So today I have to do two things I hate:

1. Take Kirby to the vet for his annual dental exam. They put him under for this, so it means dropping him off in the morning and picking him up at night. I don't mind the vet, but I don't like the part where I leave him. Neither does he. It's best to go quickly with as little drama as possible.
2. Go to the shrink. I don't like hauling all the way out there to The Land of Sprawl where her office is. I don't like talking about the depression with her. Do I feel better with the extra meds? I don't know. What is better to someone who has been depressed for more than 20 years? I still feel depressed and exhausted each and every day, and I'm probably not going to do the laundry or other urgent chores today because I just can't face being an adult. Yes, I suppose I'm feeling better, but there's a lot of room for further improvement. How does one quantify this? I do not feel the way I imagine that normal non-depressed people feel. Does that mean I need more/different meds? How the hell am I supposed to know?

Tangent: There was a documentary on PBS called "Depression: Out of the Shadows" about a month ago. One of the talking heads remarked on the usual treatment plan for depression. Here, try these pills, and if they work maybe you'll feel a little improvement in 6 to 8 weeks. This treatment plan is not tolerated for any other disease. One expects to see improvement from the treatment more or less right away; 6-8 weeks is not acceptable. That has stayed with me.

Anyway, so I had to do two things I hate today, so to reward myself for my amazing fortitude, I went to the yarn store today. And I bought two books and some sock yarn and some buttons so I can finish Poppy's sweater and some stitch holders because I could use some more for the teal sweater and I also got some ribbon for The Bean's dress but that wasn't at the yarn store that was at the fabric store and I ordered a kit to make a Colinette Absolutely Fabulous throw and it will be here in about 10 days and I'm so excited I could explode. Not that you could tell from my sentence structure. The kit comes in 20 colors and I like about 18 of them and it was really hard to choose but I couldn't get all of them because that would be a mortgage payment and plus I didn't take the credit card because I knew I was going to the yarn store and I purposefully left the credit card home specifically so I would be unable to spend the mortgage payment on yarn. However, I have an appointment at the day spa soon, and when I'm done there, I could go to the other yarn store...... never mind. All of this excitement has worn me out. I'm not sure I have the energy for another trip to the yarn store. Whew.