Please Stand By

Dirtbunny's wireless network is down. If you think that Bunny has handled this calmly and maturely, then you don't know Dirtbunny. The Man has been deputized to "handle it" while Bunny has taken to her boudoir with a wicked case of the vapors. All online activity must now be conducted


[gulp]



FROM THE BASEMENT!

[gasp]


It is hard to imagine that I can have any fun in the basement, so I don't know when I'll return to regular posting. That depends on The Man's "handle it" proficiency. (He seems to be trying hard, so my expectations are high. We''ll see.) In the meantime:



Kirby status: His cancer booboo got all scabby and flaky without ever really going through a crusty open sore stage, and now the top layer of scab-plus-hair is peeling off in flakes to reveal nice-looking pink skin. Flakes of scab-plus-hair all over the place are/is pretty goddamned gross, I must say. Kirby assists in the shedding process by doing a modified butt-scootch in which he drags his leg instead of his butt. It's a pretty effective exfoliant. He's no dummy. He is ready to stop wearing the e-collar, sez Kirby anyway, and he is acting like his normal self

except

he has kennel cough. Here is what happens during kennel cough. Dog hacks an ungodly hack deep from his diaphragm. The noise is heartbreaking. Hack, hack, hack, and then he hocks up whatever he has loosened, and then he either swallows it and repeats the process OR he barfs it up. If the dog is wearing an e-collar when he barfs up his foamy white phlegm, where do you think it goes? Good answer! It goes down the e-collar and drips down his neck and front and everywhere. Let me tell you, it is delicious. So that means you have to change the e-collar, wash down the dog as best you can short of a bath, wash down the e-collar, and put the collar back on him. Repeat all day Saturday until you run out of dog towels and start having to use the good towels.

That was then. We had one REALLY BAD DAY, and now he is recovering nicely. The barfing has stopped, he's sleeping through the night, and the coughing is greatly reduced. Tiki has not caught it and we are past the contagion period. So good news.

Going to the vet with kennel cough is an interesting experience. They don't let you come into the lobby. They met us in the parking lot and herded us through the back door like we were doing the rich person's version of a perp walk. Then they put on extra gowns and gloves and ask you to be the one doing most of the touching instead of the Vet Tech, and they ask you to please aim him that way so the cough hits the wall instead of going into the air, and yeah, we've seen this before, and you are shuttled out the back the way you came in and someone comes out to the car with the medicine and that'll be $150.00 please. It all took about three minutes. They do not want kennel cough germs in there at all. We were made to feel most unclean.


Bianconeri status: Have not won a game in weeks, but drew to AC Milan at the San Siro. In some danger of falling out of third place and having to go to the qualifiers for next year's Champions League instead of getting an automatic draw. Lots of rumors about temper tantrums in the dressing room and threatening to go play somewhere else and Il Mister is probably going to get fired and next week's game is not being broadcast and it's all very sad. However, the transfer of Capi from Real Madrid is virtually a done deal, so that's good.

Sleepy status: Pirlo got a very nerdy haircut this week and dropped at least 20 hotness points. I am hoping that the whole thing is the result of some father-son learning experience at the barber (maybe Sleepy Junior didn't want a haircut so they all went together so it wouldn't be so scary). At least I hope it's something like that, some kind of not-to-be-repeated mistake.

Big Swede status: The Inter fans have turned on him and he is rude in return and he has sold his villa outside Milan and is almost certainly leaving Serie A at the end of the season to go no one knows where. This is very bad news.

The weather: is beautiful. We have azaleas and irises and all the tress are in full leaf and it's breezy and lovely.

il coniglietto = bunny in Italian, so I guess that makes me a coniglietta.


And yes, I'm still knitting.