Catania 1: 3 Juventus
Last season, it was the home loss to Catania, then at the bottom of the table, that sent the Bianconeri on their downward spiral, at least that's how I remember it, so I approached this match with some skepticism. We all know that the zebras are going to collapse. It's just a question of when. Could it be Catania would again be the spoiler of zebra dreams?
Well, no. Maxi Lopez is kind of sucking right now, and the remaining Argies of the Elefanti were non-magical. On the other end, Quags was wide awake, Marco Motta sat on the bench where he was unable to fuck up too badly, Of Blacks decided to actually defend the right-hand side, and our boys bounced back from a bullshit call rather than collapsing in despair. This is oddly encouraging and that scares me. I suspect we are being lulled into a sense that it is possible to compete well with Lazio this weekend, so that we can be disappointed all the more when it doesn't happen. Plus, I hate Lichsteiner. On the other hand, maybe everyone is really going on strike this time.
On we go. But first, training photos.
I'm not sure I have ever seen a more flattering photo of Brazzo. Aw!
As for Camilleri, I'm sure his mother thinks he's handsome, and he still has time to grow into his looks. And his height. Sorry to be mean, but he reminds me of a non-cute guy at work who is not cute at all.
And this is Marco Cosantino, a Primavera goalkeeper called into emergency service as Juve's number three, since the suits sent Carlo Pinsoglio to toil away in Lega Pro Prima Divisione. I have no idea if he's any good and I hope Marcostorari stays healthy so we never have to find out.
MANNINGER!
God's Favorite Brazilian. I suppose God is not opposed to bottle porn.
And of course Milos.
ADP seems to have been camera-shy, so the photogs followed Milos all over.
He doesn't seem to have minded.
Nick! He lives!
Life without Quags is becoming impossible to contemplate, despite the return last week of Napoli-calendar man.
Annnnnnd, Marcostorari, nice and muddy.
Because this was not a Europa League match, Marcostorari played in goal.
There are, as usual, not enough photos of him, and no action shots this week. I think this one is from a goal celebration. What a pretty smile!
Grosso started on the left. He spent most of the match playing up high and neglecting his defensive duties.
He has children and so presumably has convinced Mrs. Grosso to sleep with him, but I have to wonder if he pulls these sorts of faces when he's sexxing. Cos me? I would laugh my ass off.
Yeah. Catania came in from the left and threatened and Grosso performed a Krap Klearance that Morimoto recovered and put in the goal. A bonus side effect of the Krap Klearance is that it took Grosso away from his man and freed Morimoto.
That's him there, flat on his back, failing. Gio can only cover but so much of the field at any given time.
Speaking of whom, Gio was everywhere and did everything. His contract expires in 2015. I hope the suits re-sign him soon. The squadra cannot do without him, and neither can the tifosi.
Srsly. That is one special schnozz he's got on him. Zlatan has a big one, but Gio's is big and weird. &hearts
Leo got noticed! Once.
Rounding out the back line was Sorensen, playing right back with much more competence and finesse than anyone else has lately.
Although the zebes ostensibly played in a 4-4-2, at times it looked like a 3-5-2 with Sorensen as an extra center back and Grosso up high as an incompetent winger. Call it whatever you like. This kid is a keeper. Nick should probably start worrying now.
Even though Grosso played on the left wing most of the match, Pepe started on the left of midfield as the actual winger. He's looking a lot less, well, stupid out there the last few matches. Frenzied activity is not the same thing as footballing excellence, unless you're in the EPL. Maybe he's spent his time on the bench thinking things over and deciding on a more efficient approach. Whatever. So far, it's paying off.
Pepe went off in the 82nd for Brazzo and HARK there is a picture! Hiya Brazzo. *blows kisses*
Claudio was suspended for an accumulation of yellows, so there was no controversy over who would take the center mid positions.
Melo's hair is back to normal. PTL
Gee. Other than that, "GFB's hair back to normal -- Gold Star," my notes don't mention him at all.
OK, then. Well, Gold Star for improved hair.
Isn't it great how no one even expects him to do something violent and assy anymore? He's really turned it around. When you consider that most of his problems were problems of the mind rather than of the body, it's even more impressive that he used his head to fix his head.
OK, now. Please go show Amauri how to do it. I'm not even sure he has a last chance left.
Speaking of guys who have turned it around, Albertino had a busy day.
He played the entire width of the pitch and especially covered for Milos on defense.
He also delivered a beautiful long ball that led to the
And he's got a farmer tan on his legs! Hee! My only problem with Aquilani is----did you think I was going to complain about him being dimwitted? Nah. I don't know for sure that he's dumb, but if he is, then the football pitch is a better career choice for him than, say, architecture, surgery, or journalism. My only problem with Aquilani right now isn't really about him--it's that I would gladly start Claudio, Melo, and Albertino in the center in every match, but there's no room for that in Of Black's magical 4-4-2, which means either they don't all play or one of them plays out of position. Boo.
Albertino came off in the 57th for Momo. He was quite pissy about it actually. And there are no Momo photos, for once.
That brings us to Milos. But first, please notice in the background how nice Albertino looks with his hair shorter and parted on the side.
I can't remember diddly about Milos except that Albertino covered for him on D, as I mentioned.....
...which must mean his defending was, well, the usual.....
...and he shanked a sitter in the 93rd minute. Hm. *goes back to look at match report again*
So, the match reports speak of a few shots saved or missed, a few good crosses, and getting herded up the right and over the goal line.
I'm going to conclude that Milos put in a good day but happened not to be involved in the goals. Except for the sitter he missed in the 93rd. That just sucked.
Not Ciro let Vincenzo go the whole match. His form and endurance are improving.
That tall hair and widow's peak may be trying to look a little Hamsic-ish, but all I'm seeing is Eddie Munster. Still, it's an improvement over the long hair from 2-3 years ago.
Ick? Although he does look kinda sweetly shy instead of his usual scowly grumpus.
Vince was instrumental in the first and
&hearts
TANGENT: I went to The Italian Store near my house (that's its name and it's the only place to get decent gelato and frozen ravioli and the only place that still has a good supply of cheap Barbera before the prices went up, but I have to go to the wine shop if I want guanicale), and they were stocked full of pannetone and other such things (I'm getting pretty good at food words; I know the difference between mandorle, noci, and noccioli
Quags started up top with Vince. He was a busy boy and scored a
Alessa came on for Quags at the end. Hooray, right? But it was an away match and so I might have let Ale rest and given Lanza a few minutes instead. He's never going to get any better if he doesn't get a chance! Hellooooo! Suits? Are you listening?
And so, ze goals.
The first one came from--ugh--Pepe on the volley off a cross from Vincenzo.
Pro: A goal! Hooray!
Con: Pepe's run of good form, if it continues, will force Dirtbunny to re-evaluate her firmly-held beliefs about his suckitude. Bunny does not like to re-evaluate her firmly-held beliefs.
Aww. Melo's there to give some love.
OK. Getting easier to forget that scoring goals=good.
Congratulations and thank you, but you are not number one.
Then again, getting the first goal of the match is crucial if you play for a team vulnerable to the shame spiral.
No. Just can't do it. I acknowledge his valuable contribution, but I do not love him.
So after the big prance, Pepe made a special trip to the dugout to hug his boo.
Bad news: His boo is ADP.
Good news: There are no pictures. Also, I've come to accept that this sort of thing is bound to happen from time to time, so I am now prepared. When Alessa comes home, the first thing he gets is a bath with the special soap. Then, when he's decontaminated, we say hello properly.
It's hard to blame Pepe for this. After all, who wouldn't do the same in his shoes?
Then after two minutes there was the thing with Grosso and Morimoto *sigh* and then shortly after that, Quags scored his first goal of the match. However, Damato, that moron, did not see that the ball bounced off the cross bar and down into the goal--clearly over the line--before Andujar batted it away. The goal didn't count. Thus was Quags denied his hat trick. Boo. BOOOOOOOO!
Within two minutes, Quags made it all better by scoring goal number
Albertino sent a long ball in to Vince and Vince put a perfect cross right at Quags' feet.
Excellent. The zebes were back in the lead.
Giving props to the assist man, who is not smiling.
Of course he's not smiling. What is there to be happy about? *eye roll*
The next goal came from distance at minute 58.
You know what's weird? Quags' goals are frequently weird. You know: Where the fuck did that come from? How the hell did that go in? Both of these were nice, normal goals that required skill, but had no suspicion of devilment.
I'm not sure who Quags is chasing down this time.
*mind is wandering off, courtesy of cheryl_bites, to places where no one's mind should ever go*
ew MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!
It's not Momo this time.
OK. This is new.
He's a Quagplane with a mouth full o' spooge.
Oh, God. CHERYL! *shakes fist*
My imagination is off to the grossest possible place, and look! It's Pepe who is most interested in taking a little trip with Quaggie. Ew ew ew ew
The Quags has landed and is ready to receive his accolades.
...which Pepe is happy to offer.
Will they hump their crotches together? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT CHERYL!
Whew. Chaste distance there between junk and junk.
*weeps softly* I'm out of brain bleach. Can someone pass me some please? It's an emergency.
Shake it off Bunny. You can do it.
Ahem. So they stroll off arm-in-arm and come across a Giorgio making his special little fist-pump/congratulatory RAWR face.
And then there are cuddles.
LOLOL Quags wants Gio to back off.
Gio: *smooch smooch smooch*
Quags: "Get off me man"
So Gio kisses are ew but getting your cheeks pinched by Grosso is delightful? There are some things I'll never understand. Also: look at Quags' smile! Napoli Calendar Man is gone!
Group hug! Yeah, so these are out of sequence because Albertino had gone off before the last goal. Whatever. Who's complaining?
The Iaquinta Smiles! sorta
And what else? Um..... Marcostorari got a yellow for wasting time and I'm still torqued about the disallowed goal, but that seems a little greedy under the circumstances, so.... OK *reluctant sigh* bygones.
At the very very end: Group Jump! I love these things.
LOL Leo!
Hey there bb. I've got the tub and the special soap ready for you, and there's polenta taragna with sausage and mushrooms for dinner, and we can light a fire in the fireplace and watch Champion's League if you like or just go to bed early.
Howdy Felipe! Good job today! Thanks for fixing your hair.
Next match is Sunday against Lazio, assuming no strike.
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