Same as it ever was, same as it ever was. Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.
What? Juventus didn't get utterly clobbered? Juventus kept a clean sheet? But, I thought..... weren't they......Sammy......? Whatever. A null-null draw against Inter in Milan. I'll take it. Hell, yes, I'll take it and a side order of gloating too.
The Hairz were there.
This match has been over for a long time now, and I barely remember any of it except that Sammy didn't score, Juve didn't lose, Chivu turns into a spaz when threatened, Diego Milito knows how to ride a slump like woah, and Gio is stunningly amazing, no matter what mean stuff you may have heard from his fair-weather girlfriend over here. Therefore, with the understanding that no intelligent football-related commentary will appear, let us proceed in the usual fashion.
Did I mention that Sammy didn't score? Have you met our Gigi Who?
Marcostorari. nnnngggggghhhh.
Not invincible today, Luciomonster. Not today.
Not gonna spill it. Not even for those bizarrely lush eyelashes of yours.
Getting a condescending pat from Maicon, who did not score.
Bonus: He seems to be letting his hair go back to normal. I know--it's not ready yet, but he no longer looks like he might try to sell me a vacuum cleaner.
Marcostorari is larger than JC. Hee! With a few notable exceptions, Bunny likes 'em tall.
Out on the left, our boy PDC started, looking much more sentient than he did in his FIFA 11 advert.
He's supposedly healthy now, but he went off at the half for Marcolino.
Marcolino tried.
You'd think he'd be stronger than Sammy, but oh well. Sammy didn't score, and that's the important part.
Hmm. Yeah, well, then, ummm..... Back to PDC!
Pop quiz: Claudio is:
A. Admiring Paolino's wonderful new pace and ferocity. Orrrrrrrrr....
B. Considering whether Wes' head would make a good soup tureen. You know, once he's finished all the stuff in there.
And look! He's working on the saggy socks! Awwwww.
Spikes! Eeek! Don't spike Gio (although he probably wouldn't have the same consideration for you).
Paolino and Leo together. Love!
And Leo all by his lonesome, sorta.
Ooooh. He's starting to get a little temple vein working up in here. Watch your hands, Sammy. He doesn't want to kill you, but he will if he has to. nnnngggghhh.
I like him from the back too.
,
Tongue! And together with Gio! *dies* These guys are like my beagles. I can't decide which one is most wonderful. On the one hand, Gio has the big shoulders and biteable neck and those handssss. On the other hand, Leo is taller and bigger and is not known to have held Cristiano Ronaldo oh-so-tenderly. As with the dogs, I don't have to decide because I can have both!
Gio worked on Diego Milito.
Diego did not score.
Diego worked on Wes, too.
Wes.
please note Gryga's ape-like expression
Did.
Not.
Score.
Also, have you heard of this Eto'o guy?
Gio worked on him.
He did not score.
Not even a little.
This may look like a foul, but actually Gio has spotted Gojira coming down from the curva, and he is shoving Sammy to safety behind him.
Sam: Thanks for saving my ass, man.
Gio: Ah, don't worry about it.
Sam: I'm serious man. That drama queen Lucio would have run for it.
Gryga started on the right. He did great (considering he's Gryga).
Defending against little boys whose hair weighs more than their cumulative muscle mass.
Making simian expressions while others defend.
Good gravy.
He even contributed against Sammy, who did not score.
In front of the defense, Not Ciro gave Albertino another start.
He didn't do nothing.
He did not beat the crap out of big baby IRC, who can dish it out, but who can't take it.
I still don't quite know what to make of him.
I mean, lookit, there are all these pictures 'n' stuff of him playing football 'n' stuff...
....and he must have gotten around some because he got his picture taken with a variety of
...and he spits, but I haven't seen anything transcendent, yet. And I still think he looks dim.
Ah. Claudio. That's better.
The big news with Claudio is that he did not get a yellow card, so he's not suspended yet.
Tongue Twins!
Melo was there.
Surprisingly, no one was decapitated.
Not afraid of Luciomonster.
Working on Sammy.
Come on Wes. It's not like he's pulling your hair.
Hello. Who the fuck is that guy?
There he is again! Didn't he get sold to Man City?
An Italian player on Inter. Interesting.
Maybe he can only play when Mario is around?
Whatever. Say hello to Milos.
He's much faster and much better than Chivu. I love Chivu, but I'm sorry. It's true.
If Chivu can't figure out how to contain you, he tends to lose his mind.
He's only got but so many tricks stored away in that adorable damaged brain of his.
Milos wasn't fooled by any of them, so eventually, Chivu went to his crazy place.
Hey there, Mr. Banti.
After he flattened Milos, he stood over him and taunted him. *sigh*
LOL Chivu there, calling for a card.
Deki: Soon you will be mine.
Milos: Has no idea what's waiting for him in the Serbian dressing room.
God knows why, but Not Ciro decided not to play the execrable Pepe today. Diabolique! The Earth kept spinning on its axis and the zebras did not collapse without him. Also, Lanzafame appears to have vanished. I'm worried.
So. Up front, we had
QUAGS!
He didn't do much, but who cares? Inter didn't score so all's well.
Jeez, Chivu.
This is probably a good time to point something out. The Bianconeri played all ninety minutes. They kept playing and kept trying and looked like they cared. *iz proud*
I'm starting to lose any sense of shame or regret about liking Quags. I'm starting to like him without misgivings.
Aside from my dogs, there is no one in this world that I like IRL without misgivings. Too cynical. Too misanthropic.
It's just not right that Quags is worming his way into that category. Best not to think about it. New topic: Vincenzo!
He worked it.
He didn't score, but he worked it.
He also did this big bicycle kick, apparently.
It didn't go anywhere or do anything, or else I might have remembered it.
The photos were mighty impressed.
Mighty impressed indeed.
Whatever. If he isn't going to put it in the hole, at least we can always count on him for the dramaz.
How?
Whai?
Noooooooooo!
You can almost hear the whimpering.
Poor Vincenzo. *pats him*
Vince wasn't making it happen, so Not Ciro brought on Il Capitano.
There's always something going on in that nose of his that needs adjusting.
TANGENT: The infant next door is outside with his daddy practicing his growing vocabulary. His favorite word is "Lawnmower." Boys!
Alessa gave it his best.
He got groped by Cuchu
"LAWNMOWER!"
I don't think so, Cuchu. If the Naughty Nuns didn't convert him to the Dark Side of the Force, I don't see what chance you have.
Ale and Maicon.
Maicon and Ale.
"LAWNMOWER!"
Daw!
&hearts &hearts &hearts (both of them)
Poor poor Lucio. *cries alligator tears*
That's nice, isn't it?
Well, he tried, but he didn't score either. But he's learning. Look! He traded jerseys again.
But this time, he didn't put the wrong shirt on.
Next match is Sunday at the Olimpico against Lecce. Lecce sucks, so naturally the zebras will lose, especially at home.
ETA: Oops. I stole many of these photos from Martha, and then I proceeded to say a few un-nice things about her boys and questioned her loyalty to Gio, cos that's just the kind of girl I am. I deserve a spanking. (Don't worry. It was still fashionable to spank children when I was a wee lass. So this isn't creepy at all. )
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