Today's issue is HAIR
The past season was notable for three important makeovers, and one makeover that desperately needed to happen but didn't.
Remember this guy? Whatta sweetie. He had some grooming issues and some fashion issues, sure.
But no matter how badly he needed to shave, he was always cute.
Things are different now.
And it's not just because anyone looks better posed next to Taddei.
I believe we have left BoyBand territory and passed firmly into the State of Shagability. Excellent move. Now: leave Palermo if you must, but stay in Italia where we can see you.
Woah, Bunny, who the fuck is that? I know. We never ever talk about Omar Milanetto. He doesn't even have a tag.
But don't even try to deny that you've looked at his tonsorial choices and asked "Why? Why on earth?" The man is 35, FFS.
Hm. I approve. I'm not saying he's hot or anything. I'm just saying that the new hair suggests the possibility that he might not be a troll, that's all.
That brings us to featured makeover number three.
I must admit--this one is controversial. His long, curly style has a lot of fans, even when he over-uses the straightening iron and the product and slicks it back.
Sometimes, it's unbelievably hot. Hubba hubba.
And sometimes not. Lord knows he's got enough pomade in there to keep the fringe neatly slicked back.
Other times, it's just bad.
This spring, he favored us with a shorter 'do. While I was heartily in favor of the change, many fangirlz preferred the long, messy hair to the short, sensible hair.
Whatever side of the fence you may be on, I think we have to agree that this was one of the more notable makeovers of 2010-11.
There were also some makeovers that should have happened and didn't. We can all think of people to nominate for this, and there is bound to be significant disagreement. I feel very confident in saying that pretty much all of us are waiting for the day that this guy goes to the barber.
I am not referring to Nocerino.
This is what my hair looks like when I haven't washed it for three days (only I never go that long without touching up the roots).
Clean him up and put him on stage and it isn't much better. (Nice shoes, tho.)
You know what it looks like to me? It looks like he's waiting for his hair to spontaneously form into dreadlocks without doing any of the things that white folks need to do to encourage dreds to form. And also like he gets a shower once a week when he goes to the shelter.
This is as good as it gets.
No. Actually, that's a lie because what's so maddening about all of this is that it doesn't have to be this way. We're all stuck with what we have. There's only so much Beppe Mascara can do with his glorious rat-faced self (&hearts). But this guy? Can do soooooo much better.
See? Brush it and pull it back with a headband and already he's presentable-ish.
See what's possible? Get your shit together, bb. You're killing me.
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