Juventus 0:2 Roma
That one hurt. For a while, it looked like something good was possible, then it looked like nothing was going to happen at all, and then the usual shit happened courtesy of the usual suspects, and then the whole thing ended with a goal from Taddei. TADDEI! I don't know what to say.
Announcement Number Two: Happy Birthday Gigi!
Italy's Number One turned 33 yesterday. He's got game, he's got Alena, and he can pull off an improbable Salvador-Dali-as-Circus-Ringmaster outfit better than anyone.
Oh crap. Might as well get on with it.
I saw the broadcast on GolTV, which actually showed some of the titillating pre-match locker room footage. Guess who we saw without his shirt on? Guess! Guess! Marco Costantino. Like his peers, he waxes too much. Guess who we got to see in his underpants! Rodrigo Taddei. I'm telling you, this locker room crap is a total bust. Those two players are the last two on either squad any of us want to see au naturel. I should have known then that the stars were aligned against me and Juve was going to lose.
My next clue was LDN's line-up of doom: Storari, Motta, Bonucci, Chiellini, Grygera, Martinez, Melo, Sissoko, Pepe, ADP, and Amauri. I don't know how anyone could have thought the Zebes would have anything going forward with that midfield and those fullbacks.
On the other hand, when they played Fratelli d'Italia, ADP, Gio, and Leo all sang. &hearts
Alessa looked old and tired, because he is. And pissed off but impotent, *covers his ears* which he was.
He put in his usual effort, but there was no one with him to participate in the attack.
Pardon me, but it is completely ridiculous that Juventus has to rely on ADP as much as it does. Yeah, the other strikers are all injured, sure, but when is Iaquinta not injured?
It's just too much to ask for, even from him.
He took a serious beating from Roma.
Particularly from Taddei haaaaaaate, but there was also that no-call against Mexes in the box. Used to be that if a defender put his arms around you from the back, picked you up off your feet, and hurled you to the pitch, that was a foul.
Pobrecito. He complained, but it made no difference. But at least he has two days before he has to go for another 90 minutes!
I don't even remember Gio during the match....
...except one time when he wrestled with Borriello and came up all giggly when the scrum was over.
Grygera, who is not a left back, started at left back.
*sigh. SIGH*
There are no photos of Marcolino. This is a blessing in disguise. He was awful, and he lost Mirko for Roma's first goal. His attempted clearances give us all the heebie-jeebies.
As you all know, I'm done with Amauri. I no longer harbor the faintest tiny hope that he will get better. So did he? No. It was Amauri as usual. Even Ray Hudson, who's stuck on the 2008 press pack when it comes to Italian football, mentioned that Amauri seemed to be having a "slow start" to the match.
The match was plagued by bad calls, which nearly always seemed to go Roma's way, as it tends to happen when your team is sucking. Leo bitched and moaned about every damn one of them. &hearts And he favored us with some looks of utter disgust. nnnnnggggh
I don't remember much about Martinez either. I tend to watch these things in the evenings right before bed Alessa's flight gets in. If the game goes well, there's Welcome Home Alone Time. If not, there's still Welcome Home Alone Time, which tends to erase a lot of the stuff I wish I didn't see and am kinda glad I don't remember.
OK, these are all from early in the match when Brighi was still on.
I don't remember this impressive jump at all, but there are a bunch of photos about it. Can't Cassetti do something else with his hair?
Yeah. Melo played too.
Ya know what? I'm just really ticked about this match. There was no attack. None! And you could tell from the line-up that there wasn't going to be any. Did LDN think beating Roma in the Coppa was going to be easy? Or did he just not care? If he didn't care, why not play more babies?
I Hate Menez's hair.
I hate Milos's hair too.
JAR is captain of Team Ginger, right? He makes plausible gangsta signs and he likes fruit and he never looks like a hobo.
Momo is still around. He did a pretty good job disrupting Roma and gaining possession. I guess.
Vincenzo played a whole 30 minutes, accomplishing nothing except reinjuring himself.
So the Coppa adventure is over. Juve can now concentrate its limited manpower on qualifying for Champions League.
Next match is tomorrow at home against Udinese. Here is the call-up sheet:
1 Buffon
3 Chiellini
4 Felipe Melo
5 Sissoko
6 Grosso
7 Salihamidzic
8 Marchisio
10 Del Piero
13 Manninger
14 Aquilani
15 Barzagli
19 Bonucci
21 Grygera
25 Martinez
27 Krasic
30 Storari
33 Legrottaglie
38 Libertazzi
43 Sorensen
Good news: Gigi is here, Melo is back from suspension, Barzagli has arrived, and Marcostorari hasn't left (yet).
Bad news: Amauri is out for a week, Motta is out for a week, Traore is out for two more weeks, Pepe is out for two weeks, Vincenzo hurt himself again, and the only striker on the list besides Ale is Libertazzi.
After that, there's a mid-week match against (wait for it.......) Palermo. Oh joy.
Naaaah. I can't end like that. How about a clip of Gigi pimping sugary breakfast cereal to bored school children, thereby contributing to the Americanization of Italy and the overall decline of civilization?
I always have been cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
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