Juventini have plenty to forget this summer what with the steaming pile of doo that was 2009-2010, not to mention the Juve-style fail by the Azzurri, oh, and a shortened summer break on account of the Third Qualifying Round matches for the At Least They Made The Europa League on July 29 and August 5.
I know, bb. I know.
Is there any hope that it could get better in 2010-2011? An optimistic person would think yes, but Dirtbunny is old enough to have learned an important life lesson: Expect the worst so it hurts less when they don't deliver. Let's see what the mercato has done for us so far....
Let's start with what we already know:
His finest hour.
Gone. I think my views on this matter are known well enough to those inclined to care what I think.
Not going anywhere. Right?
Better not be going anywhere. Or else. I mean it. Don't test me.
Also not going anywhere.
I know, not a zebra. Now that Quags has a fan club, I thought we could see if we've moved past the reluctant, self-loathing phase and are able to like him with enthusiasm. Anyone? Me either. Not yet. Maybe never. Eww. DAMN YOU QUAGLIARELLA!!! *shakes fist*
Because Gigi starts the season broken--again--and depressed (undoubtedly), and because Juve's elderly Number Three Keeper might possibly be the stupidest man alive (so now he's DeadToMe), the suits decided to buy another keeper, and so we got MARCOSTORARI!
Because Gigi starts the season broken--again--and depressed (undoubtedly), and because Juve's elderly Number Three Keeper might possibly be the stupidest man alive (so now he's DeadToMe), the suits decided to buy another keeper, and so we got MARCOSTORARI!
Bitchin', moanin', gesturin,' and SOX! oh yes bb YES!
Marcostorari was a beast last season and he's been looking for a home, and I say he can stay.
In other news, say goodbye to these guys:
Criscito in his painted-on abs.
A rare happy moment.
OK, so Mimmo was already mostly gone anyway, but this sucks.
Anyone remember this li'l cutie?
Had to use the way-back machine to find a happy moment with the Elf.
I'm sure it's all for the best. Juve already has a trio of talented fullbacks, see?
certified douchebag and talentless hack
even Lippi gave up on this one
hairz got better; footie did not
Plus, they've still got (for now) Gio's bestest roomie:
they probly spend a lot of time playing MarioKart, y/y?
....and plenty of creative mids who can score goals.
Dead.To.Me.
And it's not like there's any advantage to packing the squadra with players who are, I don't know, young, or Italian. Oh well. Bygones.
Speaking of not Italian, look who Juve bought from Catania:
*no words*
Supposedly, Jorge Martinez is under 30 and plays on the wings. And he's from Uruguay. If this is the kind of show we can expect from him, then I might possibly, maybe, consider forgiving him for not being Italian. After all, Uruguayan is one of the best kinds of Non-Italian-ism.
Another incoming:
Another incoming:
Hark! It's
Now this is not the Juventus way. He's young! He's talented! He's Italian, well, Roman anyway--a BALD Roman, no less--but that counts. Interesting.
And another incoming:
And another incoming:
Another bald Roman with painted-on abs.
Well. I hated you Simone Pepe. I hated you with the passion that only an arbitrary gut reaction wth no basis in fact could bring. Plus, you mostly sucked in South Africa. But you tried, damn you. You tried. So I extend a laurel and hearty handshake to you. Don't fuck up.
Has anyone ever heard of Andre Cuneaz?
I think he's the one on the bottom, which is good cos Romans never bottom and Russians always top. Or is it the other way around?
He's a former Juve primavera whom the suits dumped some years back and he's been toiling away in Serie B, but now he's back. Poor kid.
And there's Davide Lanzafame. I hate Davide Lanzafame, because he plays ADP's position more or less and ADP don't need no stinking competition for playing time, yo.
And there's Davide Lanzafame. I hate Davide Lanzafame, because he plays ADP's position more or less and ADP don't need no stinking competition for playing time, yo.
you know what we're really here to see....
And last but not least, one more outgoing.
ugh
Did you forget about him? How could you? Cristian Molinaro lasted longer in the Champions League than any other zebras, after all. And don't lie. There were a few desperate moments.....
Whatever you do, don't look at what happens starting at 2:18 unless you hate zebras
......when some people longed to have him back. After all, he would not have stopped trying, like some of the zebras, and he would have given his best every day. Unfortunately, his best sucks. A for effort, but he had to go. :( Goodbye, Sweetheart. *pats*
I, for one, am still hoping for a big signing of the Diego/Felipe Melo ilk, only that ends up playing well. And I wouldn't miss Poulsen if he left. Or that non-Azzurri Amauri. And fucking Tiago Mendes should really stay in Spain. There have been rumors about Trez and CamoranesiCamoranesiCamoranesi leaving us, but then there have also been rumors about Gio to Man U, Gigi to pretty much anywhere, and ADP to New York Red Bull, but that may all be crap. Window closes August 31. Anything could happen.
ETA: Juventus Offside has just put up a bit on the mercato. Haven't read it yet, but I'm willing to guess that they don't care about MarcoStorari's socks.
Disclaimer: Just because Dirtbunny is never wrong doesn't mean her footie opinions are intelligent or informed.
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