The Summer 2001 Mercato is open and Juventini are already
The first one came early, before the lights at the Bernabeu had a chance to cool off.
The Special One left us for Real Madrid. He took his coat and his notepad and his Rui and his crazy with him (but he left Beppe---whew!) and things weren't quite the same.
Does anyone remember Sasa Bochetti? You know, the one who went to all those Leafs games with Mimmo?
Intense brown eyes, nice smoochable lips, painted-on abs? Anyone?
How about now?
Aw hell yes you remember him now. Sasa decided to take the big money move to Russia and he disappeared to
Next, another memorable loss:
Mario Balotelli, seen here admiring his own muscular beauty, fled Inter to be reunited with Mancini at Manchester City, so he could mature and also earn a buttload of money.
Instead of maturing, he engaged in all sorts of fun things like throwing darts at babies. Also? The world is his parking lot and he carries around a ridonkulous amount of cash--because he can. Some poor flunky on the Man City staff has gotten stuck with Mario!Maserati retrieval duty. It easy to see how someone with unlimited cash and little regard for the travails of the little people is happy to pay a zillion impound fees. You have to wonder, though. If he had to actually go get his car back himself *coff coff* would he maybe care a little bit more about where he parks? Just sayin'.
Get on wit yo bad self.
So the maturity project is going a little more slowly than some might have hoped, but Super Mario continues to be a major talent with unlimited potential. I think we all hope he gets it together.
And next, an incoming, Dirtbunny's Sworn Enemy, Mark Van Bommel. Haaaaaaate. He's a dirty player and otherwise entirely evil, comparable only to John Terry in his loathsomeness. My personal feelings aside, I have to admit that his transfer to Milan qualifies as "notable." So here he is......
.....taking a dive, because anyone would buy that Andres Iniesta, The Frailest Little Man in Football, viciously knocked him over. Seriously, if Iniesta had hit him hard enough to warrant MVB's dramaface, the impact would have shattered most of the fragile bones in his delicate little body.
He does more than dive, however. He also commits dirty fouls.
Bless you, Howard.
This is only a crappy little yellow, I know. When he was sent off during his first Serie A match against Catania, Mr. D and I did a gleeful "Told You So Dance" that alarmed the neighbors.
I can't bear to think of him in an Italian kit, but I can tolerate, sort of, seeing him in Oranje, as long as RVDV isn't in the picture. It's really too bad that he hasn't won a world cup.
Takes one to know one, pal.
At least Bayern failed to allow him any dignity:
Lederhosen! hahahahahahahahahaha
Enough of that. January saw Froggie escape from Genoa and hit the big time at Inter. He's got his shot with a big club and now it's time to show us what he's made of.
On the pitch, that is. Off the pitch, he's perfect.
This one's notable wherever he goes:
Zlatan returned from Spain
We've missed him.
Reds fans wish he'd finished up with Kyrgiakos when he had the chance. What did Dirty Tackle say about him? He smells like feta cheese wrapped in a dead monkey?
No one bitchposes like Zlatan.
unf
Fail time! Rosella must have been smoking some tainted weed when she brought Adriano back from Brazil after his huge flame-out at Inter.
Roma even redesigned their jerseys to include a built-in underwire to help support Adriano's manboobs....
....even though it was probably really uncomfortable for the guys without breasts. Those of us who knew from the beginning that the Adriano signing was a Very Bad Idea were proven right when he slunk back to Brazil in March after only five appearances (that's 1 million euros per appearance, if you're keeping track).
I don't mean to pick on Roma. It's just that I'm Juventina, and it helps to know that sometimes other squads make dumb-ass acquisitions. Don't get me started on Tiago Mendes--or God!--Poulsen. AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
BRB (Bunny needs a beer)
OK then. So Poulsen is long gone, which is good, and has become an object of mirth and mockery at Liverpool, which is even better. Hey! How have I gotten this far without pimping any Bianconeri? Juventus had a lot of transfer activity, for better or for worse, but I think the most important one of all is Marcostorari.
that hair!
Despite the fact that he failed to cut Krasic's hair during his tenure as Team Bus Barber, Marcostorari is a huge favorite in Turin. We've all seen him over the years, moving every 6-12 months from one club to another, playing second keeper at best, not getting much time, but playing like a Fucking Monster when he gets a shot. So Gigi hurts himself and Juve needs a replacement because Manninger! is, um, not all that, despite our tender feelings for him. And so the new suits go out and buy us Marcostorari, who gets to start pretty much the entire Andata and he completely kicks ass to the point where people start debating whether Gigi---Gigi! Gigi Buffon!--should be given back his number one spot. Maybe you're a Juve-hater (it's OK) but isn't it great to see Marcostorari come out of the shadows and get a chance?
Marcostorari was not the only Samp alum to move on. As part of his plan to Kill Sampdoria, Garrone sold Pazzo.....
...who turned out an impressive Ritorno at Inter, and Cheetos.....
....who managed not to disgrace himself at Milan. Samp had no one left who was any good at offense, so Samp duly went down and broke Dogfish's heart. Boo.
Ciro "CROTCH CROTCH" Ferrara got a new job too, as Mister of the Azzurini.
Meh. The babies have yet to excel, and rather than fix their hair problems, Ciro has instead let his own hair go (that's Backwards Ciro. Backwards) but it's awesome to see him
There is another Juve transfer notable for its Extreme Fail. Marotta could have had this:
...for 12 million Euros. Instead, he bought this....
....for 15 million Euros. BTW: Sevilla just bought Caceres from Barca for 3 million. *starts tearing up*
OK, that made me very sad, BUT, I can watch Team Uruguay with Caceres, Nando, and all those fabulous Diegos in high definition on the Spanish-language channels starting yesterday in the Copa America. That perks me up a little.
Speaking of Uruguayans, how bout dat Cavani, huh?
I do not love him, but where would Napoli have been without him this season?
Bunny's second-most notable transfer of 2010-11 is......Quags to Juventus.
Quags saved Juve, and Juve saved Quags. He was fabulous, better than he's been, well, ever, and had pretty much cemented his spot on the Azzurri until Parma happened.
See this? This is a goal!
He was full of crazy, goofy goals. Without the Napoli calendar to worry about, he shed the skeeviness. He built on his new reputation for actually caring about WC2010 and won over new fangirlz. He has reportedly cut it out with all the blonde groupies (plz let that be true) and, well, it suddenly seemed this year like he was probably a decent guy.
He wasn't perfect. This one was not a goal, for example.
But this one was a goal!
Simply put, Quags moved to Turin and he blossomed and now everything is different.
There. So who is Bunny's most notable transfer of 2010-11?
Like you had to ask. It's the retirement of Roberto Rosetti.
He's quantum. There will never be another.
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