Old Lady Post: The End in Europe

 Juventus 1:1 Manchester City



zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


Europa League has come and gone for the zebras, who finished with an unbeaten overall record and a measly six points from six draws in their group.  The final meaningless match against Manchester City was probably even less exciting than you would have guessed knowing that the result makes no difference to either side.  Soooooooo boring.



Joe Hart didn't play.  In fact, Man City left him at home along with Balotelli Mario, Tevez, both of the Toures, David Silva, Kolarov, Gareth Barry, Nigel de Jong, and would-be zebra Adebayor.  See, the result didn't matter to them, either.

Anyhow, training:




Ants in a circle.





Ants in a double line.





Marcel Buchel, Austrian midfielder from the Primavera.




Vincenzo Camilleri.  You know what?  He's actually pretty good-looking, and that's some pretty credible stubble for a teenager.




Giorgio.




Milos.




Nicola Legrottaglie.





Alessa.



Oh dear.  Dirtbunny gave up on basketball in 2001 when Travis Watson changed his hair, thereby causing the Wahoos to lose to  twelve-seed Gonzaga in the first round of the NCAA tournament.  Hoops was never the same for me after that.  *dabs at tears*




So let's see.....that's ADP, of course, and that's Gryga in back, cos he hangs with the captain.  Is the guy in front That Stalker Pepe?  Is Pepe bothering the captain again?




SQUEE!  It's BONIPERTI!



Awww, so little!





Bunny does not know what to make of this.
Melo = good.  Not Ciro = hmph.
Melo + Not Ciro = brain cramp
brb *runs off for some Advil*


So there was a presser, and this is the Il Mister that Juve has out representing it in the world:


that's the worst mustache I've seen since Joey Barton


Who's today's trained monkey?



It's Nick!



There used to be rumors that he was going to Bari in January, since his contract is up in the summer, but I haven't heard anything recently.


Guess who else had a presser?





Paddy!




Mancini, with stubble, popped collar, and horn-rimmed glasses.  Boy, do I miss Ciro.




OK, I hear you.  You're sick of the bullshit so I'll move on.


Checkit!  GFB has himself a banner!





And so we begin the match out on the left with Traore.  Because this was Europa League, Manninger! started in goal, and because he's Manninger! and the match was not played in Austria, no one cared.





Traore only got his picture taken when Shaun Wright-Phillips was around.


Gryga started on the right.



Yeah, I don't know.  He was part of the boring.


hey Paddy

There doesn't seem to have been a central defense, according to Daylife, but I can tell you that Gio and Nick renewed their old partnership.  Oh wait!  There they are!



Nick isn't the same player he was when he was starting regularly back before Cannavaro came back.  Like I need another reason to be mad at Cannavaro.  All that and he killed Nick too!


Camilleri came on in the 57th.



Crap.  There it is.



See, Jo blew past Gio and went right between Nick and Camilleri to put it in the net.  I'm not sure whose fault it was.  They all looked slow to me.



It really isn't fair.  Jo has sucked pretty consistently for a long time.  Why does he have to get one of his rare goals against the Zebes?  Hey there Manninger!

On to the midfield.  Pepe started on the left wing.



Let's talk about the tights for a minute.  We are generally opposed to tights.  When it's minus 12 and snowing in Poland, the rules are different, but on an ordinary winter day in Turin?  Well, you don't see Gio wearing tights, do you?  Or Claudio.


Nick wears them, but he's old.  Traore wears them, but he's French.  *eyeroll*



What's Pepe's excuse?



Melo doesn't need them.





So we had God's Favorite Brazilian watching the center....



...jumping higher than the old people....





..squirming, shoving, and working.  As was Momo.





Now wait a minute.



The four central mids on the pitch were Melo & Momo for the Zebes and Paddy and Milner for the Citizens.  That's a lot of meat.  Four guys who specialize in sticking the boot in.



No wonder the match was so boring.  There was no creativity in the midfield.


Milos was out on the wing.




I remember absolutely nothing about him.



I don't think he's ever going to fix that hair.  I figure he's had the same haircut since he was four and he has the delusion that it looks as good now as it did then.




Time to take an enemy break.



That man wears a coat as well as Special.  I know some of you watch at least a little EPL and have heard the UK announcers go on about how Mancio ties his scarf oh-so-stylishly. The man can wear a scarf, but he's not exactly Coco Chanel, you know?  I suppose if your managers are guys like Avram Grant, Owen Coyle, and 'Arry Redknapp, then anyone who doesn't look like a complete tool in a dinner jacket is a virtual walking miracle.



Once again, I find myself missing Ciro.


I know there's at least one Paddy fangirl out there.  Here you go:




And now on to the forwards.



Capitano!



I know:  tights.  He's old, remember?



He was pretty much the only one out there creating, but if I have to listen to UK announcers refer to him as "Evergreen" one more time, I'm going to puke.





He went the whole match with his hair sticking up in back.  Hat head, presumably.  &hearts


&hearts &hearts &hearts


Look who got his senior debut!



Filippo Boniperti, grandson of you-know-who.  I hope he loves the game, and I hope he isn't cursed by familial expectations.  *pats him*  He looks very small to me.


But Filippo was a sub.  Who was the other starting forward?



Niccolo Giannetti, making his second appearance and first start for the seniors.



I don't remember anything about him either, except for this one thing:



A goal in his first start.  Say thank you to Alex, son.  He made the goal for you.



Boing boing boing.  Say thank you to Alex.




So first he tore off towards the dugout to celebrate with all his homies from the Primavera.  There are no pictures of this, which is just as well because they were all wearing hats and parkas and looked exactly the same.  Don't forget to acknowledge il Capitano.  You know what?  While Giannetti was running off to the dugout with all the seniors running after him, one man turned and went in the other direction to hug ADP.  That would be Gio.  &hearts



Hee!  I scored a goal!   Always acknowledge the assist man.  Go say thank you to Ale.



Time for a celebratory huddle.  Hey buddy!  Don't be an ungrateful wanker.  Appreciate he who fed you!



Listen kid.  You wanna be like Kaka, giving thanks to Our Lord and ignoring Xabi Alonso?  Is that how you want to be known?  Go thank your captain for his fine assist, without which you would not have scored.


check out Alessa's hair sticking up in back

There you go.  You have been eye-twinkled by ADP, you lucky bastard.

Well anyway, it's over and Juventus can now concentrate on finishing fourth or better in the league.  And maybe the Coppa on January 13.  Next match is tomorrow--Sunday December 19--away against Chievo Verona.  I think the donkeys are a tricky team.  They have a good record against Juve, and Juve is tired and broken.  Melo is suspended, Claudio and ADP are hurt, Aquilani and Motta are doubtful, and Lanzafame has been banished again (and is rumored to be leaving in January).


My next post is going to be a few days late because it's the week before Christmas and I'm a knitter.  Translated for you non-knitters, that means I have a whole bunch of knitted shit that I have to finish in a big hurry because I always think I have more time than I actually do.  You can't type and knit at the same time unless you're Vishnu.

And now I'm in the mood for a little Dogfish.




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