Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Old Ladzzzzzzzz

 Fiorentina 0:0  Juventus


It's kind of difficult to complain much.  Maybe the zebes aren't actual shit, but they play football like they're shit.


Sooooooo boring.  The whole match was a Festival Of Feh in which the most exciting thing that happened was that Leo yelled at Sorensen for getting a stupid yellow card.  Roma lost, so the boys had the chance to move into sixth, and they didn't do it.   Actually, they didn't do much of anything.  Fortunately, neither did Viola.



The Serie A Knee Casualties of 2010-2011 are starting to dribble back onto the various benches.




Yeah, I know we aren't used to seeing Seb (1) cleaned up or (2) smiling, but that is indeed Seb in his short shorts with his waxed jambes francaises.  "Francaises"?  That looks awful.  I am going to have to learn how to make diacritical marks.








Oh, ew.  Mitra's torso looks way better than Rambo's.





Am I right or what?

To keep myself from falling asleep while slapping this together, let's go backwards!


Starting from the top, Matri played up front as a lone striker in a 4-5-1.



All the proof of Motta you're going to get.

Actually, this gives us all an excellent view of Marcolino's terrible hairdo.  See---he's got it sheared close on the sides and back, and he's sprouting a cheesy pompadour out of the top of his head like a giant souffle.  I don't know why these boys hold Borriello as the bellwether of hair, but I've had to say this before at least once:  If it don't work on Borriello, it ain't going to work on you.






This is only the first of many shots of someone trying to rip Mitra's shirt off.  It's not the first time and, well you can't blame them for trying.




Mmmmmmm. Furry man-arms.





Stupid ole Artur.  Dang him!  Dang him to heck!





Check out LDS's ass!  Wow.  'Course Mitra is too busy hooking his fingers into LDS's eye sockets to notice.





These make it look like Mitra was a busy beaver, but actually, he didn't see much of the ball and he didn't get a single shot on goal.




His main problem was that there was no one on the side who could deliver the ball to the top third of the pitch---just like Juventus 2009-2010 and gli Azzurri 2009-2010.





Shirt!  Tolya.






OK, two problems.  No service plus having to protect his lovely mug from Gambit's abuse.



Know who else was boring up top?



ADP was boring.




When he came on as a sub early in the second half, there was a brief spark of creativity, including a shot on goal that Artur saved, but then it all fizzled.  The air leaked out of the Juve!Balloon, complete with farty noises, and I thought  "You woke me up for THIS?"




I hope he puts sunscreen on his bald spot.





Alessa winces and Gambit lumbers away from the crime scene.








Look!  Fail twins!  (except Loooca has hair he can lace his fingers through).





Loooca tried a pass or two, but he consistently put the ball too far in front of ADP and it all came to nothing.




I have seen Mr. D with that facial expression so many times.......  It means he's checked out of this world and entered the secret world inside Mr. D's head.  Somehow, I can't credit Loooca with any deep thoughts.






Monty had a pretty good match, dammit.



Remember the awesome Pepe who gave us so much win against Genoa?



He's dead.




For this match, he reverted to his early-season form, to wit, lots of very busy thrashing around and practically no completed passes going forward.  And he got rid of the hair.






Milos was not awesome.  Fortunately, neither was JMV.








Lord help me.  See that Viola behind Milos?  All you can see of him is a hand, a mouth, and an arm.  It's Pasqual.  I should not be able to recognize him by his mouth.  That's just wrong.  If I could manage to use that portion of my brain currently occupied by recognizing second-rate players by their body parts for something worthwhile, I could probably achieve World Peace or something.






Albertino was unusually bitchy yesterday.




check out Monty!  He's got the Eye of the Tiger!

Maybe I'm an idiot, but I always figured Albertino was more sleepy and out of it than feisty.  what do I know?



Somehow, it seems like this ought to be much hotter than it actually is.




At one point, Richard Whittle got so bored he started naming everyone on the pitch who was Roman, and he noted how they all tended towards the occasional temper tantrum.


Claudio did what he did, without fanfare.



I hope Krol had the sense to be afraid.




Mmmmmm.  Steely determination.  nnngggh





Never leave us, bb.  Especially not for Inter.




God's Favorite Brazilian and his thighs and his freshly shaved head functioned like a fifth defender all day.  He was one person who was not mediocre.  Him and Monty.



Behrami is watching the ball.  Melo is looking forward to where he's going to put the ball.



Fabulous Fabio was back to his usual, non-special self.  No serious fuckups, but nothing great either.





Barza had an effective, competent game.



I'd say he shut down Gila, but really, hasn't Gila been shutting down all by himself lately?



Beating Gila in the air.



I rag on him, but his body language and sneering facial expression tells me we may have been separated at birth.  (I look good in purple too.)




Who deserves the LOLZ more--Grosso or Donadel?

Oh, Leo.  I love you and your eyebrows, but meh.  Wait.  Are you going for Gumby hair?  Cos HELL no to that.



Who am I kidding?  Call me, babe.


And now for the most exciting thing of the whole day:



Gigi has a new hairdo.  Looks good from this angle.









Looks like Japanese cartoon hair from this angle.



Whatever.  Gigi can wear whatever hair he wants.



So now the zebes are one point out of Europe and , oh crap, eight points out of Champions League.  Fifteen points left at stake.



Next match is Saturday home to Catania.

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