Thursday

Dear Professor The Man:

Here is a recap of today's events:

1. The Boys have test-driven both new dog beds and declare them to be acceptable.
2. Beatrice came.
3. The Boys have not figured out the step stool, but we're working on it.
4. I bought a kitchen gadget today that will make you happy. Hint: cheese
5. Something I ate out of the freezer today made me sick. Yes. Exactly. So I have tossed everything of indeterminate age, including the strange bread you bought at the Fresh Fields last weekend. Sorry, dude, but it was vaguely weird. Don't get that kind anymore, mkay? I feel better now, by the way.
6. I'm taping "Smallville" for you. Is that love, or what?
7. We're almost out of Kleenex, so please pick some up when you get me my fruit salad. Also, hand soap.
8. Eight, eight, I forget what eight was for.
9. I did unload the dishwasher, but I didn't like it.
10. It's insanely hot here. I hate hot weather. I'm waiting for crisp, breezy autumn weather. Would you please see what you can do about that?

More Wednesday

So we just went out for our post-dinner visit to the yard. Yarn Bandit made a beeline to a corner of the courtyard where he planted a rawhide tree a few months ago, and he tried to dig it up and eat. I declared that disgusting and had to pull him away.

Three minutes later, Kirby is nosing around looking for a good place to go, and he picks up a trail and follows it ..... to..... the same grody buried rawhide. SO MUCH EXCITEMENT! Followed by so much disappointment.

No months-old decayed buried and exhumed rawhides were consumed. They got greenies instead.

Plus, I emailed Blue Moon about my lost gift certificate. 6 minutes later, they sent me a replacement. Thanks for the birthday present.

Wednesday

Dear Professor The Man,



Here is the news du jour.



1) The PG County C.O.s are claiming that the alleged cop-killer whose death in custody was ruled a homicide by the M.E. was a suicide, not a murder. They are supposedly going to cooperate, but only one of them has been interviewed so far. Not that fresh evidence is needed or anything.



2) Dirtbunny went to the yarn store to buy yarn and didn't buy any. SHE BOUGHT NO YARN. Which is not to say that no money was spent at the yarn store, just not on yarn.



3) It's hot here and I'm still waiting for my fruit salad.



4) I ran the dishwasher all by myself. Whether I'll unload it is doubtful.



5) The coffee I made for myself was acceptable, but not as good as I usually get.


6) The Boys got packages in the mail:


Time elapsed between placement of new dog bed on the floor and the above photo: about 10 seconds. El Puto moves fast.



Kirby is still trying to figure out how they work. Here is the step stool pre-Bunny:

...and post-Bunny.

I hope you like the messy glue job and the blurry photo. We'll know if it works by the time you get home.

7) I was gonna pay your bar dues, but you didn't sign the form, so I just paid mine. I did, however, pay the phone bill.

8) The Boys want me to hurry up and finish so I can feed them.

9) I cleaned up the mess from the yarn crawl.

10) The gash on the side of the Volvo is still ugly. Real ugly. Yoogly. Real real yoogly.

Most sincerely yours,

Dirtbunny

More on Tuesday

Dear Professor The Man:

I just made coffee for tomorrow. It'll probably suck because I don't make coffee as well as you do. Yarn Bandit was just doing his begging dance for coffee beans. I guess the new rule is, if it comes in a bag and happens in the kitchen, it's food for beagles. Christina won Hell's Kitchen. Both Jen and Matt acted predictably assy. We're all going to bed now.

Love,
Bunny

Big Tuesday

To: Professor The Man, Pork Barrel University
From: Dirtbunny
Re: Household News

1. The thing today went fine. Kathy talked me through it, and all went well, as you predicted.
2. Afterwards, I was wiped out, so I went home early. The Volvo had an unfortunate encounter with a pylon in the parking garage. I really don't know how it happened, because I was driving, and I never have problems. Zero injuries, zero actual "damage," just a really ugly scrape/dent. You're welcome. Glad to be of service.
3. Kirby has been bathed and his ears cleaned. The right ear was grubby, but not as bad as it has been. The left ear was in good shape.
4. Tiki also had his ears cleaned. He had a big dried glob of ook in there that would explain the recent fussing with the ears, but it's gone now.
5. Post-ear-cleaning, they got rawhides, and we had Bone Wars for a while. I have managed to clean the kitchen all by myself.
6. Karen arrived, as planned, and The Boys are getting their walk.
7. Still no word from South Paws. I forgot to call them today, but I will tomorrow.
8. There's nothing on TV tonight. I'll probably listen to my IPod and knit until bedtime.
9. I'm working at home tomorrow. I'll be really really busy so whatever you do don't call me and bug me.
10. I would kind of like a nice bowl of fruit salad, so if you would bring me some in the next 20 minutes or so, that would be great.

Chain of Command

Somehow, probably from too much time sitting still in one place without getting up, Bunny has put her back out. The Man is getting ready to go to PBU again, so this is not a good time for Bunny to be (more) infirm (than usual). Thus, there might not be much blogging for a little while.

I leave you for a short while with this thought. Because I work for Uncle Sam, the lobby of my employer contains an official portrait of POTUS. Because my agency is the Teeny Tiny Government Entity (and does not have its own depression-era monstrosity of an office building with an ornate ceremonial lobby located far away from the worker bees), and I'm not special enough to warrant my own private bathroom, I have to go through the lobby every time nature calls. Granted, I don't have to share the bathroom with beagles when I'm at work, and there's no one scratching at the door or demanding to know what I'm doing when I'm in there. However, it means that I walk by POTUS.....



....every time I gotta go. It's like he's keeping track of my bathroom breaks. There's a security camera out there too, but that doesn't bother me as much as POTUS' portrait does, for some reason.

It lives in the bushes.

Dear The Man:


Remember how I've been trying to get you to notice the bird in our yew bush but you can never see him? Here he is:



Pretty cool, eh? That is a juvenile robin. I know this because "robin" is one of the birds I recognize:

• robin
• blue jay
• cardinal
• owl
• flamingo
• chicken
• duck
• Canadian Goose (aka around here as Dookie Makers)
• ostrich
• turkey

This one has red on him, so that makes him a robin. But he's still a baby. You can see his weird little baby feathers molting off his head, and his red hasn't completely filled in. Also, his mommy keeps coming by with food to stuff down his gaping maw.

It's been a good show. Sorry you missed it.

Perhaps my nephew Henry, who thinks

1. Aunt Dirtbunny is stupid, and
2. knitting is stupid

...will enlighten me with a more complete list of birds. I might be missing a few.