ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 18, 2010
Let's start with some good news, shall we? There are about two weeks left in the transfer window. That means that the suits will not have to create a breach in the time-space continuum to make our dreams come true. They can act within the confines of our three-dimensional linear-perception-of-time existence and do the right thing, if they want to.
And more good news: While I was trying to figure out a way to scam my employer in order to be in front of a stream for the Juve-Sturm game tomorrow, my employer handed me the afternoon on a platter without me even asking. Now the only obstacle to an afternoon of joy, aside from the zebras themselves, is my cable company, which can't always be counted on to provide me with access to the Interwebs, despite the fact that I pay them to do it.
Unfortunately, it's time for some bad news.
It's still here, and it is training with the squadra. Boo. BOO!
I'm pretty sure he hates us, but that's OK because WE HATE HIM MORE!
So, that's the bad news. Zebina, Certified Douchebag, is still with Juventus. The good news is that he has yet to be called up for any matches, and that includes Thursday's showdown in Austria. He may be darkening the payroll and the practice pitch, but he is not shitting on the actual games.
You may have heard the best news of the week already: TIAGO MENDES IS GONE! *does Snoopy Dance*
This may be hard for some of you to believe, but as I sit here looking upon Tiago and his pal The Traitor Xabi Alonso, both of them shirtless and displaying certain pants problems that I usually consider to be good things on other people, I am filled with loathing and all I can think is PUT YOUR SHIRTS BACK ON!
The bad Tiago news is that it's only a loan, and it's only for a year. But the good Tiago news is that for a whole year, he is Atletico Madrid's problem and not Juventus' problem.
The bad news about that is that your enjoyment of Diego Forlan and fabulous teenaged keeper David De Gea may be tainted by the presence of Tiago, but the good news is that your enjoyment of Gio, ADP, Lanza, Gigi, Manninger! (he has his girlz, really he does), Amauri (if he ever gets his form back), Marchisio (assuming he stays one step ahead of Interpol), and new tough guy PDC will not be tainted by the presence of Tiago.
Remember that match at the end of the 2008-09 season when Tiago cleared an awesome strike off the goal line and saved Juventus some points? The bad news is that there won't be any more of that this year. The good news is that is the only good thing I can ever remember him doing in Bianconeri, so it's not much of a loss.
Ugh. Smug.
The bad news is that his contract runs through 2012 ( I think) so his ex-Chelsea ass could still come back. But the good news is NOT THIS YEAR!
Sorry if this was a little too much like a Tiago tribute, but my joy/hate needed somewhere to go.
That's three down, two to five to go. Come on suits!
Onoz! No tags for Tiago or Zebina. Waaaah! Waaaaaaah!
ETA: P.S. Here are some of the things that come up when you do a Google Image search for "Tiago Mendes Juventus"
- Martin Caceres
- Ujfalusi
- A tricked-out framed ADP jersey with souvenirs and doodads
- Alberto Riera
- Sarah Silverman I am not making this up!
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