Layers of Ridiculous

Everything seems a little bit harder and slower than usual today.  This means that when I start puttering around, I'm going slow enough that Kirby is always right there.  (On good days when I move better, I can get three or four steps on him and sometimes he even gets lost.  Or he thinks I get lost.  Remember, with Kirby, you start with an unremarkable dog brain, and then you subtract for his mental disabilities, both organic and psychological.  If it isn't related to food, he can be really stupid, pobrecito.)

And I'm puttering around and Kirby is following me and I go into the bedroom to open the window because it is finally starting to warm up but then I can't remember why I'm in there and so I stop and Kirby looks up at me.  "Are we staying put?  Cos if we're staying put, I'm going to sit over there in the sunny spot."  And I say, "No Kirby, we're going back out.  But I'm coming back later to do some yogurt."

Then it occurs to me:

1.  One does not "do" yogurt.  One eats yogurt, and I am planning on having some later.  One "does" yoga.  Which is what I was trying to say to my dog.
2.  I was having an audible conversation--in English--with my dog. 
3.  And I felt bad for using the wrong word, because it might have confused him, so I started explaining that I misspoke.  To my dog.

Please don't tell my therapist.  She'll undoubtedly interpret this to mean that I don't get enough contact with other humanoid beings (The Man doesn't count, cos he won't talk to me unless I want him to leave me alone) and she'll yank the permission on the working-at-home gig.  And then I'll ignore her and continue anyway and every week I'll get an earful about whether this is really the right decision for me and how long has it been since I saw the shrink and pretty soon I'll start ditching just so I won't have to hear it and then the ditching will become a thing and then I'll rebel and probably stop taking my meds and who knows what will happen if I stop taking my meds.  Last time I did, I got a nice little charge from the idea that I was winning the power struggle, but an objective observer might say that it was not the best decision.