snow.
Hey there, Samir.
First look at Quags's right arm disappearing up to the elbow. Then look at Gelson Fernandes's expression of surprise. I know I'm not the only one who's thinking it.
It's true. Matri was a beast and scored two.
He did his Super Secret Selebration instead of the weird surfing thing from a few weeks ago.
Ummm, Matri looks like he could be a bit happier here.
Yeah, Leo. As if you had much to do with it. And don't be late for dinner.
After that, the Zebes traveled to Parma, where their match was snowed out. It's rescheduled for Wednesday.
After that, The Zebes were home to more zebras, from Siena this time.
Juventus 0:0 Siena
Um, this was a boring and disappointing one. As usual, I remember very little. One thing I know for sure, however...
Mirketto was dire. I mean seriously bad. Conte left him on the pitch for far too long.
When Conte finally subbed in Borriello, he was tragic as well.
So Marco tried to make up for his fail by baiting the ref. Despite his insanely tender years, Mr. Peruzzo didn't bite.
While taller strikers were on the pitch exploring the limits of Suck (hint: Suck has no limits), my boyfriend spent the match, as usual, in the stands.
Lichtsteiner is starting to come unglued.
Paolino is starting to get his form back, which is bad news for Bonucci.
This guy, whoever the fuck he is, had the match of his life. *sigh* Unknown keepers from second-rate teams are not supposed to be able to stop the mighty Zebes.
The refereeing was bad, but I don't remember exactly what he did wrong.
Gigi gave the ref a little talking-to after the match. For some reason, I think the reffing was bad all over that weekend, but I've blocked it all out now.
By the way, how cold is it in northern Italy?
it's so cold in northern Italy that Keyser Giorgio, Giorgio of the Jungle, our sweet Gio, is training in tights like a pussy.
Milos is still here, in case you were wondering.
El Pelado is hanging with the cool kids, of which he is certainly one. Meanwhile, Vidal has started brooding about how he thought he was the cute brown one. To which I say, Aw honey, you're very cute. And here's the part I don't say: But Martin is smokin' hot. Mamma Mia!
(Oh dear. I'm watching a replay of Inter-Novara and Caracciolo has just scored. Martha must be spitting nails. *pats her*)
So that's it for the other zebra-stripey squads. Perhaps now we can get back to kit selections that makes sense.
1 comment:
Just what are you thinking?
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