Old Lady Post: Bring Me a Man Who Can Finish

Juventus 1:1 Fiorentina



That was an exciting match that shouldn't have been so damn exciting. Viola went up first, Juventus could not crack Viola's broken and bleeding defense, Viola's problems got so bad that they had to send in Felipe, Juve got an equaliser on a fluke free kick by.... I don't know if I can say it....Pepe, Felipe the terrible defender got sent off, and even against 10 men, Juve could fling the ball at the hole over and over without getting it to go in. Artur was unholy good, but it wasn't just Artur's Faustian bargain amazing form that was responsible. At least some of the problem was zebra-fail, pure and simple. I love Viola. They're my second team. I like it when they do well. But daggone it, I'm Juventina first and I am not happy about this.

Old Lady Post: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON NOVEMBER 6, 2010




Juventus 0:0 Salzburg

In many other team sports--especially from an American point of view--a zero-zero result is unacceptable.  It means that nothing happened and no one won.  In a country entrenched in the Winners &  Losers construct, it is intolerable not to have a winner.  How can there be a tie draw?  It's as unthinkable as shaking hands and agreeing to disagree.  This is a very Manichaean sort of place, even if most of us don't know what that means and like to make fun of the pointy-headed brainiac Sheldonians who do.   Football teaches us that a nuthin-nuthin tie  nil-nil draw can be not only be a just and appropriate result among well-matched opponents, it can also reflect a humdinger of an exciting match.

But not this one.  It was so dull that I couldn't find anything worth writing down in my notes.  Here's the upshot:  Most of the seniors are either broken or cup-tied; the babies are still babies; you can't play old guys twice a week all year long and expect world-class performances every night; Amauri will never be a trequartista; and even if the zebes win their last two matches, they may not make it out of group stage.  My friends, the situation in Europe is dire.

Old Lady Post: Needs More Frog

Genoa 0:2 Juventus

I know.  It was forever ago and the next match against Mighty Marco and the Bleeding Violas starts in about half an hour.  Do you want to see the pictures or not?

Okay then.




Don't mess with the sacred Sunday lunch or Italians will protest vehemently.  Seriously.  Google Translate isn't helping me much here, but I'm an American, and we Americans know that when you see the words "family," "children," and "sin" together, somebody is mighty pissed off.


I barely even remember this game, so let's mainly just stick with the photos.

Old Lady Post: Garlic Can Wait \\\o///

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 18, 2010

Yeah, it was a trip in the box.  Suck it up.


So the team that dresses like fast-food hamburger peddlers from the early 1970s came to Turin.  (Dudes, I did a Google image search on this and I swear to God I ended up with an image of David Beckham in a crew cut.)


There was all kinds of awesome.  Choose your flavor:



 

 spicy?



Sweet? 

The Hairz were there

Old Lady Post: Exceeding Expectations at the San Siro

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 11, 2010

 
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.  Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.




What?  Juventus didn't get utterly clobbered?  Juventus kept a clean sheet?   But, I thought..... weren't they......Sammy......?  Whatever.  A null-null draw against Inter in Milan.  I'll take it.  Hell, yes, I'll take it and a side order of gloating too.

Old Lady Post: Zebras in Manchester

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 2, 2010

yup.  that's pretty much how I feel about it.


I'd like to start with a Public Service Announcement from the Moron Network:

If you are trying not to find out the score from a football match you have not yet seen,  STAY OFF FOOTBALL SITES ON THE INTERWEBS.


I've fallen into this trap before,but I never learn.  I think I would have enjoyed that match much much more if I hadn't known the result in advance. There was a lot of action and some suspense and it ended in a nail-biting 1-1 draw.  This is a good thing.  Man City is a good team side, and a point against Man City away is a very nice thing to have.  The Citizens took advantage of the Bianconeri's one serious defensive break and ADP knocked a free kick off the crossbar late and, well, that was probably a winnable game match.  I would be happier with a win.


I'll try womanfully to accentuate the positive.

Well. That's Finished.

Many, many, many months ago, I got out my five skeins of alpaca laceweight and my Folk Shawls by Cheryl Oberle and I cast on for a big square shawl in a simple grid pattern and I knit about an inch or so before I noticed that my eyelets were not lining up properly.   I decided I was hopelessly lost so I ripped the whole thing out and started over.  I did some math and decided where it made the most sense to me to put stitch markers so I wouldn't get lost again (surprise!  they did not align with the printed pattern repeats).  The slow rows required my full attention, glasses off, and took about 20 minutes.  The fast rows required only a minimal amount of attention--just one step up from mindless monkey knitting--and took about 8 minutes.  The medium rows required medium attention, glasses on, and took about 12 minutes.  The glasses off bits meant this was not TV knitting.  The pattern was simple, once I marked it off properly, and somewhere between 450 and 500 rows later, i.e. Friday, it was done:  the Box Lace Shawl.


I remember when it was still a baby.....

Old Lady Post: Hellooooooooooo Milos!

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 1, 2010

I HAVE NOT YET SEEN MAN CITY--JUVENTUS.
I WON'T UNTIL FRIDAY, 8:00PM EDT.
PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED. 

Never mind.  Dirtbunny blew it all by herself.



Whew.  It is New Years Day for my employer, which means the last week has been ridiculous and that puts me way behind on everything I can't earn money doing.  So I'm sorry.  :(

But I'm here now, and I don't remember much and my notes are indecipherable, but you know what we're going to talk about:

OMG  MILOS KRASIC!






I must admit that I was pretty damn nervous.  Juve can beat the Sardines on paper, but Juve can beat Bari and Palermo on paper too.  I have to admit that after Anime Vargas  Matri got his goal, I was so despondent I had to retire to my boudoir for a sulk.  It took me two days to get through it.

So, shall we then?

Bunny Baking Project

Those Nut Crescent Cookies are also good with their powdered sugar coating:

I really don't see why I ever need to try another recipe for these.  The hardest part was chopping the pecans.  (You can't use the food processor because pecans are relatively oily and the food processor will start turning them into pecan butter before all of the pieces are as small as they're supposed to be.)

Clown pants

I work at home a lot.  My job is pretty much reading, thinking, and writing, and I can do that better at home  where there are fewer external distractions.  There still are some, but they're good:  a view of trees, a squirrel eating my tulip bulbs, children getting out of school, the changing light as the sun passes overhead.
I've got my stuff and my comfortable chairs and I can cook for lunch instead of reheating stuff or buying a grease bomb from down the street.  There is color on the walls here.  The rugs are nice.  It smells better (mostly--depends on Tiki).  If I want fresh air, I can open a window.  If I want music, I can play whatever I want as loud as I want.  I've got my dogs with me and I can hear them breathing/snoring, and feel Kirby's fur on my feet (he's clingy.  Tiki likes his space.)

I've got the best of the offices allotted to widget monkeys like me and I like my office.  But the external distractions are more numerous and more irritating:  loud hallway conversations, a neighbor's excessive perfume, the smell of another neighbor's laundry detergent, the churning grind of the ventilation unit, the paper jamming in the shared printer outside my office door (it's a piece of crap; we've been begging for a new one for several years), people fussing with the printer to clear the paper jam, the IT guys fiddling with the printer and devising a short-term solution but not solving the real problem (i.e., the printer is a piece of shit), the sound of sirens in the street, the picket line chanting in front of my building (some people don't like the landlord's business practices), demonstrations in front of the American Enterprise Institute down the street (some people don't like Dick Cheney or Karl Rove).  The walls are boring and the lighting is bad and the ventilation is OK but not good enough for my particular sensibilities and the carpet is grubby.  Etc.

Old Lady Mini-Post: Back to Normal

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 24, 2010

 Must I?  I suppose I must.  Juve lost at home to Palermo 1-3.  The Bianconceri looked tired going in, gave up a goal in the second minute, and looked even more tired after that.  Mr. Orsato made a couple of crap calls during the first half, and the zebes got demoralized and never really came back.  Like all of last year, they gave up.



This about sums it up.


Alessa got another start and had some good shots,  but he looked slow and exhausted and went off at about the 60th.  And he brought his real-life pregnant wife who I am sure is a very nice person and this always makes me upset because it confronts my denial.

Milos and Melo kept working until the bitter end, long after everyone else stopped bothering to make runs or get on the ends of passes.
Pepe was terrible, and repeatedly gave the ball away by passing to no one, as usual.  One encouraging sign is that Of Blacks took him off at the half and--get this--tried something different.  It didn't help, but at least he tried.  Amauri, Iaquinta, and Aquilani all came in as subs.
Amauri and Vinenzo put in decent efforts and Vince actually got a goal late in the match, but Aquilani looked worn out, and he has no reason to be tired so he must be either not fit or lazy.  All in all, I despair.

Butter + Nuts + Sugar = Love

I'm home today because of an optometry appointment, and I embarked on the Nut Crescent Cookies (I chose pecans) from here:

...and if you could smell my house right now, you would die.  OMG.  I am a genius.  Ooh.  Time to pull them out of the oven.  BRB  

Jesus Mary and Joseph.  They are awesome even without their coating of powdered sugar.  I am a goddess.


P.S.  I found cherries.  Not at any of the good stores.  At the crappiest outlet of the crappiest store.  Motto:  Never Give Up.

Old Lady Mini-Post: Half-Assed Beach Edition

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 20, 2010


Last week, we had a Europa League Claudio deficit.  This week,  we have plenty of Claudio, some as you've never seen him before and never will again, I hope.

Now study carefully, because there will be a quiz later:

Question:  What the FUCK is that boy doing?   (Extra credit question: How many coolness points does he lose for doing it?)

It is true.  At last, Juventus got a league victory, in an away match no less, against lowly Udinese.  Not only a victory, but a 0-4 plastering.  Better still (this is the part none of you care about), through the miracle of modern wireless internet access,  I was able to watch the match whilst 250 miles away from home (that's 400-ish km) enjoying a well-deserved beach vacation (that's "holiday").  None of my friends IRL understand this, but I know you all do:  I love football so much that I will happily spend a little of my vacation time watching football while hiding from My Enemy, The Sun.  I love you guise!    OK, but I'm not going to spend all day making a picspam masterpiece.  But I am willing to plop together a vaguely organized collection of match photos, light on the commentary and heavy on the squee.  

Old Lady Post: Best Point Ever

 Juventus 1:1 Roma



Giorgio came to play.

The match ended in a draw, and not every moment shone with footballing excellence, but I didn't get to the end thinking that the boys had blown it.  They played hard, they played well, and they have every reason to be proud of what they accomplished, whatever the result.  Albertino played better than I have ever seen him, Sorensen was impressive, Pepe showed me why coaches love him, and Chiellini was fucking awesome.  He gets this week's Most Likely to Get Laid award.  The line queue starts over to the left.

Old Lady Post: Whatever in Europe

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 17, 2010


Warning:  My space bar is on the blink.  I'm trying to catch them all, but I just found a "but then" that came out "butt hen," so please read generously.


It's happening again.  Another horrid start marked by defensive fail, a brief rally and a few goals attributable to the other team's horrid defense,  a moment of brilliance to make pride and joy swell in your heart, a long and tense slog to the final whistle, and conceding a goal in extra time to finish in a 3-3 draw.  Lucky me:  I got the Ray Hudson edition, which means I got to listen to him give his two-years-out-of-date Juventus information, refer to my pretend boyfriend as "Little Alex" as though he was a shih-tzu or something, and to hear his broadcast partner Phil Schoen mangle Italian pronunciations.  Have you met our leftback, Dee Shegglee?

It's the matches like this that are the killers for me.  You can see that they have it in them if only they could keep their concentration for the whole game.  You think maybe they'll pull it off,  maybe, but then you see the laziness and complacency start to show and then, well, the fail comes.

Sinisa's not the only one who could use a decent tailor.

I couldn't figure out how to download some of the best stuff, but there's still plenty to see right this way.....

Old Lady Mini-Post: Coulda Been Worse

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON NOVEMBER 12, 2010




 Brescia 1:1 Juventus



All I have to say is the Bianconeri are damn lucky that Brescia can't finish.  Juve had nothing out wide on either side, Brescia had a few key saves, and the forwards had little service to work with.  Someone(s) needs to wake up fast or i Giallorossi is going to walk away with the next one.

Old Lady Post: Three Points. Whew.

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 10, 2010

Juventus 3:1 Cesena




<3

It started out the same as it did last season.  Juve faces an inferior team, looks listless and uninspired, and gives up the lead early.  What makes this different is that Juve fought through the ennui and pulled out a win.  There were times when it didn't feel like it was going to turn out that way, but it did.  The Bianconeri have moved up to fourth in the table, four points back from Lazio (ty Roma).

Old Lady Post: A Point! Woohoo!

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 13, 2010



Everyone says that was a rip-roarin', hootin'-tootin' fabulously excitin' match for the ages.  Perhaps it was.  All I know is this:  I was watching the match with Mr. D and our good friend Jose Cuervo and I was feeling pretty good about things and then I looked up to see how much time was left and saw we were only at minute 59.

And a great shadow of "Oh, shit" fell across the Dirtbunny household.



Pros:

• Zebra goal drought is over
• No one sustained a major injury
• Pepe showed that he is not completely useless, not all the time.
   

Cons:

• There are problems in the fullback area that go beyond Marcolino keeping his arms covered. 
• It is a good idea to have a center striker even if you have awesome second strikers
• So far, Albertino is still Albertino 

Shall we, then?

Old Lady Post: We don't need no stinkin' center striker

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 1, 2010

This post has nothing to do with Claudio.



This is a Juventus calciomercato post.

Old Lady Post: Well. That Was Worth Waiting For

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 30, 2010 

Are you there, God?  It's me, Fabio.  No, the other Fabio.  Fabio Quagliarella.



If you saw the match or read the reports, you don't need me to tell you that the Bari match was one big puddle of meh.  ADP had to play too deep to be effective as a striker, Quags had a couple of shots that didn't work, Gio missed a perfect opportunity to head the ball in, the mids had trouble keeping possession, Lanza spent more time trying to kill pigeons  in the stands behind the goal than he did aiming for the goal itself, and Martinez and Claudio got hurt.

"Wait a minute.  Did you say Quags?"

Yes, I did, but more on that later.

Dogs Hate Daylight Savings Time

Their tummies say, "It's suppertime."  Their eyes say, "It's getting dark.  It's suppertime."  Their humans say, "It's only 5 o'clock.  It's not suppertime."  Their tiny little brains reply, "Then why are you in the kitchen messing with stuff that smells like food?"  Their Bunny says, "I'm always in the kitchen messing with food, at least when I'm not taking a nap."  They say "Gimme some.  NOW."  Bunny's feet say "Scoot."  And no supper is forthcoming.  And you can't reason with them that it's only once a year because they don't remember for one and for two they find no comfort in that.  

I woke up at 7:00 today, only it was really 6:00, and I celebrated being up by watching football.  Viola--Donkeys were live online at 6:30 a.m., so I had coffee and sleepy beagles and yarn and I watched football in bed.  The league decided to have some 6:30 12:30 matches on Sundays, probably for television purposes, but some Italians are predictably decrying the intrusion of crass popular culture into the sacrosanct rituals of mass and Sunday dinner with the family.  This is a little hard for me to understand as a secular American, because everyone knows that it's church and family that encroaches on television, not the other way around.  Anyhoo, you can't expect the die-hard fans ("ultras") to skip the match because of church and family, so they go, but they don't like it.  A few weeks ago, I can't remember which match, but the ultras went to the game, but protested:  By bringing sandwiches to the match.  And eating them.  

Stuffed-up November Blahs

We have a cold.  Both Mr. D. and I are afflicted and we have both missed some work. The fact that it happened to be a Champions League/Europa League week had nothing to do with it.  We're mostly better now, at least I am.  Tragically, we do not feel well enough for yard work, but that's fine, because I'm not obsessing nearly enough about the bulbs I haven't planted, the woodpile I haven't dealt with, the fencing I haven't finished, or the compost heap I haven't moved.  Unless I work myself into a full-blown anxiety attack, I probably won't get around to it until next week, and when I do it, I'll be out there red-faced and weeping about how much it sucks to do yard work.

Old Lady Post: Not Just a Pretty Face

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 27, 2010 

Tickle-fest!

 

It gets better, I promise, but here's the bad news first:  

 

Diego is gone.  Officially gone.  Officially gone at a loss of about 10 million euros.  With him goes an awful lot of play-making creativity under the age of 30, and God's Favorite Brazilian's best and perhaps only friend.  This.  Is.  Bad.  

Old Lady Mini-Post: Juventus Advance, Diego leaves

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 26, 2010


 LDN lied to us.  Diego is gone.  And to Wolfsburg no less.    This blows.


Juventus defeated Sturm Graz 1-0 (3-1 agg)  at the Stadio Olimpico this afternoon to advance to the Europa League group stage.  Palermo and Napoli advance too, and the Reds.   The group stage draw is tomorrow.   Il capitano was today's goal-scorer with a luscious, sneaky, deceitful, and powerful strike IN THE RUN OF PLAY!  You read that right:  Not on a free kick or PK.


Mercato rumors are getting obscenely ridiculous.  The one I like best is Rafael van der Vaart to Juve to replace Diego, but I'm sure that can only happen in my dreams.  The suits are probably trying to buy Mancini or Simone Loria.  *scoff*


Big normal spam to follow tomorrow or Saturday, assuming I can tear myself away from Imaginary Alessa In My Head.

Old Lady Post: Now with a Title!

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 23,  2010

Issue number 1:  My oh my but you bitchez have a most impressive collection of Claudio icons! 


Issue number 2:  Serie A finally finally finally starts this weekend, but the transfer window stays open until August 30.   Please correct me if I'm wrong about that. 





Arriving at Malpensa, "crazy with joy."

Old Lady Post: Austrians and Bad Hair and Surprise Tangent

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 20, 2010

If this looks familiar, it's because it was from the Modena game against Shamrock.  I can't help it.  Look how pretty!




Whatta Week!  We saw the return of Jonathan Zebina, Certified Douchebag, to training, the return of International Villain and God's Favorite Brazilian Felipe Melo to the pitch, the departure of Tiago Mendes just when it looked like we might be stuck with him on account of his all-consuming greed, and we got a new mid:



Serbian winger Milos Krasic, late of CSKA Moscow.  He has hair issues.   Obviously.   It seems to me that the suits have sorta wanted him all along unless they could do better and get Dzeko if they could, which they couldn't.  Lucky for us, he has such shockingly low self-esteem that  was pleased and honored to hang around all summer being the Old Lady's back-up plan in case it didn't work out with Prince Charming.   And guess what else?  Reportedly, he doesn't suck!  Fortunately, we all have experience coping with bad hair, so perhaps this will work out.

Old Lady Post: Hooray! We Are Screwed.

 So I stalled for a day, and then as I sat down to watch this one with my bottle of Prosecco, my well-developed sense of dread,  and Mr. D's Christmas sweater, I turned to Mr. D and said:

 "Milan 4-0 Juventus.  Two zebras will get sent off, Juve will finish with 9 men, and Alessa will suffer a horrible injury."

And that's before I realized that Gio got banged up during warm-ups and was not going to play.  Hell, I guess at least I'll get to ogle Zlatan (who returned to Italy and apologized to me for going to Spain, thereby redeeming himself and coming back from DeadtoMe status).  I love Zlatan, although he doesn't deserve me.

I'm happy to report that I was mostly wrong in the best possible way.  Juventus pulled ahead with a two-goal lead and DID NOT COMPLETELY BLOW IT in the last few minutes, pulling out a 2-1 lead over the Rossoneri at the San Siro.   \o/



world champions