Il Mister is grateful that his hair plugs turned out well.
We're slowly getting caught up here. Here are the salient facts: The Zebes have yet to lose, they got an ugly win against Lecce yesterday, and they haven't offloaded Amauri yet. Before I get to any of that, though, I hope your enjoy another "best of"-style half-assed Tardy!spam recapping the last three matches of December.
Roma 1:1 Juventus
Poor Quags hasn't been getting enough playing time and he's gotten himself all confused about what he's supposed to be doing. Sorry, sweetie, but only Celts can pull off Lord of the Dance stuff and, even then, not really.
DDR scored a lovely goal that, on any other day, would have made me very happy.
Gigi saved a Totti penalty kick.
Andrea, among others, was stoked about Gigi's brilliance, but Gigi was having none of it. He knew perfectly well that Totti's PK was weak sauce and he couldn't accept full credit for keeping it out. Also? Juve hadn't yet pulled three points from the match, so what was there to celebrate? Plus, Gigi has chronic depression, and so do I, so that means I can read his mind from thousands of miles away even though I've never met him (how lucky you are for this inside scoop). He's thinking, "So what? Doesn't matter anyway. I'll never be good enough and everyone likes that asshole Iker Casillas better than me no matter what I do. What kind of name is "Iker" anyway? Why can't he have a normal name like "Juan" or "Diego" or "Carlos"? This world sucks."
*clears throat*
So the three points didn't happen. However, thanks to the stony noggin of Giorgio Chiellini, the Zebes took one point home at least.
Or, for those of you who are allergic to zebra stripes:
Juventus 2:0 Novara
Pepe was recognized as Man of the Month. Which he deserves, OK. And thanks for your excellent work. But that doesn't mean I have to like his new "I am the Shit" attitude.
Quaggie got the start. He brought his tongue and his steering finger with him. Rumor has it that, before the match, Marcostorari told him that this was the day he'd get his goal.
Marcostorari was right. I wish I had a photo of his reaction.
Good job, bb.
Even the BUM manage to rustle up a fond embrace. I kinda think they like the Quagmeister.
Pepe scored also. Yay. And did The Thing Dirtbunny Hates.
I'm not sure why, but this reminds me of Gale and Evelle Snoats after they busted out of the joint.
So, Pepe and Quags scored. Guess who did not?
In fact, he was pretty much made of fail.
want
WANT! Hi Zorro.
BRB *fap fap fap fap fap*
Udinese 0:0 Juventus
Everybody loves mah baybeeee but he's mine all mine
Cool. An excuse to say "Antonio Floro Flores" over and over again in my head.
In fabulous form in his warmups.
Not so much on the pitch.
There. I've said all I really have to say. One was hoping for an exciting match between scudetto contenders. One received a null-null stalemate that just wasn't all that interesting. The only thing was, during the match, Toto Di Natale was ground zero for dramaz and zebra complaining.
But after the match, everyone wanted to have his baby. Antonio Floro Flores
uhhhh.....Don't crush him, Gio.
Do you think Gio wants to see Toto back on the Azzurri?
And Mister had some opinions about the validity of that last foul call.
And then everyone went home for, like, two days, just long enough to peek in on their sleeping children, and then they were off the winter camp in Dubai. Except ADP, who went to Dubai early without having a Christmas vacation at all. If it turns out that he's been thinking about playing football there for the next few years, then I guess we'll all know for certain that he is a dirty dirty whore and I shall never stop weeping.
This post powered by snow. It's snowing, y'all!
No comments:
Post a Comment