Dirtbunny.net: Old Lady Post: Needs More Frog

Genoa 0:2 Juventus

I know. It was forever ago and the next match against Mighty Marco and the Bleeding Violas starts in about half an hour. Do you want to see the pictures or not?

Okay then.

Don't mess with the sacred Sunday lunch or Italians will protest vehemently. Seriously. Google Translate isn't helping me much here, but I'm an American, and we Americans know that when you see the words "family," "children," and "sin" together, somebody is mighty pissed off.

I barely even remember this game, so let's mainly just stick with the photos.

Did anyone else think "Oh Shit" when they saw this pompous bastard take the field.....

..... or am I the only one who thinks Morganti is the crappiest ref in Serie A?

Tiger agrees with me at least.

Marcostorari started in goal. He's a good goalie to have around if you are only going to have one grown-up goalkeeper on your squad.

He actually got noticed by the photographers.

Marcolino started on the right.

I'm telling you, he's growing back the pompadour. Who was it?......ah, yes. 'Arry told Gareth Bale to worry less about the barnet and more about the football and it turned out great for the Spurs. *eyeroll* Consider that, Marcolino. You actually have me referring to 'Arry Redknapp as an authority on something other than the price of gin. That is what your hair is doing to me. Please, dial it back before it gets out of hand.

At some point, Motta went off and was replaced by Sorensen, who did a creditable job by all accounts.

Is he ours, or is he just a loaner? *runs off to check* Loan. Crap. Sign this boy now before his price goes up.

His looks improve with the haircut. And I fear he's hit the big time, earning a place alongside such renowned sex objects as Landon Donovan and John Terry. You may have thought that the only Serie A players Kickette has ever heard of are Cannavaro, Totti, and Borriello, oh, and once ADP, whom they treated as a formerly-hot grandpa, but nope. She's noticed our Freddie too. Poor kid.

TANGENT: Kickette's admiration for short tents is baffling. Has she ever even seen a man naked? Short tents come from little guys. What one really wants is a big guy, and he sports a bulge, not a short tent.

Leo was there in the middle.

The first time I saw him the gloves, I scoffed, but now I approve. He's probably just trying to keep his hands from getting chapped and rough, so they're nice for other important things, right? What a considerate guy.

Capitano Giorgio. Apparently all that dripping blood from last week came from a wound that needed some stitches to close, so he got to wear a big bandage. And he rocked it, of course.

Grosso was on the left.

I still say the sideburns are too long. Hey there Claudio! Not Ciro started Claudio out on the wing again. I don't like it. He does pretty well out there, but it seems to me as though he is being sacrificed so that Melo and Aquilani can work together in the center. Maybe there aren't any better options, but I don't like it.

It's kind of hard to find a picture of Claude without GFB in it, but he is definitely not grabbing Mesto's shirt.

Oh no. Melo's haircut is even worse from the front.

LOL. NOT cool and NOT hard either, doofus.

Speaking of Albertino, here's the one photo of him, and he's with Kharja, who's a bald, which probably means he's one of Martha's. Salihamidzic came on for Aquilani late in the match when Albertino had a li'l twinge. That means Of Blacks was unable to sub in ADP....

...who had been with the fourth official waiting for a dead ball to go on. Bummer. And so that breaks ADP's streak of playing in every official Juventus match this season. You will all be happy to hear that Albertino was not badly injured and is on the call-up sheet for today.

TANGENT: You know who else did not come into the match? Lanzafame. He was on the bench. I swear. I saw him with my own two eyes and his hair is growing back.

Well look who's back!

Milos had a decent enough match. BTW: I wouldn't want to be Miguel Veloso right now.

He's not quite fully fit and he didn't make it the whole match either, and went out for Momo.

*sigh* I'm still waiting for Momo to show us what he's got.

Hmmm, so if ADP didn't play and Amauri is out for six weeks, then Quags must have started. And he did.

He was kind of everywhere and nowhere, like he do.

I'm not at all sure that this is the same guy in those creepy Napoli calendars.

And Quags' strike partner was, of course, Vince.

Vince is sporting a brand new fauxhawk. Bunny is not a fan of the fauxhawk.

I wish I could say that he had a good game, but the awful truth is that all I can remember is one play where he was outrun by Dainelli. That's not good.

Ah well. He's still the closest thing Juve has to a center striker.

Time for goal-scorers!

First, Loooca!

I know he's not Juventino but I love Loooca and he scored a goal. It didn't count. I wonder why...

hi Frog!

Morganti pulled out the yellow, and Loooca was most surprised, but Gio poured on the love and the card stood. The goal did not.

hi again Frog!

There were two goals that counted. First, Claudio:

Quags knocked in a strange-looking cross and Claudio managed to knock it in the correct direction, and then the ball rattled around a bit, pinging against the post and against Eduardo, and it went in. Officially, it was an Eduardo own goal. He was great for Portugal during WC2010, but he sucks for Genoa. Poor Genoa.

There was some celebrating, cos you never know for sure whether it's going to count as an own goal until the officials make up their mind.

Nothing gaudy, of course. You know what? It's been too damn long since we've seen Leo and Claudio locked in a ~~manly~~ passionate embrace.

Claudio, like Dirtbunny, is dubious about the Melo tongue and the bikini-waxed head.

And as for goal number two, we have to look to "Only a Serb."

Eduardo really looked bad. Really bad. I'll bet Genoa's missing Marco Amelia, and that's saying something.

Right. My friends, I'm worried about Milos. Sure, on hat trick day, he took off his jersey and got a stupid automatic card. Fine and dandy. It was his first Juve goal, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.