Old Lady Post: Thiiiiiiis close

Chievo Verona 1:1 Juventus 

Geez Vince!  For crying out loud.....





This year, Dirtbunny asked Santa to send Juventus a striker who can finish.  I don't care much how he does it as long as it doesn't involve illegal potions that show up on drug tests.  If he fixes the ones we already have, that's great.  If he brings us new ones who know what they're doing, that's fine too.  But OMG if I see Vincenzo miss a sitter one more time I am going to have to cut a bitch.  Santa doesn't actually have to produce for me until January 6, so that should give him and his elves a little extra time to craft something extra-special, or even a little special.

As far as this match is concerned, I have to keep reminding myself that technically it was not a loss.  Sure, Milan lost so Juventus had a wonderful opportunity to pick up points, and I suppose they did, officially, but goddamn it I thought maybe they were past this whole-give-up-the-equaliser-in-extra-time bullshit that they started the year with.

Aftermath

It's the fourth day of Christmas.  There are fresh English football matches to watch and frigid windy weather to keep us inside and stale Christmas cookies to throw away and I'm starting to dream about my job again and to make lists of things I gotta do again and new books to read and old knitting to finish and I'm only sleeping twelve hours a day now instead of sixteen.  Time marches on, but before I start on the final 2010 clean-up and embark on 2011, let's review Christmas 2010.

It snowed:

Just barely, but there were five minutes of "Ooh!  Pretty!" to go along with the cocoa and kringle.  Note to self:  write thank-you note to MIL.

Thoughts on the Lady Baltimore Cake

When I was an infant, the cookbook most frequently consulted in our house was an old edition of the Betty Crocker Cookbook. It was full of exotic delights. For example, the recipe for Spanish Rice was accompanied by a stylized drawing of a senorita in a mantilla. One of the recipes that caught my imagination was the Lady Baltimore Cake. I can't remember why I was so captivated. Was there a photo? Was there a blurb that made it sound especially enticing? Was it because it was a *gasp* three layer cake? That would have rocked my eight-year-old world because all the cakes I knew only had two layers. (Little did I know at the time that the rest of America had already moved on to cake mixes. Frosting came in mixes too back then, but shortly evolved into tubs of ready-made frosting when the concept of adding your own water became too much for the American cook of the 1970s).

Dirtbunny wishes you a very beagle Christmas

So's me and Mr. D were out for about an hour and a half just now and on the way home, I thought "The dogs are not going to be happy with this."  Tiki in particular has a penchant for staging protests when people are not home at his suppertime or when people go out after suppertime.  Also, he has a thing for paper.  And so I thought "That dog is going to show his displeasure by attacking the Christmas presents."


And lo!

It was only the one.  Big mess, but no particular harm done.  If it's chewed a little at the corner, it will fit in nicely with the rest of my books.

Old Lady Post: The End in Europe

 Juventus 1:1 Manchester City



zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


Europa League has come and gone for the zebras, who finished with an unbeaten overall record and a measly six points from six draws in their group.  The final meaningless match against Manchester City was probably even less exciting than you would have guessed knowing that the result makes no difference to either side.  Soooooooo boring.

Old Lady Post: I....I.....can't believe it

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON DECEMBER 13, 2010


JUVENTUS 2:1 LAZIO

JUVENTUS 2:1 LAZIO



at last Of Blacks has found someone willing to hug him.

Juventini have seen this sort of thing before, plenty of times, even a few times this season:  the match looks sewn up, the result certain, and then something shitty happens in the dying seconds that changes everything.  Boo.  Well, it happened again, only this time, Juventus saved itself from an unsatisfying draw with a last-gasp goal to take the win over second-place Lazio.  \o/  Let me tell you, it may be crappy when it costs your team a win, but it's magical when it gives your team the win.  Juve now sits second in the table courtesy of a massive goal differential.  SECOND!  I know, I know.  Don't count on anything.  It'll probably all go to hell against Chievo, but let's enjoy the moment, shall we?

Old Lady Post: Unbeaten Streak Continues

Catania 1: 3 Juventus

Heroes.  Who'd a thunk it?

Last season, it was the home loss to Catania, then at the bottom of the table, that sent the Bianconeri on their downward spiral, at least that's how I remember it, so I approached this match with some skepticism.  We all know that the zebras are going to collapse.  It's just a question of when.  Could it be Catania would again be the spoiler of zebra dreams?

Well, no.  Maxi Lopez is kind of sucking right now, and the remaining Argies of the Elefanti were non-magical.  On the other end, Quags was wide awake, Marco Motta sat on the bench where he was unable to fuck up too badly, Of Blacks decided to actually defend the right-hand side, and our boys bounced back from a bullshit call rather than collapsing in despair.  This is oddly encouraging and that scares me.  I suspect we are being lulled into a sense that it is possible to compete well with Lazio this weekend, so that we can be disappointed all the more when it doesn't happen.  Plus, I hate Lichsteiner.  On the other hand, maybe everyone is really going on strike this time.

Loooca Lunedi

It has been a while, but he's still around.

BBP: 2007 is done

When we last examined the Bunny Baking Project, she had two last recipes to try.  The first was a Lemon Tart.  I've made a bunch of lemon tarts.  This one was delish, but did not stand out from the others and in fact, the crust was unnecessarily fussy when an ordinary pate brisee would do.  I give it two stars:  a do-over, but not a stand-out.

And that brings me to the Mother of All 2007 recipes:  The Black Forest Cake.  And here is what I learned:  If you cannot find really really good tart cherries, then don't bother.  I was only able to find mediocre cherries.  They would have been fine in a pie doctored up with sugar and cornstarch, but not so much when they stand alone (aside from a soak in kirsch).

Old Lady Post: Football is Suffering

 Lech Posnan 1:1 Juventus



I'm pretty sure that zebra is Vincenzo.  When you put them all in hats, gloves, and tights, cover them with snow, and freeze them solid, they tend to look alike.


Ugh.  What can be said?  Does anyone really give a shit about a 14-game unbeaten streak when it means Juventus can't even advance out of the group stage of the At Least We're in the Europa League?  Sure, they aren't losing, but not losing is not the same thing as winning, exactly.  Is there a silver lining here at all?  Perhaps.  This means Of Blacks can play babies against Man City and let his A-squad give it their all against Lazio and Chievo, and it means no more twice-a-week schedules except for Coppa weeks (Ale's knees and I are grateful for that), and it means no more matches in the snow unless it's friendly Italian snow.  Those are all very good things
AND YET THEY ARE NOT EVEN THE SMALLEST CONSOLATION FOR THE EPIC DISASTER IN POLAND.   AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHy4r1bciodffoijw2e31908e43%#@%$%*^

Old Lady Post: Bring Me a Man Who Can Finish

Juventus 1:1 Fiorentina



That was an exciting match that shouldn't have been so damn exciting. Viola went up first, Juventus could not crack Viola's broken and bleeding defense, Viola's problems got so bad that they had to send in Felipe, Juve got an equaliser on a fluke free kick by.... I don't know if I can say it....Pepe, Felipe the terrible defender got sent off, and even against 10 men, Juve could fling the ball at the hole over and over without getting it to go in. Artur was unholy good, but it wasn't just Artur's Faustian bargain amazing form that was responsible. At least some of the problem was zebra-fail, pure and simple. I love Viola. They're my second team. I like it when they do well. But daggone it, I'm Juventina first and I am not happy about this.

Old Lady Post: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON NOVEMBER 6, 2010




Juventus 0:0 Salzburg

In many other team sports--especially from an American point of view--a zero-zero result is unacceptable.  It means that nothing happened and no one won.  In a country entrenched in the Winners &  Losers construct, it is intolerable not to have a winner.  How can there be a tie draw?  It's as unthinkable as shaking hands and agreeing to disagree.  This is a very Manichaean sort of place, even if most of us don't know what that means and like to make fun of the pointy-headed brainiac Sheldonians who do.   Football teaches us that a nuthin-nuthin tie  nil-nil draw can be not only be a just and appropriate result among well-matched opponents, it can also reflect a humdinger of an exciting match.

But not this one.  It was so dull that I couldn't find anything worth writing down in my notes.  Here's the upshot:  Most of the seniors are either broken or cup-tied; the babies are still babies; you can't play old guys twice a week all year long and expect world-class performances every night; Amauri will never be a trequartista; and even if the zebes win their last two matches, they may not make it out of group stage.  My friends, the situation in Europe is dire.

Old Lady Post: Needs More Frog

Genoa 0:2 Juventus

I know.  It was forever ago and the next match against Mighty Marco and the Bleeding Violas starts in about half an hour.  Do you want to see the pictures or not?

Okay then.




Don't mess with the sacred Sunday lunch or Italians will protest vehemently.  Seriously.  Google Translate isn't helping me much here, but I'm an American, and we Americans know that when you see the words "family," "children," and "sin" together, somebody is mighty pissed off.


I barely even remember this game, so let's mainly just stick with the photos.

Old Lady Post: Garlic Can Wait \\\o///

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 18, 2010

Yeah, it was a trip in the box.  Suck it up.


So the team that dresses like fast-food hamburger peddlers from the early 1970s came to Turin.  (Dudes, I did a Google image search on this and I swear to God I ended up with an image of David Beckham in a crew cut.)


There was all kinds of awesome.  Choose your flavor:



 

 spicy?



Sweet? 

The Hairz were there

Old Lady Post: Exceeding Expectations at the San Siro

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 11, 2010

 
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.  Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.




What?  Juventus didn't get utterly clobbered?  Juventus kept a clean sheet?   But, I thought..... weren't they......Sammy......?  Whatever.  A null-null draw against Inter in Milan.  I'll take it.  Hell, yes, I'll take it and a side order of gloating too.

Old Lady Post: Zebras in Manchester

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 2, 2010

yup.  that's pretty much how I feel about it.


I'd like to start with a Public Service Announcement from the Moron Network:

If you are trying not to find out the score from a football match you have not yet seen,  STAY OFF FOOTBALL SITES ON THE INTERWEBS.


I've fallen into this trap before,but I never learn.  I think I would have enjoyed that match much much more if I hadn't known the result in advance. There was a lot of action and some suspense and it ended in a nail-biting 1-1 draw.  This is a good thing.  Man City is a good team side, and a point against Man City away is a very nice thing to have.  The Citizens took advantage of the Bianconeri's one serious defensive break and ADP knocked a free kick off the crossbar late and, well, that was probably a winnable game match.  I would be happier with a win.


I'll try womanfully to accentuate the positive.

Well. That's Finished.

Many, many, many months ago, I got out my five skeins of alpaca laceweight and my Folk Shawls by Cheryl Oberle and I cast on for a big square shawl in a simple grid pattern and I knit about an inch or so before I noticed that my eyelets were not lining up properly.   I decided I was hopelessly lost so I ripped the whole thing out and started over.  I did some math and decided where it made the most sense to me to put stitch markers so I wouldn't get lost again (surprise!  they did not align with the printed pattern repeats).  The slow rows required my full attention, glasses off, and took about 20 minutes.  The fast rows required only a minimal amount of attention--just one step up from mindless monkey knitting--and took about 8 minutes.  The medium rows required medium attention, glasses on, and took about 12 minutes.  The glasses off bits meant this was not TV knitting.  The pattern was simple, once I marked it off properly, and somewhere between 450 and 500 rows later, i.e. Friday, it was done:  the Box Lace Shawl.


I remember when it was still a baby.....

Old Lady Post: Hellooooooooooo Milos!

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 1, 2010

I HAVE NOT YET SEEN MAN CITY--JUVENTUS.
I WON'T UNTIL FRIDAY, 8:00PM EDT.
PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED. 

Never mind.  Dirtbunny blew it all by herself.



Whew.  It is New Years Day for my employer, which means the last week has been ridiculous and that puts me way behind on everything I can't earn money doing.  So I'm sorry.  :(

But I'm here now, and I don't remember much and my notes are indecipherable, but you know what we're going to talk about:

OMG  MILOS KRASIC!






I must admit that I was pretty damn nervous.  Juve can beat the Sardines on paper, but Juve can beat Bari and Palermo on paper too.  I have to admit that after Anime Vargas  Matri got his goal, I was so despondent I had to retire to my boudoir for a sulk.  It took me two days to get through it.

So, shall we then?

Bunny Baking Project

Those Nut Crescent Cookies are also good with their powdered sugar coating:

I really don't see why I ever need to try another recipe for these.  The hardest part was chopping the pecans.  (You can't use the food processor because pecans are relatively oily and the food processor will start turning them into pecan butter before all of the pieces are as small as they're supposed to be.)

Clown pants

I work at home a lot.  My job is pretty much reading, thinking, and writing, and I can do that better at home  where there are fewer external distractions.  There still are some, but they're good:  a view of trees, a squirrel eating my tulip bulbs, children getting out of school, the changing light as the sun passes overhead.
I've got my stuff and my comfortable chairs and I can cook for lunch instead of reheating stuff or buying a grease bomb from down the street.  There is color on the walls here.  The rugs are nice.  It smells better (mostly--depends on Tiki).  If I want fresh air, I can open a window.  If I want music, I can play whatever I want as loud as I want.  I've got my dogs with me and I can hear them breathing/snoring, and feel Kirby's fur on my feet (he's clingy.  Tiki likes his space.)

I've got the best of the offices allotted to widget monkeys like me and I like my office.  But the external distractions are more numerous and more irritating:  loud hallway conversations, a neighbor's excessive perfume, the smell of another neighbor's laundry detergent, the churning grind of the ventilation unit, the paper jamming in the shared printer outside my office door (it's a piece of crap; we've been begging for a new one for several years), people fussing with the printer to clear the paper jam, the IT guys fiddling with the printer and devising a short-term solution but not solving the real problem (i.e., the printer is a piece of shit), the sound of sirens in the street, the picket line chanting in front of my building (some people don't like the landlord's business practices), demonstrations in front of the American Enterprise Institute down the street (some people don't like Dick Cheney or Karl Rove).  The walls are boring and the lighting is bad and the ventilation is OK but not good enough for my particular sensibilities and the carpet is grubby.  Etc.

Old Lady Mini-Post: Back to Normal

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 24, 2010

 Must I?  I suppose I must.  Juve lost at home to Palermo 1-3.  The Bianconceri looked tired going in, gave up a goal in the second minute, and looked even more tired after that.  Mr. Orsato made a couple of crap calls during the first half, and the zebes got demoralized and never really came back.  Like all of last year, they gave up.



This about sums it up.


Alessa got another start and had some good shots,  but he looked slow and exhausted and went off at about the 60th.  And he brought his real-life pregnant wife who I am sure is a very nice person and this always makes me upset because it confronts my denial.

Milos and Melo kept working until the bitter end, long after everyone else stopped bothering to make runs or get on the ends of passes.
Pepe was terrible, and repeatedly gave the ball away by passing to no one, as usual.  One encouraging sign is that Of Blacks took him off at the half and--get this--tried something different.  It didn't help, but at least he tried.  Amauri, Iaquinta, and Aquilani all came in as subs.
Amauri and Vinenzo put in decent efforts and Vince actually got a goal late in the match, but Aquilani looked worn out, and he has no reason to be tired so he must be either not fit or lazy.  All in all, I despair.

Butter + Nuts + Sugar = Love

I'm home today because of an optometry appointment, and I embarked on the Nut Crescent Cookies (I chose pecans) from here:

...and if you could smell my house right now, you would die.  OMG.  I am a genius.  Ooh.  Time to pull them out of the oven.  BRB  

Jesus Mary and Joseph.  They are awesome even without their coating of powdered sugar.  I am a goddess.


P.S.  I found cherries.  Not at any of the good stores.  At the crappiest outlet of the crappiest store.  Motto:  Never Give Up.

Old Lady Mini-Post: Half-Assed Beach Edition

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 20, 2010


Last week, we had a Europa League Claudio deficit.  This week,  we have plenty of Claudio, some as you've never seen him before and never will again, I hope.

Now study carefully, because there will be a quiz later:

Question:  What the FUCK is that boy doing?   (Extra credit question: How many coolness points does he lose for doing it?)

It is true.  At last, Juventus got a league victory, in an away match no less, against lowly Udinese.  Not only a victory, but a 0-4 plastering.  Better still (this is the part none of you care about), through the miracle of modern wireless internet access,  I was able to watch the match whilst 250 miles away from home (that's 400-ish km) enjoying a well-deserved beach vacation (that's "holiday").  None of my friends IRL understand this, but I know you all do:  I love football so much that I will happily spend a little of my vacation time watching football while hiding from My Enemy, The Sun.  I love you guise!    OK, but I'm not going to spend all day making a picspam masterpiece.  But I am willing to plop together a vaguely organized collection of match photos, light on the commentary and heavy on the squee.  

Old Lady Post: Best Point Ever

 Juventus 1:1 Roma



Giorgio came to play.

The match ended in a draw, and not every moment shone with footballing excellence, but I didn't get to the end thinking that the boys had blown it.  They played hard, they played well, and they have every reason to be proud of what they accomplished, whatever the result.  Albertino played better than I have ever seen him, Sorensen was impressive, Pepe showed me why coaches love him, and Chiellini was fucking awesome.  He gets this week's Most Likely to Get Laid award.  The line queue starts over to the left.

Old Lady Post: Whatever in Europe

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 17, 2010


Warning:  My space bar is on the blink.  I'm trying to catch them all, but I just found a "but then" that came out "butt hen," so please read generously.


It's happening again.  Another horrid start marked by defensive fail, a brief rally and a few goals attributable to the other team's horrid defense,  a moment of brilliance to make pride and joy swell in your heart, a long and tense slog to the final whistle, and conceding a goal in extra time to finish in a 3-3 draw.  Lucky me:  I got the Ray Hudson edition, which means I got to listen to him give his two-years-out-of-date Juventus information, refer to my pretend boyfriend as "Little Alex" as though he was a shih-tzu or something, and to hear his broadcast partner Phil Schoen mangle Italian pronunciations.  Have you met our leftback, Dee Shegglee?

It's the matches like this that are the killers for me.  You can see that they have it in them if only they could keep their concentration for the whole game.  You think maybe they'll pull it off,  maybe, but then you see the laziness and complacency start to show and then, well, the fail comes.

Sinisa's not the only one who could use a decent tailor.

I couldn't figure out how to download some of the best stuff, but there's still plenty to see right this way.....

Old Lady Mini-Post: Coulda Been Worse

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON NOVEMBER 12, 2010




 Brescia 1:1 Juventus



All I have to say is the Bianconeri are damn lucky that Brescia can't finish.  Juve had nothing out wide on either side, Brescia had a few key saves, and the forwards had little service to work with.  Someone(s) needs to wake up fast or i Giallorossi is going to walk away with the next one.

Old Lady Post: Three Points. Whew.

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 10, 2010

Juventus 3:1 Cesena




<3

It started out the same as it did last season.  Juve faces an inferior team, looks listless and uninspired, and gives up the lead early.  What makes this different is that Juve fought through the ennui and pulled out a win.  There were times when it didn't feel like it was going to turn out that way, but it did.  The Bianconeri have moved up to fourth in the table, four points back from Lazio (ty Roma).

Old Lady Post: A Point! Woohoo!

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 13, 2010



Everyone says that was a rip-roarin', hootin'-tootin' fabulously excitin' match for the ages.  Perhaps it was.  All I know is this:  I was watching the match with Mr. D and our good friend Jose Cuervo and I was feeling pretty good about things and then I looked up to see how much time was left and saw we were only at minute 59.

And a great shadow of "Oh, shit" fell across the Dirtbunny household.



Pros:

• Zebra goal drought is over
• No one sustained a major injury
• Pepe showed that he is not completely useless, not all the time.
   

Cons:

• There are problems in the fullback area that go beyond Marcolino keeping his arms covered. 
• It is a good idea to have a center striker even if you have awesome second strikers
• So far, Albertino is still Albertino 

Shall we, then?

Old Lady Post: We don't need no stinkin' center striker

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 1, 2010

This post has nothing to do with Claudio.



This is a Juventus calciomercato post.

Old Lady Post: Well. That Was Worth Waiting For

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 30, 2010 

Are you there, God?  It's me, Fabio.  No, the other Fabio.  Fabio Quagliarella.



If you saw the match or read the reports, you don't need me to tell you that the Bari match was one big puddle of meh.  ADP had to play too deep to be effective as a striker, Quags had a couple of shots that didn't work, Gio missed a perfect opportunity to head the ball in, the mids had trouble keeping possession, Lanza spent more time trying to kill pigeons  in the stands behind the goal than he did aiming for the goal itself, and Martinez and Claudio got hurt.

"Wait a minute.  Did you say Quags?"

Yes, I did, but more on that later.

Dogs Hate Daylight Savings Time

Their tummies say, "It's suppertime."  Their eyes say, "It's getting dark.  It's suppertime."  Their humans say, "It's only 5 o'clock.  It's not suppertime."  Their tiny little brains reply, "Then why are you in the kitchen messing with stuff that smells like food?"  Their Bunny says, "I'm always in the kitchen messing with food, at least when I'm not taking a nap."  They say "Gimme some.  NOW."  Bunny's feet say "Scoot."  And no supper is forthcoming.  And you can't reason with them that it's only once a year because they don't remember for one and for two they find no comfort in that.  

I woke up at 7:00 today, only it was really 6:00, and I celebrated being up by watching football.  Viola--Donkeys were live online at 6:30 a.m., so I had coffee and sleepy beagles and yarn and I watched football in bed.  The league decided to have some 6:30 12:30 matches on Sundays, probably for television purposes, but some Italians are predictably decrying the intrusion of crass popular culture into the sacrosanct rituals of mass and Sunday dinner with the family.  This is a little hard for me to understand as a secular American, because everyone knows that it's church and family that encroaches on television, not the other way around.  Anyhoo, you can't expect the die-hard fans ("ultras") to skip the match because of church and family, so they go, but they don't like it.  A few weeks ago, I can't remember which match, but the ultras went to the game, but protested:  By bringing sandwiches to the match.  And eating them.  

Stuffed-up November Blahs

We have a cold.  Both Mr. D. and I are afflicted and we have both missed some work. The fact that it happened to be a Champions League/Europa League week had nothing to do with it.  We're mostly better now, at least I am.  Tragically, we do not feel well enough for yard work, but that's fine, because I'm not obsessing nearly enough about the bulbs I haven't planted, the woodpile I haven't dealt with, the fencing I haven't finished, or the compost heap I haven't moved.  Unless I work myself into a full-blown anxiety attack, I probably won't get around to it until next week, and when I do it, I'll be out there red-faced and weeping about how much it sucks to do yard work.

Old Lady Post: Not Just a Pretty Face

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 27, 2010 

Tickle-fest!

 

It gets better, I promise, but here's the bad news first:  

 

Diego is gone.  Officially gone.  Officially gone at a loss of about 10 million euros.  With him goes an awful lot of play-making creativity under the age of 30, and God's Favorite Brazilian's best and perhaps only friend.  This.  Is.  Bad.  

Old Lady Mini-Post: Juventus Advance, Diego leaves

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 26, 2010


 LDN lied to us.  Diego is gone.  And to Wolfsburg no less.    This blows.


Juventus defeated Sturm Graz 1-0 (3-1 agg)  at the Stadio Olimpico this afternoon to advance to the Europa League group stage.  Palermo and Napoli advance too, and the Reds.   The group stage draw is tomorrow.   Il capitano was today's goal-scorer with a luscious, sneaky, deceitful, and powerful strike IN THE RUN OF PLAY!  You read that right:  Not on a free kick or PK.


Mercato rumors are getting obscenely ridiculous.  The one I like best is Rafael van der Vaart to Juve to replace Diego, but I'm sure that can only happen in my dreams.  The suits are probably trying to buy Mancini or Simone Loria.  *scoff*


Big normal spam to follow tomorrow or Saturday, assuming I can tear myself away from Imaginary Alessa In My Head.

Old Lady Post: Now with a Title!

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 23,  2010

Issue number 1:  My oh my but you bitchez have a most impressive collection of Claudio icons! 


Issue number 2:  Serie A finally finally finally starts this weekend, but the transfer window stays open until August 30.   Please correct me if I'm wrong about that. 





Arriving at Malpensa, "crazy with joy."

Old Lady Post: Austrians and Bad Hair and Surprise Tangent

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 20, 2010

If this looks familiar, it's because it was from the Modena game against Shamrock.  I can't help it.  Look how pretty!




Whatta Week!  We saw the return of Jonathan Zebina, Certified Douchebag, to training, the return of International Villain and God's Favorite Brazilian Felipe Melo to the pitch, the departure of Tiago Mendes just when it looked like we might be stuck with him on account of his all-consuming greed, and we got a new mid:



Serbian winger Milos Krasic, late of CSKA Moscow.  He has hair issues.   Obviously.   It seems to me that the suits have sorta wanted him all along unless they could do better and get Dzeko if they could, which they couldn't.  Lucky for us, he has such shockingly low self-esteem that  was pleased and honored to hang around all summer being the Old Lady's back-up plan in case it didn't work out with Prince Charming.   And guess what else?  Reportedly, he doesn't suck!  Fortunately, we all have experience coping with bad hair, so perhaps this will work out.

Old Lady Post: Hooray! We Are Screwed.

 So I stalled for a day, and then as I sat down to watch this one with my bottle of Prosecco, my well-developed sense of dread,  and Mr. D's Christmas sweater, I turned to Mr. D and said:

 "Milan 4-0 Juventus.  Two zebras will get sent off, Juve will finish with 9 men, and Alessa will suffer a horrible injury."

And that's before I realized that Gio got banged up during warm-ups and was not going to play.  Hell, I guess at least I'll get to ogle Zlatan (who returned to Italy and apologized to me for going to Spain, thereby redeeming himself and coming back from DeadtoMe status).  I love Zlatan, although he doesn't deserve me.

I'm happy to report that I was mostly wrong in the best possible way.  Juventus pulled ahead with a two-goal lead and DID NOT COMPLETELY BLOW IT in the last few minutes, pulling out a 2-1 lead over the Rossoneri at the San Siro.   \o/



world champions

Old Lady Post: Good News/Bad News, Mercato Edition

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 18, 2010

Let's start with some good news, shall we?  There are about two weeks left in the transfer window.  That means that the suits will not have to create a breach in the time-space continuum to make our dreams come true.  They can act within the confines of our three-dimensional linear-perception-of-time existence and do the right thing, if they want to. 


And more good news:  While I was trying to figure out a way to scam my employer in order to be in front of a stream for the Juve-Sturm game tomorrow, my employer handed me the afternoon on a platter without me even asking.  Now the only obstacle to an afternoon of joy, aside from the zebras themselves, is my cable company, which can't always be counted on to provide me with access to the Interwebs, despite the fact that I pay them to do it.


Unfortunately, it's time for some bad news.

Old Lady Mini-Post: Ding Dong Poulsen's Gone

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 12, 2010

Two down, three to six more to go, depending on your point of view.





Sorry Liverpool fans (of which I am one).

Old Lady Post: Football is Suffering

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON OCTOBER 27, 2010

Juventus went to the Renato Dall'Ara last Sunday.  Some stuff happened, and then some other stuff happened and then Bologna parked the bus in the second half and Juve worked really hard but could not find a way through.   Here's the cold hard truth:  I don't want to talk about it.


Oh, Vincenzo.......

Old Lady Post: Wet Zebras and UEFA Draws

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON AUGUST 6, 2010

Well, then.  That's done.  Whew.   In a match in which the ball spent a lot of time skidding around in the mud and coming to a stand-still in puddles, Juventus managed to eke out a 1-0 result against Shamrock Rovers in the "home" leg in Modena.  Juve advance to the play-off round against SK Sturn Graz of Austria on  August 19 and 26.

In other UEFA draw news, Palermo meets NK Maribor of Slovenia, and Napoli meets IF Elfsborg of Sweden in Europa League, also on August 19 and 26.

Sampdoria meets Werder Bremen in the Champions League play-off round on August 17/18 and August 24/25.




what Bianconeri see when they have nightmares



You've all probably heard the good news/bad news about Giovinco, is that the stuppid, stuppid zebra suits have loaned him to Parma for the whole season.  Good news for him, because he'll presumably get to play (Hear that, suits?  HE'LL GET TO PLAY.  *grumbles*  all the broke-ass mids Juve fielded last years and STILL Elf warmed the bench) but bad news for Juventus and its tifosi because we all know what happens to discarded zebra wunderkind.  They hone their craft elsewhere while nuturing a big ole grudge so when they play the zebras, they kick ass painfully and embarassingly.  *rant rant rant*


Where was I?  Oh yeah!  Don't expect much, cos I only saw the last 16 minutes and I'm having technical problems like woah today, but here goes:  HARK! The  Europa League Match Under the Sea:



Um, it was wet.

Old Lady Post: Zebras in Dublin

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON JULY 30, 2010 

So.  On account of the craptastic season that Juventini everywhere would like to forget, the Bianconeri traveled to Dublin this week for the first leg of a At Least They're In The  Europa League Third Qualifying Round against Shamrock Rovers.   Man oh man.  How awful would it be to get bounced by Shamrock Rovers?  Not that anyone cares, but Mr. D's team is Liverpool and they had to go to Skopje (they won).  It could be worse.  It can always be worse.   Gio was captain.  Lucas captained The Reds (oh the shame!)


The Hairz were there



I actually found a stream for the first time EVAR! (my friends at the Paleolithic Club are going to be really uncomfortable when they find out).  I missed the first 20 minutes or so, and then I fought with an Irish feed that alternated in 30 second cycles of lovely and clear and in English and thirty seconds of dark.  The Irish commentators kept expressing their view that Juve is still the awesome powerhouse it used to be, which was amusing.  At half time, I switched to a blurry but continuous feed that I assumed was in Spanish and didn't notice until maybe minute 70 that it was in Italian.  And on top of that, I was knitting, so take all that into account and don't count on me for journalistic accuracy.

Old Lady Report: Lyon Friendly and URGENT HAIR NEWS

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON JULY 25, 2010




Remember Olympique Lyonnais?  A Champions League semifinalist, home squad of suspended French Number One Hugo Lloris, and the club that gave us Fabio Grosso (Thanks.   Thanks a lot.)?  Juventus played OL in Cosenza in Regione Calabria (ancestral homeland of Dirtbunnies) this weekend and, surprisingly, won the match 2-1.  Don't get excited.  It's only the preseason and Juventini should have learned from last year that preseason results and form are meaningless at best and a cruel visit to Oppositeland at worst, but it is still satisfying to register a victory.

Here's your Starting XI  your Starting X plus some pitch-invading Car Salesman:

Smile, Lanza!  You're touching a legend!

Juventus: We Haz a Marcolino!

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON JULY 8, 2010




Lots of good things happened late last week while Dirtbunny was cruelly isolated from zebra stuff because of a family obligation.


First: 

moar armz plz

'S true!   Juve has obtained Marco Motta on loan from Roma Udinese.  Lordy lordy does Juve need a right back!  He didn't play much last year for Roma, but I think he's packing big guns good and even if he's not, he can't possibly be worse than Zebina, C.D.  Win!


BRB *doing Snoopy dance*

Simmering the sauce

We have achieved the stage of the bolognese when I don't have to stand there and watch any more.  If I just remember to stir it once in awhile, that's enough.  The biscotti are sitting in a turned-off oven for their final crisping, and they will be ready in time for lattes.  And so I am finally sitting down.  Aaaaaaaaaaahhh.


Today's biscotti is Lemon-Anise, only I hate anise, so they are Lemon-Vanilla.  This is the recipe:

I left the magazine on my knitting bag, so Tiki borrowed it and edited it for me.  Maybe it's compulsive to slog through recipes just because they're there, but if I were really compulsive, I'd be forced to use anise instead of being flexible and changing the recipe, right?

Flotsam. Also: Introducing the Bunny Baking Project

So I got up for work one day this month and saw this by the front door.  Can anyone explain this?

Um, yes, those are pants.  Yes, Mr. D's pants.  Why are Mr. D's pants draped over the back of the sofa next to the front door?  Maybe he didn't want to waste any time when the dial-a-whore arrived.

Juventus Transfer News

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON  JULY 1,  2010

Juventini have plenty to forget this summer what with the steaming pile of doo that was 2009-2010, not to mention the Juve-style fail by the Azzurri, oh, and a shortened summer break on account of the Third Qualifying Round matches for the At Least They Made The Europa League on July 29 and August 5. 

I know, bb.  I know.
 

Is there any hope that it could get better in 2010-2011?  An optimistic person would think yes, but Dirtbunny is old enough to have learned an important life lesson:  Expect the worst so it hurts less when they don't deliver.  Let's see what the mercato has done for us so far....

Old Lady Post: The Triumphant Homecoming of Manninger! (sort of)

I know this is from last week but it's the best I got.


Can you feel it?  The impending doom?  Settling over you like an itchy and somewhat smelly blanket that you just can't get away from?   Every time you shake it off and feel the fresh air of Juve 4-0 Lecce, or something similar, here it comes, scratchy and stale, reminding you who you're dealing with:  Salzburg 1-1 Juventus.  At half-way through the group stage, Juve sits third in the group A table with three points.  This represents Serie A quite ill, and it makes the tifosi cranky.  Ugh.


The Hairz were there.

Azzurri in South Africa: The Long Flight Home

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON JUNE 28, 2010


So much for that.  While our boys scrub off the rotten tomatoes that met them at the airport, let's rehash every painful moment, shall we, so we can decide what went wrong and learn from it?  Hmmm?  Any takers?


Yeah, me neither.  I'd rather forget.   While we wait for time to dim the painful memories, perhaps it might be advisable to try on this thing called "optimism" and count our Azzurri blessings.  After all, it could have been worse.

"could have been worse?"  bleagh.    BRB.  Need to wipe puke from laptop.


Ahem.

Old Lady Post: How much scratch does your boy make?

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 7, 2010

Perhaps you're merely curious.

Perhaps you'd like a little reassurance that you aren't all that underpaid.
Perhaps you aspire to be a WAG and want to know which ones are the richest.
Perhaps you want to point and laugh.

Whatever your motive, courtesy of La Gazzetta Dello Sport, here are this year's numbers, arranged by team, from the poverty-stricken teams to the big spenders.

ADP and the Ladies in Bianconeri

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON MAY 12, 2010


The season is almost over and that means the summer transfer season is about to begin.  Please don't ask me when, precisely: I'm new at this.  Transfer rumors make me incapable of attending to the mundane details of life, such as retaining employment so I can pay the electric bill so I can do things like this here post.  Last year was bad, because ADP was going to China, MLS, Spain.  Pirlo was going to Chelsea.  Gattuso and Zambrotta were going, well, no one was sure where they were going, but they weren't going to stay at Milan.  That all worked out nicely in the end.  This year, the Bianconeri rumor mills have already informed us that Zlatan Dead Guy is returning to Juve, ADP is going somewhere or not, Gigi is going to Man City  Arsenal  anywhere they have a Champions League slot, and Giovinco is going to be loaded onto a space pod and blasted out into oblivion so tifosi stop questioning the wisdom of not allowing him to play.  It is only going to get worse.  When the transfer window opens, I am probably going to have to institute at least a partial interwebs embargo.  However, I am currently free to wallow wherever I want, and so I went to the Juventus blog on The Offside to listen to like-minded disappointees hurl rhetorical mud at zebra management, and lo and behold, whatever did I find there?

Dirtbunny News

Although you wouldn't know it from here, I do a lot of writing elsewhere for my friends who appreciate football. I've decided to go back and post some of those entries here because many of them are awfully damn good, even ifthey are crammed with inside jokes and whatnot.

Please consider them to be rated R, and if the f-bomb bothers you, well, there are a lot of f-bombs.

Also, my space bar is sticky, and sometimes I can't be bothered to fix every single one.  Please be patient.

It was a busy month chez nous.  My job got bigger and I had end-of-year craziness to deal with that was never my problem before.  Mr. D had to go to Pork Barrel University again.  We took a vacation for the first time in three years.  The old folks visited.  Football started, and so did both Champions League and Europa League, as well as qualifying matches for Euro 2012.  This year, this means more than just hours watching football and thinking unclean thoughts about football players because now I am writing about it for a online community of Serie A tifosi.  I'm responsible for covering Juventus, so I'm doing match reports after every match (one or two every week), and covering the transfer market and whatever other news may come up.  I love it, but it's a time commitment.  Aaaaaaand,  Kirby stopped walking, so he spent a few days in the hospital getting expensive tests, and his progress since then has been up and down.  When he's up, he can do pretty much everything, but his balance is tetchy and he's prone to falls.  When he's down, he can't walk, has to be carried everywhere, and has to be supported when he potties.  And no, we still don't know exactly what the cause of all this is, and yes there will be more vet trips (including tomorrow) so the doggie neurologist can assess his progress on his treatment plan.  The space bar on my laptop needs to be hitjust so, which means weird things happenwhen I write.  And there has been knitting.

Lame Yarn Post

I am in the black hole of knitting.  I knit and knit and knit and nothing much happens.  I've been working on pretty much all of my projects for at least two months and I have very little to show for any of it. Except these:

These are the Scottish Highland socks.  Mindless monkey knitting featuring STR.  No big deal.


I started a pair of socks for my sister-in-law in July.  I finished the first one this morning, but only after forcing myself to hunker down.  This is where I was before the weekend:

Now this right here, this is the big time suck:

Hm.  In the photo, you can actually see the pattern.  In real life, it's just a pile of fuzzy grey stuff that is lace and therefore, ALL TOGETHER NOW, looks like ass.  I can't believe I'm only halfway through.

Oops.  I forgot this:

Hm.  OK now that cheers me up. Nice lace, huh?