Bunny Builds up her Back Line

Let's face it. Sometimes Fabi and Gian need the day off to get their hair done. When they're dal parrucchiere, who will cover the back for Dirtbunny?



This guy never needs the day off for hair-related reasons:




Phillip Lahm, German international and underrated fullback for Bayern Munich. He's got offense and defense, and just when you forget he's on the pitch, there he is making you look foolish.



Lahm may be understated, but this guy is not:





You never forget that Sergio Ramos, fullback for Real Madrid and the Spanish national team, is on the pitch.





Uhhh, he worries a lot about his look.

Without achieveing as much success as he probably thinks he has, looks-wise.

We love it when he kisses Raul on the lips. We love it when he tries to mark the Big Swede. We love his game. We hate his hair. We have been denying him his call-up because of the problem hair. We just can't reinforce certain kinds of behavior.

But. He has gotten a haircut, so he's in.

I know. It's a mullet/shag. But it's an improvement, and a step in the right direction. If he grows it out again, I'll have to put him in tonsorial rehab. But for now, he's in.

This haircut from days of yore, we approve:

I know, maybe Gian can help him with the hair! And if not, maybe Marco can kick the crap out of him.

More help in the back

Dirtbunny's strikers need some service. Fabi can't do it all by himself. It's time for more fullbacks. And since FC Dirtbunny already has the best left back in the world, why not the best right back in the world? And so, Gianluca Zambrotta, Azzurri defender, currently of A.C. Milan, and formerly of Juve, before the scandal. In addition to his mad skillz, he's pretty.







He's a defender who can defend. Duh, right? But some fullbacks are more about working the touch line and sending crosses to the center. That's important stuff, and Gian can do it. But defense is also important. Gian has both.





Here he is giving it hard to David Villa during the Euros:

And here he is getting some love from (who else?) Gigi:

Look! A little Juventini reunion! If only he would come back to the Bianconeri. Oh man, Gigi, Gian, Gio, and (we think) Capi in the back again. *sigh* That would be a defense to be reckoned with.

Why are Gigi's pants hitched up? And what is ADP doing with his belly button?

Hmm

Just because Dirtbunny is away doesn't mean you shouldn't continue to check to see what's going on. Lots of call-ups this week, for example. Plus big Champions League action.

I guess no one loves me.


Sniff

As if being here weren't bad enough, now I know no one misses me when I'm gone.

Speaking of the Dark Side . . .

Dirtbunny has forgiven the Matrix. He can be an enormous douchebag, but when he's not getting sent off for "dissent" (i.e., talking smack during the game) or kicking someone's ass, he's also a lot of fun:

The Special One hasn't been letting him play, and this is not good.

See? This photo is from last year (you can tell from Ale's haircut and the red Nike logo on the Bianconeri kit.)

He's old (like Capi), and his best days are probably behind him. Alex likes him, and so does Dirtbunny.

So, Marco Materazzi, Inter and Azzurri central defender, welcome to FC Dirtbunny.

Now, if you don't mind, let's work on those red cards, shall we? Getting sent off from the bench is not cool.

Gigi is an Idiot

An idiot? Un idiota? Si. Un idiota.

He is prone to dumb injuries, so he needs a decent back-up. Also, he and Julio Cesar have been engaged in the following press war for the last two weeks. I'm not going to quote anyone, but it goes like this:

Gigi: I can no longer regard myself as the best portiere in the world. Julio Cesar has surpassed me.

Julio: I am grateful for Gigi's kind remarks, but Gigi is the best portiere in the world.

Gigi: No, you are.

Julio: No, you are.

etc, etc, etc

This is all a tiresome load of bullshit, because Gigi is the best goalkeeper in the world. That said, I'm calling up Julio Cesar: Brazilian international and portiere for Internazionale Milan:





Reasons:


Number one: He's a damn fine goalkeeper. Almost as good as Gigi. Better than Petr Cech.

Number two: He's smart. Way smarter than Gigi. And Dirtbunny appreciates a man with brains. Such men are in short supply on FC Dirtbunny so far. I think Julio might actually be able to read.

Number three: Although he plays for the Nerazzurri, which is Il Diavolo's representative in Serie A, he doesn't seem to have absorbed the evil, which is good, because certain of Dirtbunny's players are starting to show tendencies towards the dark side of the force. Remember, Cesc, once you turn to the dark side, forever will it dominate your destiny.

Freefall continues

Bianconeri get a draw to the worst team in Serie A. At least it wasn't a loss. And now they drop to a firm third in the table, behind Inter and A C Milan. ADP scored a goal on a penalty kick, but missed a pile of shots and got subbed out in the second half. My internet service does not provide ESPN360.com, so I had to settle for the crappy gamecast. Too sad. Also, too early to relieve suffering through drink.


Dirtbunny: I don't want to go to Indianapolis.

ADP: I'll come with.

Dirtbunny: You have training.

ADP: I hate futbol. I'd rather go with you.

Dirtbunny: But you have a game next Sunday.

ADP: Fly to USA tonight, go with you to Indianapolis tomorrow, stay in hotel with you, fly back to Malpensa on Friday, play in Torino against Lecce on Sunday. No problem.

Dirtbunny: You can't be serious.

ADP: As serious as a heart attack. The hotel has a gym, right?

Dirtbunny: [! knows that hotel "gym" is no substitute for professional futbol training]

ADP: I'm a seasoned world traveler. This is no big deal.

Dirtbunny: [!!! can you even get to DC from Malpensa tonight? Answer: Yes, but he'd have to take a later flight to Indianapolis. Oh, wait. He played in Reggina, so he'd have to get to a major airport first. But he's rich. He'll figure something out.]

ADP: Come on Dirtbunny. You know you want to.

Dirtbunny: You'd do that for me?

ADP: Only the best for my Dirtbunny.

Dirtbunny: *sigh*

Indiana and Dogs

Lucky, lucky Dirtbunny. She has to, I mean she gets to, spend next week in fabulous Indianapolis at a mandatory conference put on by the Teeny Tiny Government Entity. Some people were hoping that it would get canceled on the account of the economy, but no. So I will be gone next week. I got me my plane tickets. I got me my special soap and shampoo so I'm not stuck with hotel soap and shampoo (I'd pack towels and a pillow if I had space). I got me my safety cup (so I can drink the brown water that hotels call coffee without spilling). I got me my Ipod loaded with learn-to-speak-Italian stuff. I got me my knitting projects (or I will decide which ones to take). I have programmed the DVR to capture the Champions League, Bundesliga, Serie A, and La Liga matches that I would otherwise miss. I have started the laundry.

Aside from hotel conference room chairs, hotel conference lunch buffets, hotel conference "coffee," and fabulous speakers on fabulous topics, I get some forced socializing with the people I work with every damn day. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to that, because it's spring time, and spring time is when Dirtbunny's depression likes to hit the skids, so socializing seems like an impossible task. But I also get the following amazing perks:

One: I will not have to cook my own dinner. This means I won't be having anything good for dinner until I get back, but still.

Two: Beagle-free time. I love them, but it will be nice not to have Tiki clawing at my boobs and Kirby kicking me in the back all the time.

Here we have Mr. Don't-Touch-Me using the object of his scorn as a pillow...

...as he stretches out and demands a belly rub.

He has it rough, poor little dog.

[sleeping in The Man's spot, as usual]

No beagle time means no more daily trips to the vet to drop off Kirby, and then second daily trips to the vet to pick him up. He's done with his radiation. I took some photos of his "graduation" (gag!) on his last day. I wasn't going to post them because they are out of focus, but then I decided that they capture Kirby's special nature perfectly. So here he is coming out after his last day of cancer treatment:

[kinda happy, as you can tell by the prancing front foot, but also, what are you going to do to me now? Where's Bunny? Where am I? What's happening?]

[There you are Bunny. Can we go?]

[I said let's go! Why aren't we going yet?]

Yes, they gave him a bandana to wear. Don't ask me why. His side effects are supposed to kick in while I'm gone. While it might be comforting to be around when they are happening, because I would have the illusion of control over the whole thing, I have to say that there's an upside to not being there while he's suffering. Poor little guy. We are going to do a treatment dress rehearsal tomorrow, so The Man will know The Correct Way We Do Things Around Here (tm), but if he decides to do things his way, well, what I don't know won't hurt me.

The Bianconeri play the Calabrians (Reggina) tomorrow, but it is not being broadcast. Reggina is dead last in Serie A, so the Zebras actually have a shot, but I won't get to see it. Oh well. To soothe myself, here are some photos that make Bunny happy:

[Gigi speaking the international language of "Who? Me?" to a Hibernian he recently flattened]

[Capi looking like he's about to beat the crap out of that wanker, Iaquinta. I'm not sure what Capi is really doing, and Iaqunita probably needed to have the crap beaten out of him--he usually does--but somehow I doubt that this is actually what is depicted here. Still, a girl can dream.]

[Mr. January offering you a platter of prosciutto, because he works part-time in the deli, and if you would just spend your tourism dollars in Emilia-Romagna, you might just bump into him. Yeah. Right. Please note that the German word for "parmesan" includes the root "cheese." In other words, in German, "parmesan" is "parmesancheese." And you wonder why German words are so long.]

And here's ADP sharing an affectionate moment with his protege-slash-groupie, Sebastian Giovinco. ADP is not a large man. He's listed as 5'8", which means that maybe, MAYBE, he's 5'7 1/2" with his boots on. Look how tiny Little Sebastian is. He's fast though. When he learns to defend and to finish his shots, he's going to be a humdinger.