Old Lady Post: Sardine Spam

I know this is super tardy.  I know there was another match today.  I've seen it, but I'm not sure I can trust my eyes.  There's the delicious grape, see, which may be clouding my judgment.  I'm really not convinced by the score I seem to have seen, because I'm not that lucky.  This feeling that my senses can't be trusted is intensified by the sight of Leo running around the Stadio Olimpico in his underpants.  I must be in some state of altered consciousness, because God doesn't make them that special.  Boy puts DDR to shame.

Tomorrow, when I'm sober, I shall look to see what really happened.  Until now then (see?  The brain she is not functioning properly), I bring you last weekend's match.  I can't remember much about it anyway, so it's not like my commentary would be improved by mental lucidity.  That's not a nice thing to say.  Fine.  Relative mental lucidity.  Is that better?

Cagliari 1:3 Juventus

pagelle

Old Lady Post: Um....Ouch. Plus, Breaking Gio News

Sampdoria 0:0 Juventus





Any questions?


Oh boy.  This was a match in which only the brutes and Pepe stood out.  There was kicking and screaming, pushing and shoving, eye-poking and hair-pulling, shootings and stabbings, military coups and counter-revolutions, and one poor excuse for Zorro in a tricked-out mask saving the day.  OK, not really, but this was a crazy physical match that probably has every single player for both sides in the whirlpool as we speak.  Poor babies.  And the bit about the Zorro is true.

pagelle

Old Lady Post: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON NOVEMBER 6, 2010




Juventus 0:0 Salzburg

In many other team sports--especially from an American point of view--a zero-zero result is unacceptable.  It means that nothing happened and no one won.  In a country entrenched in the Winners &  Losers construct, it is intolerable not to have a winner.  How can there be a tie draw?  It's as unthinkable as shaking hands and agreeing to disagree.  This is a very Manichaean sort of place, even if most of us don't know what that means and like to make fun of the pointy-headed brainiac Sheldonians who do.   Football teaches us that a nuthin-nuthin tie  nil-nil draw can be not only be a just and appropriate result among well-matched opponents, it can also reflect a humdinger of an exciting match.

But not this one.  It was so dull that I couldn't find anything worth writing down in my notes.  Here's the upshot:  Most of the seniors are either broken or cup-tied; the babies are still babies; you can't play old guys twice a week all year long and expect world-class performances every night; Amauri will never be a trequartista; and even if the zebes win their last two matches, they may not make it out of group stage.  My friends, the situation in Europe is dire.

Old Lady Post: Zebras in Manchester

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 2, 2010

yup.  that's pretty much how I feel about it.


I'd like to start with a Public Service Announcement from the Moron Network:

If you are trying not to find out the score from a football match you have not yet seen,  STAY OFF FOOTBALL SITES ON THE INTERWEBS.


I've fallen into this trap before,but I never learn.  I think I would have enjoyed that match much much more if I hadn't known the result in advance. There was a lot of action and some suspense and it ended in a nail-biting 1-1 draw.  This is a good thing.  Man City is a good team side, and a point against Man City away is a very nice thing to have.  The Citizens took advantage of the Bianconeri's one serious defensive break and ADP knocked a free kick off the crossbar late and, well, that was probably a winnable game match.  I would be happier with a win.


I'll try womanfully to accentuate the positive.

Old Lady Mini-Post: Half-Assed Beach Edition

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 20, 2010


Last week, we had a Europa League Claudio deficit.  This week,  we have plenty of Claudio, some as you've never seen him before and never will again, I hope.

Now study carefully, because there will be a quiz later:

Question:  What the FUCK is that boy doing?   (Extra credit question: How many coolness points does he lose for doing it?)

It is true.  At last, Juventus got a league victory, in an away match no less, against lowly Udinese.  Not only a victory, but a 0-4 plastering.  Better still (this is the part none of you care about), through the miracle of modern wireless internet access,  I was able to watch the match whilst 250 miles away from home (that's 400-ish km) enjoying a well-deserved beach vacation (that's "holiday").  None of my friends IRL understand this, but I know you all do:  I love football so much that I will happily spend a little of my vacation time watching football while hiding from My Enemy, The Sun.  I love you guise!    OK, but I'm not going to spend all day making a picspam masterpiece.  But I am willing to plop together a vaguely organized collection of match photos, light on the commentary and heavy on the squee.  

Old Lady Mini-Post: Coulda Been Worse

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON NOVEMBER 12, 2010




 Brescia 1:1 Juventus



All I have to say is the Bianconeri are damn lucky that Brescia can't finish.  Juve had nothing out wide on either side, Brescia had a few key saves, and the forwards had little service to work with.  Someone(s) needs to wake up fast or i Giallorossi is going to walk away with the next one.

Old Lady Post: Three Points. Whew.

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 10, 2010

Juventus 3:1 Cesena




<3

It started out the same as it did last season.  Juve faces an inferior team, looks listless and uninspired, and gives up the lead early.  What makes this different is that Juve fought through the ennui and pulled out a win.  There were times when it didn't feel like it was going to turn out that way, but it did.  The Bianconeri have moved up to fourth in the table, four points back from Lazio (ty Roma).