Disastro!

Act One

1. The stove is broken.


2. Repair guy comes on Tuesday.


3. Need foods we can eat cold, microwave, or George Foreman grill.


4. Mmmmmm. Italian deli products!


5. Off to the Glutton Place.


6. Fresh figs? Ooooh. Yes. Check


7. Prosciutto? Check


8. Ciabatta? Check


9. Balsamic vinegar? Check


10. Piave Vecchio?


11. Piave Vecchio?


12. Piave Vecchio?


13. [Bueller? Bueller?]


14. Scuse me cheese guy. Do you have any Piave Vecchio?


15. No ma'am, and we probably won't be ordering any more.


16. But....


17. What he actually said next was professional, courteous, and irrelevant. Translated into Bunny's simple but beautiful language, he said No one likes it but you, so we're not going to sell it any more.


18. But....


19. [wail of despair]


20. [raises fist to the sky and curses underdeveloped palates of other Glutton Place patrons]


21. [secret pride in Bunny's own sophistication compared to the great unwashed of McLean, Virginia]


22. [You might want to Google McLean, Virginia if you want to actually get that last joke]


23. Awww, Fuck it. They sell Piave at the Fresh Fields.

Act Two

Gigi: Did ya hear about Sleepy?

Capi: Yeah. Chelsea is bidding for him, but hasn't coughed up enough money for Berlusconi.

Gigi: What're we going to do if Chelsea buys him?

Capi: I don't know. Maybe we can get Il Mister Lippi to kick him off the Azzurri.

Gigi: If he left Italia to play for Bayern Munich, I would be sad, but I'd get over it. If he left Italia to play in France, I'd question his sanity, but I'd get over it. If he leaves Italia to go to Chelsea, I don't think I could ever forgive him.

Capi: The Blues of Satan. I can't think of anything worse.

Gigi: I only tolerate it from Petr because what else is he gonna do? Play in the Czech Republic?

Capi: Really.

Gigi: So what if AC Milan is on the skids? I stuck around when Juve got demoted to Serie B.

Capi: umm, erm

Gigi: Maybe we ought to change the subject.

Capi: Yes, let's. Meet me in the hotel after the game?

Gigi: I'll be the one with a hibiscus flower behind my ear.

Capi: [bacio, bacio]

Gigi: [bacio, bacio]

<>

Bianconeri versus Aston Villa in the Peace Cup final today at 3pm. Don't bother me. I'll be busy/drunk.