So today I have to do two things I hate:

1. Take Kirby to the vet for his annual dental exam. They put him under for this, so it means dropping him off in the morning and picking him up at night. I don't mind the vet, but I don't like the part where I leave him. Neither does he. It's best to go quickly with as little drama as possible.
2. Go to the shrink. I don't like hauling all the way out there to The Land of Sprawl where her office is. I don't like talking about the depression with her. Do I feel better with the extra meds? I don't know. What is better to someone who has been depressed for more than 20 years? I still feel depressed and exhausted each and every day, and I'm probably not going to do the laundry or other urgent chores today because I just can't face being an adult. Yes, I suppose I'm feeling better, but there's a lot of room for further improvement. How does one quantify this? I do not feel the way I imagine that normal non-depressed people feel. Does that mean I need more/different meds? How the hell am I supposed to know?

Tangent: There was a documentary on PBS called "Depression: Out of the Shadows" about a month ago. One of the talking heads remarked on the usual treatment plan for depression. Here, try these pills, and if they work maybe you'll feel a little improvement in 6 to 8 weeks. This treatment plan is not tolerated for any other disease. One expects to see improvement from the treatment more or less right away; 6-8 weeks is not acceptable. That has stayed with me.

Anyway, so I had to do two things I hate today, so to reward myself for my amazing fortitude, I went to the yarn store today. And I bought two books and some sock yarn and some buttons so I can finish Poppy's sweater and some stitch holders because I could use some more for the teal sweater and I also got some ribbon for The Bean's dress but that wasn't at the yarn store that was at the fabric store and I ordered a kit to make a Colinette Absolutely Fabulous throw and it will be here in about 10 days and I'm so excited I could explode. Not that you could tell from my sentence structure. The kit comes in 20 colors and I like about 18 of them and it was really hard to choose but I couldn't get all of them because that would be a mortgage payment and plus I didn't take the credit card because I knew I was going to the yarn store and I purposefully left the credit card home specifically so I would be unable to spend the mortgage payment on yarn. However, I have an appointment at the day spa soon, and when I'm done there, I could go to the other yarn store...... never mind. All of this excitement has worn me out. I'm not sure I have the energy for another trip to the yarn store. Whew.

A message from Tiki

My name is Tiki. Will you rub my belly? Bunny is here today, but the other dog is gone. This is good because I like Bunny, and today she is giving me extra treats and I don't even have to work hard to steal them from stupid old Kirby. He's too slow and he's always on my side of the sofa. I hate it when he touches me. I think he must be bad. That's probably why he gets all those extra baths and I don't. Yesterday we went to the dog park and he got humped. What a loser! Not me! I don't get humped.



I don't know why she calls me El Puto. I think that's a made-up word. Just cuz I want to be loved doesn't make me bad, does it? I don't know why she has that thing about my accidents. I'm real good now. Plus, it's not my fault. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Will you rub my belly?



I like it here because I get to come inside and sometimes I get to go outside and there are sunny places to nap in and lots of toys and grass to roll in and squirrels to watch. They feed me pretty good but I think they should give me more treats and plus they should give me what they are having. Sometimes if I sit there while Bunny is eating and put my ears up and stare at her real cute, sometimes she gives me some. Not Food Guy, though. Will you rub my belly? I can stare at Food Guy all the time and nothing works. Also, Food Guy keeps sitting in my spot on the sofa but I know how to get him up. All I gotta do is get up and wander around. He thinks I'm gonna pee and maybe I will, maybe I won't, but if I act like I'm gonna, then I get to go outside PLUS I get a treat when I come back in PLUS I can steal back my spot on the sofa from dumb old Food Guy.

They Call Him El Puto

Yes, Bunny got trained yesterday. Meet her teacher:







Recognize this?

Sure you do. That's a hotel conference room chair. They're backtastic! So Bunny got there and spread out her training materials:




That's a sleeve, a dress, two socks, a cuppa Joe, a The New Republic, and a training binder. Then Bunny put her camera away so she wouldn't freak out the other trainees. We'll talk more about what Bunny accomplished some other time.

Today was a work at home day. Bunny dropped her mechanical pencil and didn't pick it up right away, and this happened:




No, it didn't get those chew marks upon impact with the floor, and it didn't just pop its spring like that. It had help. From him:

You may think he looks pretty innocent in this photo, but the Truth is that he has commandeered The Man's place on the sofa. He's balled himself up tightly, almost defensively. His body language says

MINE MINE MINE

and he means it. See how no one's touching him? The Man has retreated to a chair on the other side of the room. If Kirby breathes too loud and disturbs His Majesty's slumber, there will be growling.

It's a little hard to believe that three hours ago, he was a sad, frightened, tiny little thing desperately looking for safety from the rain. Not such a tough guy then.

Another Thunderstorm

Rush hour here in the Nation's Capital means a good chance of thunderstorms every day during the summertime. My meteorologist buddy told me it has to do with warm air coming east over the blue ridge and hitting our humidity, or something like that. YB is no fan of thunderstorms. Before his idiot former owners gave him to the pound, they used to keep him tied up outside all the time. I'm guessing that he's experienced a few too many thunderstorms up close and personal, and he isn't completely confident that he's safe in here unless he can figure out a way to actually climb inside my skin, which he's not allowed to do. The next best thing is to get as close as he can on the outside of the Dirtbunny. When I am at the computer, like now, that means sitting on my feet and trembling.

Oddly, Kirbypants will hide from the storm if I'm not nearby, but if he can sit down next to me, he'll just go to sleep. Bunny is here. All is well. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Breaking News

Dateline: Suburbia. June 15, 2008.

Our crazy neighbor across the street has finally taken down the 48 inch Christmas wreath that has been hanging on the front of his house between the second-story windows since the day after Thanksgiving. This means that Christmas 2007 is finally and officially over.

Carry on.

El Futbol

Why is MLS so very very boring? And why, if MLS is so boring, is European pro soccer so exciting? We are watching Euro 2008 on ESPN2. We record the weekday games on the DVR and watch them when we get home, and we are enthralled. We loved World Cup 2006 and we tried watching some U.S. soccer, but it sucked, so we quit. These euros, however, are thrilling.
Also, why are sweaty soccer players so utterly and completely hot? In real life, I see a sweaty man and I want him to take a shower before he gets anywhere near me. On TV, however, give me a sweaty, 193 cm Italian soccer player and my reaction is pretty much the opposite.

The Boys are less enthralled:

Do you still think they look alike?

Back to the Lists

May was the month of no lists. I can faithfully report that ratcheting waaaaaay back on the lists correlates nicely with improved mood. I have been feeling better on the whole, even though my shrink canceled my appointment and can't see me again for weeks ("That's okay. I'm not that suicidal.") Not every day has been great, but I'm sleeping better, generally, I'm feeling better, generally, and I'm a little more willing to interact with my fellow humans, generally. I've had a sudden burst of productivity at work that I intend to ride for as long as it lasts. I've got some seminars coming up that will take me out of the office a little and provide a nice break in the routine. I never come up the front steps to the house so I'm blissfully unaware of the dreadful weeds overtaking the front yard Chez Nous, and because I don't know that they're there, they don't bother me.

May is over. Now we are in June. June heralds a return to the lists in a gentle way, because there are things around here that need to get done. This is my list for the weekend:

1. Food: plan menus, make grocery list, send The Man to the Fresh Fields, put groceries away. He buys the groceries. When he goes, we spend less, we end up with less junk, and Bunny doesn't waste time being distracted by all the fun food stuff on display.
2. Wash bedspread. It is covered in dog hair and I need a big, clean, flat space where I can do #3.
3. Block Poppy's sheep blanket. Also, write about it and take some pictures.
4. Cook: If I am going to have something decent for dinner this week, I'll need to do some things in advance this weekend. For example, if I make a french potato salad, hard boil some eggs, steam some haricots verts, and make a vinaigrette, I can have a salade nicoise for dinner this week. If I don't make enchiladas this weekend, there won't be any after work on Thursday. If I don't clean and cook the broccoli, I might not eat any vegetables this week.
5. Catch up on some blogging. It's fun and good for me. Even if I only have three readers, plus The Man, if I remind him that I have a blog.
6. Cast on the second stupid blue ribbed sock and get the cuff started. I don't like it anymore, but it won't be over with if I don't get started. See how abandoning the project entirely is not even an option?
7. Give Kirby his bath. He's fiddling with his ears and chewing his paws a little too much.
8. Clear off my desk. I need a clean desk. I can't tolerate clutter.
9. Discuss with The Man Friday's transportation plan for stitch and pitch. Shall we drive or Metro? Park at the office and Metro from there? Do we want to carpool with friends? Do we want to leave straight from work or come home first? My friends want to know, and The Man needs be consulted.
10. Watch last night's episode of Battlestar Gallactica so I can talk about it with Dana on Monday.

That's enough, I think. Let's check back later and see how she's doing.

Uh oh. I smell poop. There shouldn't be anything poop-smelling in here. Time to investigate.