August in June

According to the National Weather Service, the 6 am temperature today for my zip code is 81 degrees (27 C).  It's not even July yet.  I don't think I'm gonna make it to September this year.

John Harkes is a moron

One of my friends suggested to me that John Harkes is not an idiot for referring to the mythical nation of Slovania because it's possible that he's using the Slovenian pronunciation.  I was skeptical at the time, and now I know it's wrong.  He's an idiot.  There is no Slovania, the German coach's nickname is not Joe Chee, and the great Italian goalkeeper is not known as John Loogey Buffon.  That's a trifecta of stuppid right there from a supposed football expert.  No way a guy who likes to watch Joe Chee and John Loogey and the Slovanian national team is so much more sophisticated than the rest of us that he knows something about the pronunciation of "Slovenia" that the rest of us do not know.

I love being right.

Also, the Italian team are the Azzurri, the English are the Three Lions, and the South Africans are the Bafana Bafana.  There are the Elephants, the All Whites, the Indomitable Lions, Les Fennecs, the Seleccao, the Oranje,  the Black Stars, all sorts of variations on the color blue, and the Socceroos.   The German National Football team is Die deutsche Fußballnationalmannschaft.  What does that mean?  It means "German National Football Team."  Those romantic Germans.   Imagine that on a poster, why dontcha? 




I love mocking the Germans.

Can you smell that?

If you ask Mr. D, he will almost invariably say "no."  His official position is that he can't smell anything.  So when you overhear him muttering this to the Yarn Bandit:

I can't stay mad at you, even though you reduce our environmental conditions to that of a hellhole.

...then you know you have a serious problem.  It's not like we don't clean up after the devilish urinator--we do--but he can be really sneaky, and it's hard to get it completely out.  Over time, and especially when it gets hot and humid, an above-and-beyond-the-call cleansing of the Hellhole is unavoidable.  And so, this morning, we rolled up the rugs, salvaged the salvageable rug pad and tossed the others, and took the rugs out to be professionally cleaned.  We will be back to the bare wood floors for three or four weeks.

Boing Boing Boing

Today is a Tigger day.


1. I have already done a day's worth of work. A productive Bunny is a happy Bunny, because as we all know, she measures her value according to her accomplishments. It's amazing what not being treated like a stupid person and suspected conspirator can do for one's morale.

2. Two of Bunny's teams are playing/have played today, so there will be excellent footie tonight.

3. I cut Kirby's toenails last night all by myself without having to pay anyone to do it for me and, although there was a shaky moment or two, I did not kill the dog. Hooray! Now he walks a lot quieter.

4. I got Collard Greens in my farm box yesterday. I soooooooo hate them and I was going to just face the truth and throw them out right away but then Ah hed an eyedeear. I'm going to braise them with olives and pancetta and sundried tomatoes and maybe less salt than I used last time I braised greens that way and maybe maybe maybe they'll be palatable! And even if I hate them, Mr. D will eat them because they will contain pork.

WC2010: Day Four

1. I lost my effing chapstick, but then I found it again.

2. I think I'm actually going to finish the laundry in one day, for once.

3. It's amazing how much work you can get done when you force yourself to avoid the toob and the interwebs.

4. If Mr. D really loved me, he would not be in the office today, and I would not have to wait until he got home to see what the Azzurri have done. Instead, he goes off to do his VERY IMPORTANT UNCLE SAM STUFF *blows raspberry* and leaves me here alone with my unchanneled energy.

More from Day 3

Item One: Tiki spent the day doing like he do.....

......forsaking the comforts that cost me real, actual money (dog beds, air conditioning), to find whatever bits of sun there are so he can bake himself.

WC2010: Day Three

1.   Dirtbunny is all wound up today. It's HHH outside (already), I'm tired and cranky, and Mr. D is making no move to get to the vet for Kirby's refills before they close. He's got about 75 minutes to make a move, or else I'm going to have to go myself. If I have to go myself, that means I have to get dressed, and I was planning on wearing pajama pants all day.

2.   Some critters are eating my 1.8 billion dollar landscaping, which I can't enjoy anyway because it is too hot and too buggy.

3.   God bless Martin Tyler. Of all the ESPN World Cup commenters, he is the only one who refuses to repeat the "one game changes everything" slogan forty times per broadcast, because he knows it makes him look like a tool and it annoys the viewers and because he's about the football, dammit.

4.   John Harkes, who apparently believes that Algeria is playing a mythical nation named "Slovania," makes me ashamed to be a Wahoo. He is a creep and an idiot for many reasons, but anyone with the education he has should be aware enough to learn the names of the non-United States nations playing in the world cup, especially if he is calling their game.

WC2010: Day One

It has already begun.  There will be madness, football, and football madness.  BRB  *doing Snoopy Dance*


Allora:  Bafana Banafa and El Tri.  Will be wearing both scarves when The Man gets home and we are allowed to partake of the DVR.

Oggi piu tardi:  Uruguay and Les Bleues.  South Amercian Serie A greatness (and Edison Cavani.  yawn) and the glorious Diego Forlan versus les francais du scandale, Franck (for underage whoring), Yoan Gourcuff (for improbably feminine eyelashes and perfect skin), and Thierry Henry (for cheating), not to mention evil coach Domenech, who relies a leetle too heavily on astrology for his coaching methods.  Was it Scorpios he refused to call up, or was it Tauri?  (It was Scorpios.)

Big Game Domani:  Unless you're dead or live off-grid like the Unabomber, you already know: The Three Lions and the USMNT.  I have a lot of, um, "issues" with certain sworn enemies of mine on both teams.  I've been promising not to support the USMNT, but on the other hand, it would be greatly satisfying to watch the arrogant English go down.  I spose in the end I am rooting for a good game with lots of excitement and manly, honorable competition.  I will make no predictions, but I will refer you to these guys , especially the Canadian one who cannot find a market for his beaver pelts, for the highlights of the various predictions.  My personal favorite, however, is "Landon Donovan's" prediction that the USMNT will win because the English are "weak sauce."

Come on over whenever you want, but please bring vino (you know what kinds we like).  Beer's good too.

Last Rant before WC2010

ISSUE NUMBER ONE:  Final Azzurri Cuts

The match against El Tri confirmed my suspicions that the Azzurri are afflicted with the Juve-suck of no effective attack and sleepy defending, although the match against the Swiss was much more encouraging.  There is definitely something missing from the squadra (and I don't mean you know who), but it's almost time to stop griping about the make-up of the team and support what there is (except Quags.  Never Quags.)   I can see a good-guy explanation for all of the cuts except one.  Rossi has been injured/inconsistent all season, though I would have preferred to see him stay.  There's no point in keeping both Borriello and Rossi, so one of them had to go.  Cossu who?  Yeah.  Fabi Grosso has been terrible all year and Antonio Candreva is probably not ready.  Salvatore Sirigu is a tough loss, but it was either him or Federico Marchetti, and Marchetti makes Gigi (and Dirtbunny) happy, so that's that. 

Mattia Cassani is my indefensible cut.  He's a fabulous fullback and he deserves to be on the squad.  Boo to Idiot il Mister for that.

Birthday wrap-up, plus Dirtbunny Rags on the Bianconeri

Mr. D's birthday





Honestly? I was going to finish my four-part series but now it's been so long ago I've forgotten what happened. I know there was rigatoni and meatballs, I remember a birthday cake, there are still some blueberry pancakes leftover, he got his present geez three weeks ago now, and oh yeah, I made some god-awful pina coladas with leftover coconut cream from the coconut birthday cake. And he got to do what he loves more than anything in the world: sit on his ass and do nothing.



The Zebras: They suck


The Bianconeri put a bullet through the head of the 2009-2010 season and put us all out of our misery. They finished seventh, managing to squeak into a Europa League qualifier spot through the operation of some obscure rule I don't understand. It was apparently the worst season ever, depending on how you analyze the statistics. Let's see. The evil suits sacked Ciro (sob) and his replacement was a bona fide idiot who did no better, and who had so little authority that he allowed his captain (you know who that is) to have a big public righteous temper tantrum about a moronic substitution right there on the pitch, which means it was on international TV for everyone to see. Replacement Coach has only two things going for him: (1) ADP was right, and coach changed his mind about the substitution just before Claudio was stretchered off, meaning that Juve actually got to finish the match with 11 men players instead of the ten there would have been if the sub had gone through; and (2) he's gone now. Juve has a new coach now. Also: new suits. Now if only they had better players.....