Monday, January 24, 2011

Old Lady Post: Um....Ouch. Plus, Breaking Gio News



Sampdoria 0:0 Juventus





Any questions?


Oh boy.  This was a match in which only the brutes and Pepe stood out.  There was kicking and screaming, pushing and shoving, eye-poking and hair-pulling, shootings and stabbings, military coups and counter-revolutions, and one poor excuse for Zorro in a tricked-out mask saving the day.  OK, not really, but this was a crazy physical match that probably has every single player for both sides in the whirlpool as we speak.  Poor babies.  And the bit about the Zorro is true.



Gigi started in goal, which is excellent news, but has the unpleasant side effect of resulting in Marcostorari going to Genoa for "discussions."  Boo.




Gigi was perfect.  OK, so actually, he had nothing to do.  Pazzini had one golden perfect sitter that would have beaten Gigi by a mile, but Pazzo blew it, so Gigi emerges untarnished.



I love how the armbands for Juve's captains all have initials and so forth embroidered on them like it's actually something special to be captain.  At Milan, it looks like someone tore a pillowcase into strips and wrote "C" on it with a magic marker.

Traore started at leftback.  At one minute in, Mannini fouled him and thrust himself onto the ground squirming and wailing.  Traore was the one who was fouled, but Traore stayed on his feet, and it turned out Traore was the one who was injured.  Traore went off in the second minute (that's right:  minute 2) for Grosso.



Grosso is growing a beard, and I have to say it works for him so far.  Also please note the fashion fail:  away jerseys with home pants and black socks.  Never a good omen.



Mannini is a tough sumbitch.


Gio and Leo anchored the center.  No pictures, of course.



Now that's how to wear a Zorro mask.


Gio had a mixed game.  He did his usual much-appreciated awesomeness, but he also had some dodgy tackles.  One led to a yellow card, and one on Kiko in the box could have led to a PK.  Leo, on the other hand, was uniformly terrriff.






Marcolino started at right back.



He gave us his usual, including one frighteningly bad Krap Klearance that created a lot of unnecessary drama in the box before eventually amounting to nothing.

Marchisio started on the left wing, and Albertino and Momo partnered in the center.



Despite his usual face of terror, Albertino was OK.  He worked hard in the first half tracking back and helping Motta double-team.





Momo was a beast.  He was in there tackling people, knocking them down, winning possession.....not immediately giving possession away every time.  He was made of hustle.



Plus, he got into it with Dogfish by giving Palombo a serious knee to the ribs.



Dogfish gave it back a few minutes later by taking a whack at Momo's knee.  BTW, does Dogfish's concentration face remind anyone else of the Japanese crab that has a shell pattern that looks like a Samurai face?  Anyone?


Milos started on the right.



He had nothing.  He tried, but he could not outrun the defense or LDN screaming at him from the touchline the whole match.




Milos came off in the 56th for Alessa.  Wait.  If Alessa didn't start, then who played up top?  You know it had to be a 4-4-2, because it's never anything else.


Well, Amauri was prima punta, and that went exactly as well as you think it did.



I've never had a lot of faith in Amauri, but I've always nurtured a tiny, secret hope that he'll snap out of...whatever his problem is.  That's all done.  He's not getting it back, at least not at Juve.  I'm finished with Amauri.   Really.  He had nothing, and he only got more and more sloppy and frustrated as the game went on.





And he fails at the Zorro mask.  You basically have two choices.  One is the Gio option--plain, unadorned safety equipment, simple and elegant,  like an exquisitely cut Armani dress.



The other is the Pazzo option--gaudy and over-the-top, like an insane Christian Lacroix couture gown that you can't wear anywhere on this planet.



This middle-of-the-road approach is like a dollar store knock-off, not Hello Kitty but Greetings Ferret!   BTW, If you can't look at this at work because of all the disruptive laughing off of your ass, then we have a LOT in common besides Gio-lust.



So who started at Seconda Punta?  Who?  For the love of Mike WHO?




Pepe.  Seconda Punta.  Why the fuck not?  Truth?  He did a banging job.  I spose he started off as a striker, and he slipped back into it yesterday easily enough.    If only we had a plausible option at Prima Punta.



I'm really impressed with his versatility.  He's not my first choice in any position, but I like him as a utility player and he's been consistently decent lately.



I still don't <i>like</i> him much, but I'm starting to respect him.  A little.


So Krasic goes off in the 56th, Pepe drifts back to the winger slot, and ADP comes in as Seconda Punta.  He brought a lot of energy and creativity to the attack, but could not find the goal, and got kicked around a lot.



Also, he has the flu.



He shouldn't have played at all, if you ask me.  Martinez came on for Albertino in the 84th and he was working miracles that would eventually have paid off if he had more time in the match.  LDN should have left Ale at home and played Martinez a lot earlier.  Oh well.  And so Juve get another draw and slip to 6th in the table.  *sigh*


In other news, the latest mercato rumors have Andrea Barzagli signing on tomorrow.  Wiki lists him as a Juve player already.



Aaaaannnnnnnnnnnnddd, Gio is awesome, but you already knew that.



He won Defender of the Year at the Italian Calcio Awards tonight, along with Walter Samuel, who flew in from his convalescence at the spa on Busted Knee Island.  I'm sure this is the first of many more to come.


Next match is Thursday at home against Roma in the Coppa Italia, then Sunday at home against Udinese.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Have you seen the John Cleese explanation of the off sides rule on you tube? Too funny!